I had an epiphany...of sorts...yesterday. Hobbling round Tesco on my way home from work in heels. It was boiling hot, my feet ached and I found myself looking longingly at the flipflops. Anyone who knows me will understand this was a serious situation.
And I had a sudden thought. Why do I wear heels? How many days/nights out have been ruined by heels? Take the other weekend for instance. We went clubbing. I wore heels. They were from the "comfort" range in New Look but were far from comfortable. After approximately half an hour I took off my shoes and spent the rest of the night treading carefully through lager, sick and broken glass in my bare feet. At one point a bouncer came over and asked me not to sit on a wall as there may be broken glass on it. Never mind the wall, I thought. I've got no bloody shoes on, I'm pretty sure the floor has got broken glass on it.
There was a lady on the dancefloor in trainers. God but she looked comfy. I wished my converses weren't back at the house under the settee. Admittably she also looked like a lesbian. I think she was a lesbian. But that's not necessarily a negative.
So, anyway, from now on. No more heels. It's comfort over sexy, sassy, sophisticated, all those words that I fail miserably at. I always look like Barbara Windsor in heels anyway.
My new mission in life is to find flat shoes that will still look good for weddings/nights out/stock controller training courses in fancy hotels. I'm not sure such a thing exist. But I will make it my business to find them. Watch this space...
Friday 19 June 2015
Monday 15 June 2015
When Grandma and Grandad came to visit and we went to a fete and a fun day. By Bessie
On Friday Grandma and Grandad came to stay for Mummy's birthday. Tom had an appointment and Katie needed to pop into school to take her art folder for an exhibition (Did I tell you she got an A* in art?) so they was running round all afternoon running errands. Then Daddy came home so they could have dinner and wine for the ladies, beer for the men.
On Saturday it was raining all morning so we just sat in the conservatory and admired me mainly. In the afternoon it stopped for a bit so we went to the fete in the next village. Well, if you can call a goat on a string, a coconut shy and a stall sending tat someone found in their village a fete. Thank god for Avril and her chutneys or it would have been a complete waste of time. The humans all paid 50p to get in then Mummy and Grandma both guessed the weight of the goat for a chance to win the goat. Then they bought some chutney and left...after about a minute and a half.
So we went for a walk through the village instead then came home for a nap/cup of tea depending on your species.
In the evening the humans went to the eat as much as you can fit in your gob restaurant in Cardiff. This is what my Mummy had for her birthday tea: Sushi, chilli, chicken korma, biryani, chips, egg fried rice, prawn crackers, poached salmon, cauliflower cheese, salad, noodles and olives. And for pudding she had trifle and cheesecake with custard.
On Sunday it was the basset club summer fun day. We got up super early cos we had to pick up two foster doggies on the way. Grandma and Grandad said they had seen enough Bassets for one weekend so they went home. Tom and Katie didn't want to come but Bryn did so us houndies, Mummy, Daddy and Bryn got in the car and drove to the fun day. When we got there Mummy and Mr Wayne went to fetch the foster dogs, Bill and Ben. Mr Wayne's houndies, Ronnie and Rosie and his son Ben sat with us, Daddy and Bryn and waited.
After a while Mummy and Mr Wayne brought the foster dogs back. They were very good foster dogs. Ben was a little bit whiney but Bill was super laid back. Aunty Louise and Uncle Dave and the houndies were there too, then Tilly and Bert and Jazz and Fin came. We had a super fun day. It was quieter than usual cos a lot of the people had gone to a dog show but we still had a good time. Daddy said Mark's barbeque was the best he ever tasted.
Lotty won the sausage race. Rosie won Miss World. We came second in the fancy dress to a little girl and basset in fairy costumes. Mummy was keen to use the lion costume again. We have already done Wizard of Oz and Lion King so we did Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. I think the lion costume has had it now. Thank god. And then Bill and Ben won the trophy for dog the judge would most like to take home, so we get to keep the trophy for a whole year. It is on the mantelpiece now.
Then it was time to go home so Bill and Ben went home with Mr Wayne in the bassetmobile and we said goodbye to all our friends and had a little nap in the car and when we woke up we were home.
p.s. the prize in the guess the goat competition was actually a bottle of wine. I just said it was the goat for comedic effect.
Wednesday 10 June 2015
Back at the lakes. By Bessie
On Sunday we went for a Basset Waddle at Cosmeston Lakes. We were a bit worried cos there was a family fun run being held on the same day and we thought it might be busy but I think more people turned up for our walk than the fun run. We had 28 bassets and 4 honoury bassets (ie dogs that are not Bassets). We had a brilliant day except for losing Tilly and Bertie's cousin dog Bentley the sheepdog. He followed the wrong dog and ended up back at the car park. Bertie, Tilly and Lotty took some humans back to find him. Luckily he made it back and was waiting by the cars. So we waited for them to catch us up and all was fine.
It was a beautiful sunny day and we stopped at the lake for a picnic and luckily there were no dead fishes there this time. Shirley stole a dentastik out of the bottom of a strangers pram and it was at that point we decided we had probably been sat picnicking long enough and carried on with our walk. As we passed the main lake where all the people were, an old man sat on a bench KICKED Carly as she walked past. Mummy told him if she ever saw him do that again she would kick his head in. (Cos she's polite like that) Then Lotty started running towards a family having a picnic. Mummy could see a bread roll lay on top of a tupperware so she shouted "PICK UP YOUR SANDWICH" but they all just sat there smiling. When Mummy got there she managed to pull Lotty away just before she snatched the roll and apologised like a million times and the family just carried on smiling. Afterwards Mummy said she didn't think they spoke English and Daddy said they spoke perfect English. "Then why didn't they pick up their rolls?" Bryn said "It wasn't a roll, it was a chapati." Oh well that's ok then.
It was a beautiful sunny day and we stopped at the lake for a picnic and luckily there were no dead fishes there this time. Shirley stole a dentastik out of the bottom of a strangers pram and it was at that point we decided we had probably been sat picnicking long enough and carried on with our walk. As we passed the main lake where all the people were, an old man sat on a bench KICKED Carly as she walked past. Mummy told him if she ever saw him do that again she would kick his head in. (Cos she's polite like that) Then Lotty started running towards a family having a picnic. Mummy could see a bread roll lay on top of a tupperware so she shouted "PICK UP YOUR SANDWICH" but they all just sat there smiling. When Mummy got there she managed to pull Lotty away just before she snatched the roll and apologised like a million times and the family just carried on smiling. Afterwards Mummy said she didn't think they spoke English and Daddy said they spoke perfect English. "Then why didn't they pick up their rolls?" Bryn said "It wasn't a roll, it was a chapati." Oh well that's ok then.
I blame One Direction for everything. By Bessie
Chalky and Revel stayed with us for just over a week. Last Tuesday Miss Elaine came to collect them. They were very good foster dogs and we loved having them around. It was just that one dog too much though having five. Even Mummy admits that.
Lotty has an ear infection. Mummy took her to the vets. She cried all the way there (Lotty not Mummy. Mummy's not great in the car but she's slightly better than Lotty). She cried the whole time in the waiting room. When the vet examined her she did the scream of death so loud people fell out of bed three streets away (most likely). Then the vet charged £130 and Mummy did the scream of death too (probably).
Anyway she's been having her antibiotics twice a day for over a week now and she's still no better. She bites too when she has her meds so Mummy has a lot of new scars.
On Friday Mummy went to Wantage to Aunty Spam's house for their annual night out with Aunty Looby. She was planning on leaving work at 4 and going straight there. So she franked Grandad's birthday card ready to stick in the franking post box at the end of the road. But then just before 4 Rhys, the TNT driver, came in and said it had taken him an hour to get from town to work and that every single road in Newport was at a standstill. One Direction were playing the Millenium Stadium and Manic Street Preachers were playing at Cardiff Castle and there was a 45 mile traffic jam on the M4 so everyone was coming through Newport.
So Mummy thought well I'm not going anywhere so she decided to wait in work until the traffic had calmed down a bit. Then Bryn phoned and said he was at Tesco and could Mummy come and pick him up. She said no she couldn't cos she couldn't get to Tesco. So he said ok how about KFC? She said she literally couldn't leave work cos there honestly was standing traffic right outside the window by this point. And anyway, she said, if you're going to walk to KFC you may as well walk home. So she told him he could either walk home and be home in half an hour or he could walk to work and be home whenever the bloomin eck they get home.
Anyway ten minutes later he turned up at work and said the traffic is ok up to the corner so Mummy thought she knows a route home so her and Bryn left and they got to the corner but the traffic was stopped and they couldn't get to the franking post box so Mummy said it's OK I will post the birthday card at the next post box and hope she doesn't get a nasty letter from the Royal Mail for putting it in the wrong post box (again). So they went through the back alleys of the industrial estate and came out on the marshes where there was no traffic and went home under the really low railway bridge which is a bit scary and they only use in emergencies.
Then Mummy dropped Bryn off at home and went to Aunty Spam's house and Aunty Looby was already there so they got their party clothes on and went nightclubbing. It was an 80s night and there was a tribute band who were amazing. They danced all night and their feeties are still hurting like five days later. Oh and when she got there she found Grandad's birthday card on the passenger seat and finally got to post it.
Lotty has an ear infection. Mummy took her to the vets. She cried all the way there (Lotty not Mummy. Mummy's not great in the car but she's slightly better than Lotty). She cried the whole time in the waiting room. When the vet examined her she did the scream of death so loud people fell out of bed three streets away (most likely). Then the vet charged £130 and Mummy did the scream of death too (probably).
Anyway she's been having her antibiotics twice a day for over a week now and she's still no better. She bites too when she has her meds so Mummy has a lot of new scars.
On Friday Mummy went to Wantage to Aunty Spam's house for their annual night out with Aunty Looby. She was planning on leaving work at 4 and going straight there. So she franked Grandad's birthday card ready to stick in the franking post box at the end of the road. But then just before 4 Rhys, the TNT driver, came in and said it had taken him an hour to get from town to work and that every single road in Newport was at a standstill. One Direction were playing the Millenium Stadium and Manic Street Preachers were playing at Cardiff Castle and there was a 45 mile traffic jam on the M4 so everyone was coming through Newport.
So Mummy thought well I'm not going anywhere so she decided to wait in work until the traffic had calmed down a bit. Then Bryn phoned and said he was at Tesco and could Mummy come and pick him up. She said no she couldn't cos she couldn't get to Tesco. So he said ok how about KFC? She said she literally couldn't leave work cos there honestly was standing traffic right outside the window by this point. And anyway, she said, if you're going to walk to KFC you may as well walk home. So she told him he could either walk home and be home in half an hour or he could walk to work and be home whenever the bloomin eck they get home.
Anyway ten minutes later he turned up at work and said the traffic is ok up to the corner so Mummy thought she knows a route home so her and Bryn left and they got to the corner but the traffic was stopped and they couldn't get to the franking post box so Mummy said it's OK I will post the birthday card at the next post box and hope she doesn't get a nasty letter from the Royal Mail for putting it in the wrong post box (again). So they went through the back alleys of the industrial estate and came out on the marshes where there was no traffic and went home under the really low railway bridge which is a bit scary and they only use in emergencies.
Then Mummy dropped Bryn off at home and went to Aunty Spam's house and Aunty Looby was already there so they got their party clothes on and went nightclubbing. It was an 80s night and there was a tribute band who were amazing. They danced all night and their feeties are still hurting like five days later. Oh and when she got there she found Grandad's birthday card on the passenger seat and finally got to post it.
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