Who is Robert Wagner anyway? By Bessie.

On Saturday we had a committee meeting at our house but really just an excuse to drink too much and eat too much.    Spam, Looby, Jeffersonmummeezellen and Jeffersondaddeezellen came with Penny, Bumble, Bridget and Daisy.    The mens went to the pub to watch the football and the ladies had a meeting.  They did talking about important things and stuff despite what the photos that I can't show you might imply.

Then the mens came back and everybody did tequila shots and we houndies had our dinner and then the humans had party tea.   Then we went in the lounge and played games.     Board games I mean, not throwing your car keys in a bowl type games.  We don't have enough beds for that and even if we did there would be houndies asleep on all of them.

Looby painted a moose-tache on Spam's face then labelled her own boobies Phil and Grant.   Like you do.  Mummy said after it would have been funny to swap the dry wipe marker for a permanent marker but I think Aunty Spam would probably not agree.

And Robert Wagner won at Trivial Pursuit.  Who would have guessed?

It's all go at Houndy HQ.    I don't know how we manage to fit in running round like feral beasts on top of everything else we have to do.

50 shades of shut the f*** up. By Sam.

I am bored bored bored of all this 50 shades talk.   There's something a little distasteful about a load of middle aged women all giggling about potentially having the crap beaten out of them by the serial killer from The Fall.

UGH.   Behave.   Be different.

And I will most definitely not be buying anything from the bondage underwear department in Tesco.  If I did want to buy bondage underwear I would choose somewhere a bit more niche...who am I kidding?    Primark all the way.

Happy Valentines you bunch of weirdos.

this is why I won't be going to the cinema

Childhood ruined. By Sam.

I wanted to read the Enchanted Wood again to see if it was as good as I remember.   Bad idea.  Childhood ruined.    When I was little this trilogy was my favourite.  I reread them over and over.   I remember being terrified of the Snowman and Dame Slap and actually feeling real terror, when your heart starts pounding and you go boiling hot.    I thought the children were so amazing and Moon Face was kindly.  

But now I realise it was all a con.   Jo is a rude obnoxious little boy who needs a good slap.   Their parents are lazy and irresponsible.   Bessie is a doormat who is made to do all the work just because she is a girl and she just sits back and takes it.   Moonface is rude and disrespectful.    The danger is non existent, the snowman is less menacing than Winnie the Pooh.   The tree doesn't even seem so big.  Now as I'm reading the only danger I can sense is the branches snapping under the weight of them or being bitten by a wild animal.   I wish I had never read it again.    I'm sad now.  

Maybe tomorrow I will reread Malory Towers and realise that Alicia is a big slag and Darryl is a lesbian.

I know these books were written for a different time but were things so old fashioned when I was a child that I thought the family dynamics in these stories were normal?   No wonder modern day children refuse to read Enid Blyton.  She wasn't right in the head.