Pineapple? It only bloody works. By Sam

Fingers crossed.  Touch wood.  And all that.

But... I think the dogs have finally stopped eating each others poo.  I bought a tub of fresh pineapple chunks in pineapple juice and give them each 3 small chunks and a dessert spoon of pineapple juice in every meal.  Have been doing this for 3 days now and they haven't eaten a single poo since.  I know they haven't cos all their breath smells better and we are picking up about 10 times as many poos off the decking.

Just wish they wouldn't always insist on doing their business right outside the back door.  As well as treading it back in the house, if the wind is in the wrong direction the smell drifts in.

I looked it up online and so far have found no unpleasant side effects.  Only good ones.  Apparently pineapple contains the enzyme Bromelain which helps fight cancer.  I don't know how much pineapple you would have to eat or how effective it is in this respect but every little helps and all that.

Me did try jobs today. By Bessie

Me did try out different jobs today.  Me tried being a nurse but me not going to do it if I has to clean up sicks or bloods.

Then me tried being a chef.  Me helped Mummy cooking.  We made chikin tikka and cuppycakes and rock cakes.  Them rock cakes was the best thing what we made.

Then me tried being a chamber maid and helped Mummy put clean sheets on the bed. 

Then it was time to finish work so me took off my uniforms and had my tea and watched Lotty and Carly practice high jump over the fence.

Anybody want to buy a sister? By Bessie

My sister bassets are very naughty.  Them do give us all a bad name.

Carly did get the scent of a squirrel and she leapt a stream, climbed up a 15ft vertical bank and ran about 100 yards along the bank then leapt over a ravine and Katie had to climb up and fetch her back.  Her was like a mountain goat.  We has changed her name to Spiderdog.

Mummy was marinading some soya mince for the humans tea and her had put the last of the marmite in it and Carly did one of her megaleaps and pulled the bowl off the worktop right out of mummys hand and knocked  it on the floor so hard that it splatted all across the kitchen.  And there was mince and sauce all over the floor, under the cooker, up the kitchen wall, all over the kitchen door, on the hall floor, on the lounge door, on the toilet door and then we was all eating it off the floor and Mummy did go all mental on us and started screaming "GER ART O MAH KITCHEN".  Then her did sit on the floor and cry a bit and Daddy and Katie did help clean up the mess and then Daddy went to the shop to buy some marmite so Mummy could start again.

Then her went upstairs and did a wee on the new carpet.

Bookasha pow pow! By Bessie

Yesterday Lotty went to agility training and Mummy said me and Carly could come and watch so we sat in the corner and watched.  Her was excited cos we was there and at first her kept running back to talk to us and I said NO LOTTY and her did knuckle down and do her training properly after that and her was quite good for a nutter.  We was a bit scared when her did the high beam but her was very brave and did good.

Then we went for a walk round the roman walls at Caerwent and after that we had some lunch and then we did all go for a nap cos Mummy had a migraine and did feel sick.  Then Mummy went to get Bryn from school but her was so sick Daddy had to bring them both home.

We did have a very quiet night.  Katie minihuman went camping with the cadets.  Her did have a good time.  Her played hide and seek in the woods at midnight and them went clay pigeon shooting and her did shoot 10 rounds with a machine gun and had a ration pack with biscuits and hot chocolate and noodles and all sorts of nice foodies.

And Tom was staying at his friends house and Mummy was sick in bed so we did have cuddles with our Daddy.

Cold turkey diary. By Sam

Day 1 Thursday 20th September

Went a whole day without taking any painkillers.  I had a little wobble around lunchtime so I sellotaped the boxes up so I couldn't sneak one and had a custard slice and a cup of tea.  That did the trick.

Day 2 Friday 21st September

Woke up with a huge migraine but I had a glass of milk and took Lotty to agility training and then took the dogs for a walk.  But by the time I got home I felt so sick I had to go off to bed, fell asleep, was 10 minutes late picking Bryn up from school and had to leave my car in the warehouse at work overnight and get John to drive us home cos I couldn't even see the road.  By the time I drove the half mile from school to work at 5 miles an hour with one eye working I felt so bad I was nearly in tears and ripped the boxes of painkillers open to get to my precious drugs.

So there you have it.  I'm clearly addicted to painkillers.  But I can't go through a month of that.  I know the experts said it would get worse before it got better but I didn't even make it 24 hours.

THE END

Why I have to go cold turkey. By Sam

It was on the news last night that taking painkillers more than 15 days a month makes migraines worse.  They suggested that if I stop taking them completely for a month then my migraines will get better.  BUT I should really go and see my GP first because I might get worse before I get better and might even need hospitalising!  Well I take at least two anadin extra every day and triptan maybe two or three times a month.  And I haven't got time to see my GP so here goes nothing.

I'm still going to take my three beta blockers every day.  If I stop them I get palpitations and get really sick.

But today I have had no painkillers... so far.  It's 12.25pm.  My head hurts a little bit but I'm going to have a creamcake.  That might help.

I copied this off the NHS website:
A warning that overusing certain painkillers can cause a "vicious cycle" of disabling headaches is widely reported in the papers today.  "More than one million people in Britain may be suffering from constant, crippling headaches because they are taking too many painkillers," the Guardian explains.

The stories are based on new guidance for doctors and other health professionals from the National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) on the diagnosis and treatment of headaches.

While the guidance covered many different types of headaches, NICE was especially keen to highlight what are known as "medication overuse headaches" – possibly because this condition is often not recognised by either the public or health professionals.

Medication overuse headache is a poorly understood but well-established condition where long-term use of painkillers, such as aspirin, paracetamol and the non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen, actually worsen the headache, both in terms of severity and frequency.

NICE warns that people who regularly take certain common painkillers could be "causing themselves more pain than relief". The guidance calls on GPs and other healthcare professionals to consider the possibility of "medication overuse" in their patients.

You should contact your GP for advice if:

• you take paracetamol, aspirin or an NSAID for 15 days or more in a month to control headaches

• you take an opiate-based painkiller, such as codeine, triptans or ergots,  or a combination of different painkillers, for 10 days or more to control headaches

• Paracetamol, aspirin or an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug), either alone or in combination, on 15 days a month or more.  NSAIDs include over-the-counter medications such as ibuprofen and naproxen. These drugs are widely used to relieve pain and fever and are also often used for many chronic musculoskeletal conditions such as arthritis or low back pain.

• Triptans, opioids, ergots or combination painkillers on 10 days a month or more. These are stronger pain medications that may be prescribed by doctors when over-the-counter medications are ineffective. Triptans (for example, sumatriptan, brand name Imigran) are drugs with a different method of action from standard painkillers and are prescribed to relieve migraine or cluster headaches (where there is severe pain or throbbing usually in a particular place, such as around one eye). Opioids are strong painkillers used to relieve persistent pain; there are many opioids ranging from codeine and tramadol to strong opioids such as morphine. Ergots are painkillers that can be used for migraine, though they are rarely prescribed now due to side effects (triptans are prescribed more commonly for migraine).

The new guidance covers the diagnosis and treatment of the most common types of "primary" headaches in young people (aged 12 years or older) and adults. Primary headaches are those which are not caused by an underlying disease and are normally classified as tension-type headache, migraine or cluster headache. NICE recommends that doctors diagnose these different types of headache according to patients' symptoms (there is a characteristic symptom pattern with each), and recommends specific treatments for each type. It also sets out the circumstances where further investigation should be considered.

• headaches that develop after a head injury that happened within the past three months

• headaches that are getting worse and are accompanied by a fever

• headaches that start very suddenly

• problems with speech or balance that happen regularly and are getting worse

• problems with memory or changes in behaviour that happen regularly and are getting worse

• feelings of confusion or disorientation

• a change in personality

• headaches that start after coughing, sneezing or straining

• headaches that start after exercise

• headaches that are worse when sitting or standing up

• a red or painful eye(s)

• a substantial change in the headache symptoms

• your immunity is low, for example because you are HIV positive or are taking medication that lowers immunity

• you are aged under 20 and have had any type of cancer

• you have had a type of cancer that can spread to the brain

• you are vomiting for no obvious reason

What should I do if I think my painkillers are contributing to my headaches?

NICE says that GPs and other health professionals should be alert to the possibility of medication overuse in people whose headache developed or worsened while they were taking any of the following drugs for three months or more:

NICE says the only treatment for headaches caused by medication overuse is to stop using the medication in question. It says the medication should be "stopped abruptly" rather than gradually. It also advises that after stopping the painkiller, headache symptoms are likely to become worse in the short term before they improve and that there may be associated withdrawal symptoms. People stopping their medication for this reason, it says, will need "close follow-up and support" from health professionals.

A neurologist quoted by The Guardian said that some people "would have an awful two to three weeks" and would understandably have problems with activities such as working. If you are concerned that this may apply to you it may be possible to take sick leave from your job.

The neurologist also recommended that you contact friends and family to let them know what you will be going through so that they can provide support.

NICE also says that some patients suffering from medication overuse should be referred to a specialist, and possibly admitted to hospital, for help to stop taking painkillers. This group includes people using strong opioids, people with other significant medical illness, and those for whom previous attempts to stop medication overuse have been unsuccessful. 

It also says that for people with medication overuse headache, doctors should consider preventative treatment for the underlying headache disorder, in addition to the withdrawal of overused medication. Preventative (or prophylactic) treatment will depend on the type of headache that has been diagnosed. For example, the guidance recommends a course of acupuncture to help prevent "tension-type headache" (NICE also calls this “every day” headache, meaning the common mild-moderate, pressure-type headache most people have when they say they have a headache) and, to help prevent migraine attacks, drugs called topiramate or propranolol (respectively, a type of antiepileptic drug and a beta blocker, both licensed for migraine prevention).

Martin Underwood, a GP and professor of primary care research at Warwick Medical School, who chaired the guideline's development, said: "We have effective treatments for common headache types. However, taking these medicines for more than ten or fifteen days a month can cause medication overuse headache, which is a disabling and preventable disorder.

"Patients with frequent tension-type headaches or migraines can get themselves into a vicious cycle, where their headaches are getting increasingly worse, so they take more medication which makes their pain even worse.

"I hope this guideline will improve awareness of medication overuse headache both in primary care and among the general public, because prevention is simple and treatment is difficult. Explaining to patients that they should abruptly stop their medication, knowing that their headache will get much worse for several weeks before it will improve, is not an easy consultation."

 In particular, NICE says people diagnosed with these headaches should be given an explanation of the diagnosis and reassured that their headaches are not caused by any underlying disease or illness.   Any discussion with the patient should include recognition that "headache is a valid medical disorder that can have a significant impact on the person or their family or carers".  Options for treatment should also be discussed.

NICE also advises that people diagnosed with a primary headache or with medication overuse headache should not be referred for further investigations (for example, CT or MRI scans of the brain) "solely for reassurance". Manjit Matharu, an honorary consultant neurologist at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery and a guideline developer, said that although brain imaging was "an important diagnostic tool", most people's headaches will not be caused by brain tumours or other serious health problems, and so these scans should not be offered to patients solely for reassurance.

NICE did, however, mention a number of potential "red flag" indicators that in its opinion warranted further investigation, which could include referral to a specialist. They included:

Further testing or referral to a specialist is also recommended if:

The guidelines also say that many of the current treatments used to treat migraines and cluster headaches had good evidence of being effective and should continue to be used. Read more about the treatment of migraines and cluster headaches.

 The only treatment for medication overuse headaches is to stop the medication in question for at least one month, according to NICE. You may feel you can manage this yourself, if you have been taking painkillers for months rather than years. If you find the idea of this difficult, see your GP. Your headache is likely to get worse in the short term before it improves and you may have temporary symptoms of withdrawal such as feeling sick or problems sleeping. You should be offered the support you need to stop taking these drugs.

If you are using a strong opioid or have other health problems, or you have tried stopping painkillers without success, your health professional may refer you to a specialist or to hospital.

Your healthcare professional should see you 4-8 weeks after you stop taking the drugs to check whether stopping has reduced your medication overuse headache.

Your health professional should also advise you of treatments to prevent any underlying headache disorder that  caused you to overuse painkillers. 

Saddest day ever. By Bessie

Today was the worst day ever.  Mummy went to work and when she come home she went in the garden and Lyndsey bunny was sat on the lawn shaking her head from side to side and rocking.  So Mummy leaped over the fence and ran to her and Lyndsey tried to run to Mummy but her couldn't move in a straight line so her just staggered round in a circle with her head on one side and her front legs kept collapsing.

Mummy picked her up and held her on her lap for ages and she just lay there making this weird clicking noise.  Every so often she wanted to go down and Mummy put her on the lawn but her seemed to be getting worse walking each time so Mummy took her inside and wrapped her up in a blankie to stay warm and phoned Daddy.  Him said him would meet Mummy at the V E T so Mummy and Katie took her to the V E T.  Katie was very scared and was crying lots and cuddling with Lyndsey in the car.

When they got to the V E T Katie didn't want to come in cos she was too sad so Mummy and Daddy took her in and the V E T took one look at her and said she was a very poorly girl.  Mummy put her on the floor to show the V E T how bad she was walking and Lyndsey just fell over sideways.  So they laid her on the table in her blankie and it was like she had already left us, she was barely conscious.  So Mummy and Daddy said she was very old and blind and they didn't want her to suffer and the V E T did agree that it wasn't fair for a active bunny like Lyndsey to live like this so her did give Mummy and Daddy a form to sign then they had cuddles with Lyndsey then her did take her away.  Mummy and Daddy was very sad but them did try and be brave for each other.  When the V E T did bring Lyndsey back her was all wrapped up in her blankie and them did bring her home and Daddy did bury her in her favourite spot in the garden.  Him put some food and some hay in the box for the journey and it was all very very sad.  Poor Horace is heartbroken, his best friend in the world has gone.

Stupid broken scales. By Bessie

On Monday Mummy and Daddy had a day off work so they took the minihumans to school and college and then Daddy went to get his eyes tested and Mummy went to buy some food for us.  her bought a bag of Senior food for me cos it said it is for dogs who is watching their weight and some puppy food for Lotty cos it said it for dogs who needs to put weight on.

Then Daddy spent an hour trying every pair of glasses on in the shop with Mummy laughing and saying he looks like Inspector Gadget/ Eric Morecambe/ a big eejit.  In the end him got cross and said he would get the minihumans to help him choose after school.

Then they come home and we all went for a nice walk.  We met a weimeramer called Blue.  It wasn't my Blue though cos him was fat and my Blue wasn't fat.

Carly saw a squirrel and she chased it but it went up a tree so she sat at the bottom of the tree and waited and in the end Daddy had to climb through all the brambles and drag her away.

Then Daddy took Mummy out for lunch and them was discussing how worried they was about Lotty and what if there was something wrong with her.  After lunch they went to look at the big fancy showhomes in the next village and the sales lady was obviously very bored cos she offered to show them round all the empty houses in the road so of course, being nosy, they did go for a look.  The first one was lovely.  It was all finished and ready to move in.  Someone had chosen all the fittings and paid for extra stuff but then hadn't bought it in the end.  Mummy said they had very good taste cos she really liked what they had picked.  The only thing they didn't like was the garden was small and all the front windows looked right into someone elses house.

The second one wasn't finished yet and it had no stair rails or proper walls or anything and the garden backed onto a 12ft barbed wire fence.  Daddy said "is that staying?" and the lady said yes cos it's the MOD land behind.  Mummy and Daddy was not impressed.

The last house was smaller than our house and £100k more expensive.  Them was not impressed with that either.  So they came home to see us.

Then them took Lotty to be weighed and it turns out the scales at Pets at Home was broke cos she is actually 14.6kg.  HURRAY!  There nothing wrong with her!  She still needs to put on at least 4 kilos but she is healthy.  We is all so relieved.

Then them picked the minihumans up from school and went to choose Daddy's glasses but the minihumans was tired and grouchy and Mummy had a migraine so she took a really strong tablet that made her silly and sleepy so Daddy had to choose by himself.  Then them came home and we had tea and watched telly.

"A nice walk" he said. Round a carpark? By Bessie

Today we did get up nice and early so we could go to the classic car show.  But then the minihumans decided they wanted to come too so we had to wait forever for them to get ready.

When we got to the show we did walk round this massive carpark for ages.  There was some nice cars in this massive carpark and it was all on grass in the park and all that but it was a massive carpark all the same. We did keep saying "are we there yet?" and mummy said "yes we are here" but we didn't see no classic car show.  Just lots of nice cars in a massive carpark.

And we seen Aunty Julie!  Her did come running over for a cuddle.  We like Aunty Julie.  But then Mummy and Aunty Julie did gossip for too long and Carly got comfy and thought that the 5 metres around her was her grass and she was shouting at every dog who walked past.

Then this lady came over and gave Mummy a pack of basset coasters.  Her was off one of them carboot type stalls.  Mummy did recognise the lady and then after she remembered she was the south wales rep for greyhound welfare what we did meet that time at Pets at Home.

After we finished walking round the carpark we went to Pets at Home to buy food for Lyndsey Rabbit.  Mummy did only get a small bag cos her not know if Lyndsey going to be with us for much longer.  Her very old and frail and blind and it makes us all very sad to think she might not have long left.

Then Mummy asked if she could have Lotty weighed and the girl did get the scales out and her asked how much she was last time and Mummy said she was 14.2kg two months ago and the girl weighed Lotty and she was 10.2kg and Mummy gasped and the girl gasped and this couple waiting to have their yorkies weighed gasped.  Then the girl went to get the nutritionalist and her came and said Lotty looked severely malnourished but Mummy told her how much she eats and she said she sounds like she needs to see a V E T and if they put her on a special diet then to phone and make an appointment to see the nutritionalist at the shop and her will get 25% off the food if they can get the right one.  That was very nice of them we did think.

Then we come home and Mummy was upset about how small Lotty was, her was expecting her to have lost a teeny bit of weight but not 4kg.

Tomorrow is Mummy's day off from work so her going to take Lotty into work and put her on the big scales in the warehouse and see if she is the same weight there.  Hopefully Pets at Home scales was broke and she not that small.  Me never in my life heard of a adult basset that light.

Mummy made Lotty extra food for tea, her going to give her extra portions and see if she starts putting on weight.  Daddy said Carly looks thinner too so maybe it's the food Mummy feeding us.  But then Mummy said it can't be cos Bessie is on the same and she is fat.  *EXCUSE ME?  HOW ROOOD*

Anyway Lotty had a cup and a half of kibble and extra wet food and pilchards and a slice of toast and grated cheese.  Her was supposed to keep it secret from me and Carly but we smelled it on her.

How we turned Daddy into a girl. By Bessie

Yesterday someone in Daddy's work broke all the electric unplugging the toastie maker with wet paws and them did have no phones all day.  Daddy did stay and try to mend it but he couldn't so him went to work this morning at 7.30 (on a Saturday!) and stayed there all morning trying to mend it but him couldn't so them still got no phones.

Mummy got a DVD in the post what she got free with a bottle of wine.  She could choose from a load of titles but none of them was new ones so she picked Pride and Prejudice cos its one of her favourite books and she never seen the film.

We went for a walk and trolled someones wedding photos.  We think them was being cheapskates cos them was taking pictures outside the castle and in the grounds but not inside and then when we walked past the pub we saw that was where they was having the reception, not in the castle.  Anyway if you does stand in public having your photo taken then you has to expect to find 3 bassets and a woman in a red anorak in your photos.  You probably want to photoshop us out, we don't want to upstage the bride.

Then we went to Waitrose and Daddy bought a pack of ginger biscuits and some cornettos.  *sighs* him so predictable.  Him ask Mummy if she wants a biscuit and she say no cos she never did like ginger biscuits but him forgets every time and buys them.

Then we come home and watched the film.  We did like it lots, and Daddy said him did too.  We has converted him to chickflick, we is happy.   Next week we going to get Emma or Sense and Sensibility or something and make him watch that too.

Tomorrow we is going to a classic car show at Tredegar House.  Daddy did show his car there one year but it was before we did live here so we never seen Daddys car but him says it was good and we would have liked it.

New series of Downton Abbey starts tomorrow.  We is very excited.  We loves that programme, we want to live in that house.

This is Daddy's old car.  Does you like it?

What we have learned so far about selling your house. By Bessie

We, me and Mummy, has read millions of things on the internet and seen all the property telly programmes and read property magazines in the dentist waiting room and talked to everyone we knows about selling houses.  And we has been given a lot of advice.  Some of it is quite conflicting and confusing, like depersonalise your house cos people can't imagine their stuff in there if there's too much of your stuff.  But then they also say empty houses are harder to sell cos people can't imagine their stuff in there if there is no furniture *screams*  Are people really that stupid?  Don't answer that.  Anyway we have written a list of things we think work and don't work.  Of course you has to bear in mind our house has been for sale for 5 months, we have had 9 viewings - them do say on average 12-15 people will view before someone buys - so we is clearly no experts.

• If your estate agent offers to take people round, let them.  That is what you is paying them for and they knows best.  Probably though you will get most of your viewings on a Saturday and if your estate agent is like ours they is too busy to accompany viewers on a weekend so you have to do it yourself anyway.  
• Don't have too many people in the house when people come to view cos it makes the house look crowded and smaller.  If the estate agent is showing them round, then let him in and go for a walk round the block.  Most people don't stay longer than 10 minutes anyway.  If you is showing people round yourself then just the adult grown ups should be there.  If you has little children one of the adults should take them out.
• As above, make sure the children are out of the way and the pets too.  Hide all the dog and cat bowls and beds.  We always put them in the boot of the car when we has a viewing.  If you has a fishtank turn the lights on even if the fishies are supposed to be asleep, cos they look dirty and gloomy with the lights off.  Get the children to take the dogs for a walk at least half an hour before people come so you can hoover the hair up.  
• Make sure you pull weeds up off the path and drive, and sweep the step and pick up any crisp packets that have blown onto the lawn or poos that next door but ones cat has done on your garden (grr norty cat).  If people don't like the front of your house, they going to make their mind up they don't like the rest of the house before they even go inside.
• Don't do all them tricks like putting a loaf of bread in the oven or making fresh coffee.  People is not fooled by that sort of thing, they would rather smell a nice fresh air freshener smell.   We does open all the windows for a few hours before then close them just before people arrive, light a few decorative candles, nothing too stinky though and spray a air freshener called clean linen in every room.  It just smells clean not overpowering.  
• Them say take all family photos down and hide all your knicknacks.  We don't entirely agree.  We has a few family photos up cos they look nice and is in nice frames and we has a few ornaments.  Mummy did put her huge collection of basset crap in the attic but her still has her favourite basset crap on the mantelpiece.  
• When you show people into your house don't be super friendly, them will think you is desperate.  You have to be nice but professional.  When they have finished the tour then ask them if they want to look round on their own while you go in the garden.  If they is still there after half an hour it OK to offer them a cup of tea but don't offer them one when they arrive.  They is coming to look at the house not be entertained by you.
• Don't talk about money, that is the estate agents job.
• Show them into the nicest room first and open the door and let them walk in first.  
• Don't say obvious things like this is the kitchen.  Point out any period features or things you did to the house, like a fireplace or things that are included in the price like the cooker or dishwasher.
• Don't talk about DIY disasters or tell them about things that are broken.  Better to mend them things yourself then you don't need to worry about them.  People will knock you down for far more than the cost of repairs.  Like if a carpet is threadbare and will cost about £300 to replace then you should do it because people will try and knock much more off the price because of it.
• Don't slag your neighbours off or the area or schools, try and think of something nice to say about these things if they ask - but don't tell lies.
• Try to get people to come and view the house at a time when the street is normally quiet.  Between 9 and 3 on term time weekdays is good or Saturday morning.   But on the other hand try and be as flexible if you can.  The most we have ever put anyone off coming to view the house is 2 hours, we try and make ourselves available at all times.
• Try and keep the house show house tidy at all times.  It's hard when you've got a family and pets but you should really be aiming for it to take no more than 2 hours between a viewing being arranged and the house being ready to accept them.
• Be ready to show the house half an hour before the people are due.  If they come early or if you are running late you don't want them coming in to the hoover still plugged in and the floor still wet from mopping and you hot and sweaty in jogging pants.
• If you've got animals that shed hair then don't let people take their shoes off when they come in, unless they do it automatically - they will think you're very weird if you tell them to put their shoes back on.   No matter how well you hoover you will still miss some hair and when the people get back home they will notice hair on their socks and think your house must be dirty.
• If you changed rooms around to weird things then change them back, like if you turned your dining room into a kids messy room or office then change it back to a dining room.  
• If a bedroom is double sized then put a double bed in it, or push two singles together to show the room is big enough to put a double bed in.
• Set your price realistically.  Get valuations from 3 estate agents.  You don't have to go with the price that they suggest, so go with the one you think will  be best for you but choose the price that you are happiest with.  Don't go too high, people do like to barter but if it's too high for the area and type of house then people won't put it into their search criteria on rightmove/zoopla etc.  And don't go so low that you're not willing to negotiate.   Everyone likes to think they have got the best deal so they will always offer lower than you are asking.
• Replace any broken lightbulbs, inside and outside the house. 
• Redecorate with neutral colours, it will make the rooms look bigger.  Bright colours or patterns might put people off.  Paint all woodwork gloss white.  Repaint the front door and garage in a classic gloss colour like Black, Oxford Green or Buckingham Blue.
• Mow the lawn.
• If you have too much furniture in a room or furniture that is too big or the wrong style for a room then take it out.  Put it in the attic or in storage somewhere if it is stuff you are going to want in your next home.  If you won't use it again then sell it or take it to the tip or the charity shop.
• Declutter.  Get rid of any old toys, books or general bricabrac that you don't need.
• If you have more than one car in your household then park one on the drive and one in the garage.  If you haven't got room in the garage then park round the corner.  If there is nowhere to park other than your drive or the spot outside your house then park all your cars round the corner and look out for them arriving and direct them into your drive.  If the viewer can't park directly outside your house then they won't want to buy your house.
• Get the patio furniture out and clean the cobwebs off.  The outside of the house should be an extention of the home so make it look like an inviting place to sit out.  Have pots of bright flowers or a hanging basket at the front of the house.
• If you haven't got a window cleaner, get one.  And either pay him to do it or clean the guttering yourself.
• If you're leaving the oven then clean it.  They won't open it if you're showing them round but if the estate agent is and you're not there then they will.

I think that's everything we learned so far.  We doesn't always practice what we preach.  Once the people turned up half an hour early and we dogs were still here.   And once we forgot to put the step ladders away and there was a set of rusting paint splattered step ladders on the landing when they came upstairs!  And another time Mummy went to the bathroom after the estate agent had shown someone round and noticed there was hair all over the floor where she'd forgotten to hoover.  We don't know if these things were enough to stop the people buying but they didn't buy anyway.

Carly's birthday. By Bessie

It's Carly's birthday today!  Her is big 4.

We bought her a squeaky basset and I got a squeaky doxie and Lotty got to chew a nylabone cos she doesn't really play with stuffies.

And Tiger, Ruby and Mabel sent her a beautiful pink blankie with her name embroidered on it and some treats and a sticker for our car that says basset taxi.

I'm not feeling hormonal or anything but SHUT UP. By Sam

A list of things that made me cross in work today.  In no particular order:

1.     Everyone in work always leaving the toilet seat up.  I don't want to look at and definitely not touch the dirty rim.  I don't even want to say the word rim.  It makes me shudder.

2.     Having to get up and shut the door to the warehouse so many times I kept a tally in the end.  I got up 13 times between 8.30 and 2pm to shut the door.  The door should stay closed to keep the dust out of the office.  Why am I the only person who understands this?

3.     Trying to go to the toilet 3 times and finding someone else in there each time.

4.     Being laughed at when I said NO I haven't got time to do my own job because I'm too busy doing everyone elses.  IT WASN'T A JOKE.

5.     Having to rip the lid of my microwave dinner off with a fork because the easy peel lid didn't come off.

6.    Chicken Supreme being too sloppy and sliding off the plate.

7.     Sellotape going all weird and not fitting on the dispenser so I have to take it off the dispenser and cut it with my teeth.

8.     Going upstairs to my quiet place for a bit of peace and finding 3 chocolate eclair wrappers, an empty packet of space raiders and an empty bottle of chocolate milkshake on my desk.

9.     Being followed upstairs to my quiet place to be given a phone message that wasn't important enough to interrupt me and having to get up and close the door afterwards (see No.2)

I've completely forgotten what I was going to say. By Bessie

I just did think ooh I'll go and write all that in my blog but now I have forgotten it all.  I blame my typist for drinking wine.  She knows she shouldn't drink wine.

Today Mummy made sundaes for pudding.  Not ice cream sundaes, much to the minihumans disgust.  It was honey and pecan granola, cold custard, mango yoghurt and raspberries with cherry syrup.  It did look nice but them did not share with me.  So I waited til miniesthuman got up to make a drink and I climbed up and stole his chair.  Then Lotty jumped up and tried to lick the table and Carly growled at her.  Then Carly climbed on a chair but her was silly and tried to sit on the table so Daddy said she had to sit on the floor cos she was being unhygienic.

This morning Lotty cocked her leg up and weed up the fence.  That is not normal girl behaviour if you ask me.

The postman brought Tiger's present for Carly but we was out so them took it to the post office and we has to get it tomorrow.  Carly very excited for her birthday.  Her has finally stopped being sick so her can have birthday tea and cake.

Daddy is watching football.  Daddy normally watches football in a different room but for some reason he came into the room where we were watching telly and turned over to football.  I don't know why he did that.   He must have thought we wanted to spend some "quality time" with him.  We didn't...not watching football anyway.  And he keeps talking to us about the football.  Mummy has given up pretending to be vaguely interested and is ignoring him completely.  Her doesn't need to know if the ref is blind or if anyone is cheating.

No cheese Gromit? Not even any Wensleydale? By Bessie

We was not sick in the night.  Mummy took a sick bowl to bed just in case but we was OK.  In the morning we had our breakfast then Mummy took the minihumans to school and college then her went to Tesco to do the food shopping.  But all the fridges and half the freezers was broke so there was just lots of people wandering round with empty trolleys wondering what they could make from potatoes and tinned vegetables.

Then she come home and we went for a walk.  We only went for a little walk cos me is still not feeling 100%.  Then we went for a nap and Mummy did do some jobs round the house and then Carly was sick but luckily Mummy caught it with the sick bowl.  

Then Mummy went to pick the minihumans up and take them to the opticians to get their new glasses.  And they went to see if there was any food yet in Tesco but the fridges and freezers was still broke.

Then they come home and we had tea and we watched some telly.

Mummy said do you like her new glasses?

I made this today.  This is a photo of miniesthuman's bedroom floor right now.  Less the piece that Lotty ran in the garden with.

Sick sick more sick and poo. By Bessie

Me and Lotty has been very poorly.  Lotty started being sick in the middle of the night on Friday.  Her was sick all over the bedroom floor three times and when Daddy went in the bathroom to get some paper to clean it up she followed him in and sicked all over the bathroom floor (Mummy said she wanted him to hold her ears while she sicked in the toilet).  Then after they cleaned all the sick up she was just pacing round the room all night and they kept taking her out to the toilet but her just came back inside then wanted to pace again.  Then she did two wees and a poo on the bedroom floor.  Mummy didn't get a wink of sleep all night cos she was listening to Lotty and taking her outside every half an hour.

She must have eaten something at agility training or something cos that was the only place she had been.  She's always rifling through the bark looking for something and there's loads of dogs and horses been there before her.

Saturday afternoon we had a viewing so the humans spended all day cleaning the house.   Mummy gave Lotty a little bit of kibble for breakfast but she sicked it up all over the decking and Daddy had to hose it down.  When the people came to view the house we had duvets and bedding all hanging up all over the house and a bazillion candles and air fresheners to disguise the smell of sick.  The minihumans took me and Bessie for a walk half an hour before the people came.  Mummy said Carly could stay so she could blame the funny smell on her but she didn't want people knowing three dogs live here.  Only as they opened the front door and was walking up the path a car drove past really slowly with people peering at the house.

"THEY'RE HERE!"  Daddy shouted.  "NO WAY" said Mummy,"it's too early".  So she did rush round trying to hoover the dog hair up and hide all the washing but then they did knock on the door and Mummy and Daddy had to show them round the (slightly) messy house.  The lady did say at one point that her daughter had loads of dogs so me think that was her saying yes I did see all your stinking houndies.

Anyway they probably hated the house.  Everyone else seems to. *sulks*

After they gone we come back from our walk and we went upstairs to have a nap and Mummy heard retching and checked but Lotty was asleep and she thought it was OK but then I did sick all over the clean on duvet.  So her pulled it off and put it back in the washing machine.  Then I did sick all over the kitchen, then I went outside and sicked all over the decking twice, then I sicked on my bed and at the same time Lotty started being sick by the front door but ran right through the house so there was a trail of sick all the way through.  Daddy and Katie was eating icecream from the icecream van so Mummy had to clean it all up herself.

We wasn't allowed any tea and Carly didn't have any either just in case she was about to start sicking too.  And we wasn't allowed to go upstairs or in the lounge cos Daddy said we would sick on the new carpet.  So Mummy spent the entire evening sat in the kitchen with us listening to everyone else watching dr who and x factor in the other room.  Her was not happy.  Then her did have a migraine from not sleeping the night before so she went to bed early and we was left in the kitchen.  We have never been left alone.  We was not happy.  We did bark and howl and bark and bark and bark but them did not give in like they normally do.  And we spent the WHOLE night on our own in the kitchen.

Mummy came down at 7am and she said we was very good girls because we had not weed or pooed and there was only one teeny sick on my bed so she put my bed - what she had already washed once - in the washing machine and we went outside for a wee.  Then Mummy went and woke Daddy up and said if we get up early we can have a nice day out.  Him said "mmm good idea" then he went back to sleep.  So her pulled the duvet off him and dragged him out of bed.  Then her went into the minihumans and said who wants to climb a mountain?  Of course the two biggest minihumans said no way but miniesthuman said yes so we did get in the car and go for a drive to find a mountain to climb.  I was sick in the car once so the humans did stop and clean it up.

When we did get to the mountains they was all very high and it looked cold at the top so we decided not to climb a mountain after all.  So we went to a country park in the Brecon Beacons instead and went for a nice walk.  We was walking through the woods when we heard a big deep WOOF.  "I know that noise" said Mummy and we did all stop and sniff the air.  Then we walked for a bit and we saw a boy basset.  "AHA" said Mummy "we heard you coming".  So we went over for a chat, like you do, then we did go back to the car and comed home.

Miniest human's first day at bigbig school. By Bessie

Miniest human did have a very good first day at bigbig school.  Him said he made new friends and he liked the school and he didn't get told off not even once.  So far so good.

Middle minihuman got her first day back in school today, her has been homeschooled since April so Mummy more worried about her.

The uniform shop just rang and said the blazer is ready to collect.  Mummy could have been norty and gone down there and got a free spare one but her is too honest.  Her said there is enough people out there trying to cheat the system without her joining in, so she told them she picked the blazer up on Monday.

Getting home and ripping my bra off. By Sam

Don't you just love that feeling when everyone is home for the evening, all meals cooked and washing up done and you can just take your uncomfortable bra off and flob out on the settee?  I live for that moment.

So I got up nice and early to do all my errands but after I'd made the bed it looked so cosy I couldn't resist getting back in.  Anyway I was tired, I didn't get much sleep last night.  Lotty got up to go to the toilet and didn't make it to the door, then Carly was sick all over the place, then there was a mosquito buzzing round and Johnny was making a noise like a submarine was docked up his nose.  So I went back to bed for an hour... ok maybe 2.

Then I phoned the school uniform shop to see if Bryn's blazer was ready but it rang and rang and eventually cut itself off.  So I phoned school to explain why he would be starting without the proper uniform but she said I needed to explain to the head of year, and to see where I could buy a PE top and they said the people from the printers were there today.  So we got dressed ready to go and get one but then the phone rang and it was the estate agents asking if someone could view the house on Saturday.  Saturday is perfect for me.  This one is actually in a position to buy so hopefully not just a nosy bitch like the last one.

So we went down to school and picked up Bryn's PE top and paid for Katie's but I can't get it yet cos they have to be house colours and we don't know what house she is yet.  The printers said to phone when we know and they will deliver one to school for us, which was very decent of them I thought.   Then I phoned the school uniform shop again while I was there and got through this time.  The blazers are not due in til at least Friday but she promised to have a look if they had any plain ones they could embroider for me and ring me back.  I didn't hold my breath though, they told me the same thing on Friday and I never got a call back.

So we went off to find the secretary who said she would let the head of year 7 know not to give him a detention for not having the right uniform and then we went to Tesco to get some dog food.  While we were walking round the girl from the uniform shop rang back and said they had found a blazer in the stock room and could I come in as late as possible today so we got the dog food and packed lunch foods and went into town.  I remembered to park in the free car park this time.  Town is officially crap.  Every time we go there are more shops shut down and replaced with discount shops or just boarded up.   Bryn remembered he had no belt so we went to look for one.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to buy boys belts on their own?  I found loads attached to trousers and one elasticated one that was bright yellow and had spongebob on it but I wasn't sure that was suitable for school.  Eventually found one in M&S.  The shop was packed...again. Every other customer in there was asian and they were all shouting at each other and at the staff because nothing was in stock.  Now I know I look like I left it late picking school uniform up at 4.50 the day before school starts but at least I had a good excuse, we only just found out what school our kids are going to.  I can't believe all those people were in the same situation.  Anyway lucky for us our blazer was ready so we got out of there and left them to it.

We were walking back to the car when I saw a £20 note on the floor outside the bank.  So I casually bent down to tie my shoelace and put it under the blazer.  Not wanting to look at it just in case it was a joke note and some kids were watching us.  Yes, I used to do that all the time.  That and the glueing 10p to the floor trick.

After we had walked a reasonable distance I checked and it was the real thing.  Hurray.  Tom texted me this morning to tell me he found a tenner outside college.  What's the chances?  God must have been smiling on me today.  So Katie and Bryn insisted we go to Costa Coffee and have a celebratory milkshake.  Well I could hardly refuse, it wasn't my money.  Remind me never to order a iced latte again, it just tasted like cold coffee.  Not nice at all.

We'd just got in when the phone rang and it was the deputy head from the school telling me what house Katie is in.  Typical, just after we get back from going to all the places I could have got her tie and PE top from.  Never mind, will have to go back again after work tomorrow.  He said he had tried to phone earlier but I didn't answer my mobile, so I checked and I did have a missed call earlier but I had assumed it was from the uniform shop.  Turned out when he had been trying to phone me I was in the school hall picking Bryn's top up.  He must have phoned from the office next door.  So I had a look at my phone to see why I've never ever had a answerphone message and realised I had messaging turned off so I set it to divert all missed calls to our home number instead so they can leave a message there.  John said that was stupid and it probably is but ho hum.

Then I made salmon wellington for tea.  It must have smelt great cos Bessie spent the entire evening sitting by the table barking.

Our auction. By Bessie

Piano Bar Auction click here

My friend George has organised this really great auction to raise money for his and my favourite charities; Little Angels Staffy Rescue and Basset Hound Welfare.  Every penny raised will be split 50/50 between them.

There are loads of really nice things in the auction so please register and have a look, it only takes a minute to register and you might just pick up some really good bargains as well as helping doggies in need.  You might even want to start your christmas shopping.

Our very busy week. By Bessie.

What a busy week it has been.  Me needs a week in bed to recover.

On Tuesday Mummy went to work and the minihumans stayed home and we went down the village and got Mummy's tablets from the chemist and took miniesthuman for a haircut.  Then Mummy took the minihumans to see their new school and then she took miniesthuman to his friends house for his birthday sleepover.  Then Mummy and Daddy cleaned the house cos someone was coming to view it on Wednesday.

On Wednesday Mummy was in work again so the minihumans hoovered the house and hid all our beds and sprayed smelly spray round the place in case the people coming to view the house don't like our houndy smell.  Then Aunty Sally brought miniesthuman home from his sleepover.  Then we did go for a walk and Katie let the estate agent in and then he showed the people round and our humans didn't even see them.  Then after the people had gone we came home and we did have a sleep.

On Thursday the lady phoned from the estate agent to say the people didn't like the style or layout of our house.  We think that is a stupid and mean thing to say.  They could have worked that out before they came to see it.  We think the person had no intention of buying our house, we think she is someone who is selling her own house and wanted to check out the competition and make us feel bad cos our house is horrid.

On Friday Lotty went to agility training and she was dead good at it and went on the very high beam and through the floppy tunnel and the weave poles and over all the jumps and she got snossijs for treats.  When they came home we all got to share the rest of the snossijs.  Then the humans went out to buy school uniform.  But they did not do very well.  First of all Katie said she knew where the school uniform shop was but she didn't really and them did get very lost and them stopped to check the address on Mummys phone but her phone is a bit broke and she couldn't get any signal.  So they drived round a bit more and just when Mummy was saying they has to give up and go home then Katie shouted THERE IT IS and they was driving past the shop.  So they did drive round the block a few times looking for somewhere to park and then they went to the shop and it was nice and quiet and there was only one other customer and  Mummy asked for the uniform but the shop only had girls tops left and they said they wasn't getting the boys in til next Friday.  Mummy said but school starts on Tuesday so the girl said they would have to try the other school uniform shop in town.  Then Mummy said have you got the next size up?  And they did, they had one left but then this other woman picked it up and Mummy could have argued with her but her boy might be in minihumans class so Mummy left and they went into town.

When they got to the uniform shop in town there was so many people in there that you actually couldn't move so my humans joined the queue and waited for EVER.  Then Mummy asked for the uniform but they didn't have any either and they said it was due next week but she didn't know what day so Mummy paid for it and they said they would ring.  So miniesthuman will be starting school without his full uniform.  *sighs*

Then they went to buy pencil cases and pens and white trainers but they couldn't find any so they went back to the car and realised they had accidentally parked in the only car park in town that charges so Mummy had to pay £3.50 to get out and then they went to Asda and they didn't have anything either so they went to TK Maxx and they found some white trainers.  Hurray for TK Maxx.  Then they went to Tesco and found pencil cases and new look for a school bag, only they didn't have the one Katie wanted so she got a different one instead.

Then Daddy and Tom came home from work and College and looked after us.  In the meantime the other humans went to the opticians.  Them do all need new glasses.  Them picked their new glasses and they came home and we had tea.

On Saturday Daddy painted all the doorframes cos Carly bashed them all up with her cone and Mummy and Tom took us for a walk and the minihumans went round to their friends house for the day.

Today, Sunday, we went to the basset club fun day.  We had a great time.  We had a go on the agility and we entered the fun dog show.  Carly came 4th in Miss World.  Lotty and Bryn came 2nd in 6 legs and the sausage race and we won the fancy dress.

And Lotty stole Kristen's hotdog so Mummy bought her a new one.  And we got to eat loads of snossijs and bonios but we was good and we didn't sick in the car.