In which my humans view some houses and Mummy loses her rag. By Bessie

On Friday we had some people come to view the house.   Them stayed for half an hour and they asked millions of questions and wanted to look at everything.   The estate agent phoned on Saturday to tell us they liked the house and them is deciding between ours and another one and will let us know on Monday.   Typical the other one is in the same street in that awful village that the people who made the low offer want to live in.   It do make us laugh a lot to know that our road must be our villages equivalent to that road.   And the people who live there think they is so special haha.

Anyway while Mummy was showing the people round the house Tom and Bryn took us for a walk round the village.   It was raining and we got very wet and very cold.   When we came home Mummy got a massive sleeping bag out of the drying machine.   It was all soft and warm so we had a sleep.

Yesterday afternoon Mummy, Daddy, Katie, Cerys and Bryn went to view three houses.   The first house they went to the estate agent had told them the house was empty and him would meet them there.  So them pulls into the drive and there's a car but it not look like an estate agents car.   It very old and very dirty.   So Daddy say him think something wrong.  So Mummy goes to the house, her looks in the car as her walks past and it got a dog cage in the back and is just full of rubbish; old pop bottles and dirty socks and weird stuff.   And there's wellies and childrens toys scattered all over the front step.   Her think this is very strange for an empty house.   So her knocks on the door and this man, who is definitely not an estate agent, answers and looks at her strangely.
Mummy:   "We've come to view the house"
Man:        "No"
Mummy:   "Yes, we're meeting Matthew from Davis here at 3.15"
Man:        "No"
Mummy:  *sighs* "Is this house no longer for sale?"
Man:        "I don't know, I'm renting it"
Mummy"  "Oh.   OK.    There must be some mistake.   Sorry to bother you.   If Matthew from Davis turns up, tell him we've been and gone."

So they get in the car and drive round the corner and Mummy phones the estate agents:
Mummy:   "We were supposed to meet Matthew at a house at 3.15 but when we got there he was nowhere to be seen and the person in the house knew nothing about it."
Lady:       "No, he's waiting for you at the bungalow."
Mummy:  "No he's not cos I can see the house from here and he's not there."
Lady:       "2 bedroomed bungalow in *insert name of village here*?"
Mummy:   *sighs*   "No, 6 bedroomed."
Lady:       "We don't have a 6 bedroomed bungalow."
Mummy:  "Well you must have cos when I went on rightmove and clicked phone agent this is the number it rang".
Lady:       "Lemme have a look".....5 minutes later....."That's on with our Caldicot office, you've rung the Newport office."
Mummy:  "I rang the number on rightmove."
Lady:       "No it says ring *******, that's the number for Caldicot."
Mummy:  "That's the number I rang."
Lady:       "let me try"..... 2 minutes later...."Oh yes, it comes through to us.   How strange.  Anyway, that's not our house.   Do you want to view the 2 bedroomed?"
Mummy:  "Not really, I've got 3 children in the car."
Lady:       *to someone in her office* "Can you tell Matthew the lady has cancelled the viewing at 3.15."
Mummy:  *crossly*  "I haven't cancelled.   I'm outside the house I wanted to view.   It's not my fault rightmove have got the wrong number listed."
Lady:      "Do you want to me to put you through to the Caldicot office so you can make an appointment to view the house?"
Mummy:  "No, it doesn't matter.   It looked pretty shabby anyway."

So them has 40 minutes to kill.   It not worth going home.   It not enough time to go to Costa Coffee (No Katie it really isn't).    It not enough time to go to Subway (No Bryn it really isn't).   So them go to the house but Mummy say Daddy shouldn't sit outside and wait cos if they is anything like Mummy that would freak her out.  So them go and sit in the pub car park for a bit.   But then Katie starts being all silly like she does when we're waiting for Tom on a Thursday afternoon.   She says she needs a wee, she's hungry, she's thirsty, she's bored.   In the end Daddy gives her a pound and tells her to go in the pub and buy some crisps and then use the toilet.   So all the minihumans get out the car.   Then Daddy says to Mummy that them probably won't be allowed in on their own and Mummy should go with them.   But Mummy too cold to get out the car so her say her can't go in a pub on her own cos people will think she is a prostitute.  So Daddy does a big sigh and goes in the pub.
Daddy:     "Do you have any crisps?"
Lady:       "We don't sell any bar snacks sorry."
Daddy:    "Oh...erm... what kind of things do you do here?"
Lady:       "On Monday we do karaoke and on Tuesday we have a quiz and on Wednesday..."
Daddy:    "To be honest they just need the toilet."
Lady:      "Go on then."

Then they got back in the car and Daddy asks for his pound back.
Katie:     "I dropped it down the toilet."
Daddy:   "No you never, can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I dropped it down the urinal"
Daddy:   "They don't have urinals in the ladies.  Can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I know that now.   That's where I went wrong."
Daddy:   "Can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I dropped it in the sanitary bin."
Daddy:   "No you never."
Katie:     "It got stuck in the tampon machine."
Daddy:   "Don't say tampon in front of Bryn."
Katie:     "It got lost in my pocket lining."
Daddy:   "Can I just have my pound back?"
Katie:     "No.   I lost it."
Mummy:  "GIVE HIM THE BEEPIN BEEPIN BEEPIN BEEPIN POUND BACK BEEPIN NOW YOU BEEPIN BEEPIN LITTLE BEEPER"
Katie:     "God calm down.   You only had to ask."

At which point Katie gave Daddy his pound coin back and it was time to go and see the house.   So the estate agent is waiting outside.   A different estate agent from a different company.   he is in a suitable estate agents kind of car and has got the right house.   My humans do think things is looking up already.   The house looks very nice, much bigger than it looks in the photo.   The estate agent knocks on the door and they all waits...and waits... and waits.   So he knocks again, louder.   And they wait...and wait....and Mummy and Daddy tell them what happened at the last house and he tells them how he had appointments booked all morning from 9am to 12pm and not one of the people viewing the houses turned up.   We do think that is terrible and very rude that people would make appointments and just not turn up.

Anyway eventually him knocks REALLY REALLY hard and this old lady answers the doors and says "Is the bell not working?"   And he lies and says "Yes, I rang it three times".

The house is lovely.   It very neat and tidy and smells clean, this makes a nice change.   And there is millions of cupboards.   My humans have a good look around and then it is time to go to the 3rd house.   them is meeting the same estate agent so him speeds off first in his speedy boy car.    On the way them do say they like the house but they think it a little bit far out of town and they is concerned that it be expensive to heat cos they has an oil boiler and no gas mains out there.   But them say them would still consider the house if the dream cottage got sold.

And so on to the dream cottage.   Even though them has already viewed it before them decided them wanted to come back cos it had been so long, 11 months to be precise that them had forgotten lots of things about the house and them wanted to be absolutely sure this was the house of their dreams.

The cottage did not disappoint.  It was even more perfect than they remembered.   Every room seemed bigger.  Even the kitchen which Mummy had said originally she definitely would have to have replaced immediately, even that looked nice and Mummy say other than the worktops which she would change, her did like it.   And them all said them could totally imagine themselves living there.   Them stayed for ages, the lady who lives there, Marion was so lovely again and offered them all drinks and my humans could quite happily have snuggled down on the settee and had a cup of tea but the estate agent was hovering by the door hopping from foot to foot so them said they better go and them all left.

Mummy and Daddy say this is the house.   Even if they get a low offer on our house they will just make a low offer on this one before they say no.   And them might even consider making the budget slightly bigger if they have to just so they don't lose it.

So we has our pawsies crossed.   That's all we can do.

Little clever clogs. By Bessie.

Me just wanted to say quickly before me goes to bed; me is very proud of my minihumans.    Them teachers all said such nice things at parents evening and them is so clever and talented.

Who said it had to be healthy? By Sam

Steph very kindly gave me a voucher code for a free Graze box so I went on the website, crossed out all the stuff I definitely don't like or can't eat and asked for a surprise.  When it came I was a bit disappointed in the size.  It was a lot smaller than I expected.   In the four compartments I had:
BBQ pistachios.  They were really nice.
Mini garlic breads and breadsticks.   They were nice too.
A flapjack.   That was tasty but could have been three times the size.
Eton Mess.   I didn't like that.  I took a couple of bites then gave the rest to Johnny to sprinkle over his weetabix.

So I decided I could make my own graze boxes for a lot cheaper.   I'm thinking haribo gold bears, cocktail sausages, a pot of humous, carrot sticks and a milky bar.

YUM.

Our walk with the pack at Alfreds Tower

On Sunday we went on a long walk to Alfreds Tower.  Tom and Katie didn't want to come but Bryn came with us cos him isn't completely ashamed of his parents yet.  There was 16 houndies and Tinks.

We had only walked about a hundred yards before Lotty jumped in a ditch that was full of wet clay.  It was like quick sand and her started sinking and the more she struggled the more she sank and Mummy was trying to pull her out and thinking she was going to have to go in and save her when Lotty managed to get a hold of the bank and climbed out.  Then she spent the rest of the day with her bottom half orange and everyone laughing and saying she looked like an Essex girl.   Bryn say her is now a fake tan and white basset.

Then we seen some deer in the woods and two of the other girls ran off into the woods after them but we didn't. So we all had to wait for ages for them to be found.   One of them come back on her own but the humans had to find the other one.

We walked through a field of sheeps and baby sheeps.  We was all on leads and we was keeping away from the sheeps but then this one sheep come over with her baby and wanted to meet and greet so we did stop and say hello and the sheep mummy did kiss Lotty on the nose.  It was the cutest thing ever.

We stopped for lunch at this nice National trust place that was a courtyard with a pub, icecream shop and cafe.  The humans all had a hot choklit.  We had water and gravy bones and some crisps.   Lots of humans stopped to take our photos cos we is all so bootiful.

After lunch me was quite tired cos me is getting on a bit and after a while I did decide to sit down.  Unfortunately the adult humans was up ahead and me had stayed at the back of the pack with the minihumans; Bryn, Alfie and Molly.   The adult humans was too far ahead so Bryn did carry me and Molly and Alfie run ahead to fetch Mummy.   Mummy came back and me decided me would walk for a little bit so long as Mummy walked with me.   By the end me and Mummy and Carly was right at the back and everyone else was completely out of sight and we had to guess the way back to the car park.  I did keep sitting down and Mummy would have to carry me for a bit til I got too heavy.  It was snowing heavy by the time we got back to the car.   But Daddy had made the car nice and warm for us so we got in the back and went to sleep.

Watch the video here

I know. I'm a penius. By Sam

I put my skirt on inside out.
I ate a whole tub of cream brie for breakfast.
I lost a beta blocker on the journey between my hand and my mouth.
I lost two invoices.    Then found one in the filing cabinet and the other in the bin.

nein, ich nicht haben eine ahnung, entweder. By Bessie

Mummy's boss has got it into her head that she speaks fluent German.   She doesn't, she just knows more than other peoples in the office.  So anyway, him wants to buy some stuff from Germany so he asks Mummy to email the supplier and ask them for prices so her does.   And her gets the price and gives it to him and then him asks her to get some more information off them so her emails the Germans again.  But by the time her finishes work her not got a reply so her says her will forward all the emails to her boss so he can deal with it and her goes home.

Only her didn't tell him what her email said or what the reply said.   Haha.  Me hope him knows about Google translate.

Oh we did LOL and BOL.