In which Katie had a birthday. By Bessie

On Saturday Mummy and Katie went to visit Aunty Mic and see baby Louisa.    They put the garmin sat nav thingy in the car and Daddy said "Don't take the motorway.  It took us six hours just to get to Stoke last weekend."

So they went up the Monmouth road.  But the garmin was being stupid and only wanted to find the motorway.  Now I'm not saying Mummy is some kind of navigational genius, far from it, but she generally doesn't need sat nav to find the motorway.   The massive blue signs are normally a big clue where the motorway is.  So she ignored the sat nav and thought, it's ok, soon it will work out that we are now too far from any motorway and it will find the A49.

She was wrong.    They left the house at 8:10am.   They arrived at Brecon at 9.10am.   The sat nav spent the entire journey trying to make her turn round and go back the way they come.   So they stopped to look at a map.  But they had no road map in the car and neither of them could get a mobile signal.   So they decided as they were way too far west and with no way of navigating east without getting stuck in the mountains the only thing they could do was do as the sat nav said and go back the way they came.  So they did.  They drove back all the way to Abergavenny at which point they saw a sign for Hereford and Katie remembered that the route they needed to take took them right through Hereford.  So they took the Hereford road.   Incidentally the sat nav was still trying to get them to go back to the motorway.  If they had done this they would have ended up back at the motorway junction one mile from our house.

At 10.20 they reached Hereford.  A journey that should have taken one hour.  Not two hours ten minutes.  Anyway by this point they felt they deserved a McDonalds breakfast (I beg to differ.  You can't blame the satnav for your own stupidity).    There was something wrong with the air conditioning inside McDonalds and the noise was drilling into Mummy and Katie's heads so they took their food to the tables outside and ate while watching three children misbehaving in a car while their parents sat inside eating their food.  Strange family.

Then they drove to Aunty Mic's.  As they left McDonalds car park they got behind a truck.   It was doing an ok speed though so they were happy to stick behind it singing their lame soft rock ballads.  Mummy said it was like Thelma and Louise except nobody got to sleep with Brad Pitt and they didn't have to kill themselves at the end.    Mummy needed to put petrol in the car but as they got to the petrol station the truck pulled in and Mummy said she couldn't go after him cos she had been sat behind him for the last hundred miles and he would think he had a stalker.  So instead they limped to the next petrol station on fumes.

look what Mummy found in the petrol station

They passed a sign that said "Cats eyes removed."   Katie was horrified until Mummy told her it wasn't a warning, they weren't in Wickerman territory (they probably were though, it was Shropshire).

They got to Aunty Mic's at 2pm and had cuddles with baby Louisa.   Katie had never held a real life baby before, not that she could remember anyway.   She loved baby Louisa.    Uncle Rob couldn't remember her name and kept calling her Charlotte.  Grandad called her Isabella.

They had tea at Grandma and Grandad's and slept on Grandma and Grandad's couch.  The next day Mummy and Grandma took Katie to Manchester to buy some clothes for her birthday.    She got loads of stuff.  She got shoes and three t-shirts and two pairs of shorts and a shirt and a vest and a necklace and some badges and blue hair dye (which looks very nice and cool) and some posters for her bedroom.   And they went to the Arndale Centre which Mummy used to go to all the time when she was young but hadn't been since a few weeks before the bombings.  And they went to Afflecks Palace which Katie loved.  Mummy knew she would, it was always her favourite place when she was a teenager.   There was some funny people in Manchester.   A man who looked like a Roy Orbison tribute act in Druckers cafe.  A man selling little blow up things on a cart in the street shouting "Mickey Mouse Minnie Mouse" in a comedy accent.   (It probably was his real accent, maybe Mummy is being racist telling it like that), a busker who only knew two songs, a girl in shakeaway who put her bag on Katie's chair while Katie was getting her drink.  Then glances up and says, "You can have your chair back in a minute" and carried on rooting round in her back.   Mummy said, "Oh right, that's good of you."   By the way Shakeaway is the most amazing milkshake shop.  You can have practically anything you want in a milkshake.  Mummy had white kinder bueno with marshmallows and white choklit buttons.    Katie had something with ferrero rochers in and Grandma had a latte but she said it tasted funny.  Mummy said it was probably made with icecream too.

I'm not saying Grandma's a bad parker but she had Mummy and Katie guide her into this spot

When they got back to the car park it was £20 for parking!   £20!!!    It costs £3 in Cardiff and that's a capital city.   When they got home Grandad had cooked Sunday dinner and then they had cake and Katie had candles in hers for her birthday.

Mummy and Katie drove home and got back at about 10pm.   We was all very pleased to see them.   The boy humans had lived on McDonalds all weekend cos Daddy can't cook.  He says he can cook but he never proves it.

On Monday it was Katie's birthday.   Mummy and Daddy had to go to work.  Mummy was supposed to be off but they had done stocktake on Friday and something had gone wrong so her boss asked her to come in.   She finished at three and the minihumans asked her to meet them in Tesco cos they had gone for a walk so she went and got something for tea.  There was a Lego movie cardboard cut out to put your faces in so she made them kneel in it so she could take their photo but then Bryn tripped over and pulled the Lego thing over and the security guard got cross so they ran off.

When Daddy got home Katie opened her presents and then they went out to dinner at Red Hot World Buffet in Cardiff.    This is a restaurant that sells everything.   The humans had for their tea:  chikkin tikka, chikkin, korma, chowmein, lasagne, cottage pie, enchiladas, beefburger, bhajis, icecream and cheesecake.

Yesterday Mummy and Daddy were in work again but the minihumans took us on the field for a run about.   Today Mummy had the day off but she didn't have any money to go anywhere cos she doesn't get paid til tomorrow so we stayed home and played in the garden while she did housework.

Spotted in Tesco.

Spotted in Tesco today:
Two elderly women having a debate about how to use a door mat.
A couple parked across a pedestrian crossing in their stupid monster truck so they can put their tiny baby into a tiny baby trolley.   What about all the other tiny babies that could get run over as a result of your pointlessly large car thing blocking the crossing?
A man who was the spitting image of Mr angry pants from that cbbc programme about Nev the bear.
A woman bending over to look at flowers showing everything inside her vest.  Literally everything.  She may as well have been naked from the waist up.
An entire family in beach wear.  Newport is not a holiday town.   Granted its a coastal town but coastal and seaside does not mean the same thing.   Also they were just stood there in the frozen potato products aisle in their swimwear. I wanted some hash browns but I didn't want to have to brush against naked flesh.
A little kid with measles.  Nobody wants your spots.  Go home.

Our super lazy weekend, our friend Nelson and our baby cousin. By Bessie

This weekend Daddy, Katie and Bryn went to stay with Grandad.   Well, I say Katie did, she stayed one night then she went to her friend in Blackburn for the rest of the weekend.   Daddy, Bryn and Grandad went to an Italian restaurant for their lunch.    Bryn said he felt overdressed.  Mummy said he shouldn't worry, it's quite a novelty to see a thirteen year old in a cravat these days.  He swears he wasn't wearing a cravat.  But Grandad probably was.  In fact when they got home Mummy described the outfit Grandad wore to the restaurant and said even though it was 40 degrees out he still had an umbrella.   Daddy said he was wearing the outfit Mummy described and he did have an umbrella.  And he offered Daddy and Bryn an umbrella each and they declined.  But when they got there he took three umbrellas out of the boot and tried to get them to take one each.

Katie texted Tom and Mummy the same text.  Even though she knew they were together.  She does things like that.  The text said, "What do I order from McDonalds?"
Mummy replied with, "How should I know?   A quarter pounder?"
Tom replied with, "A MacMeat burger."
Mummy told Tom he had to phone her straight away and tell her not to order a MacMeat burger.   Tom said, and he was right it turned out, that Katie would never order a MacMeat burger anyway.  She would think it sounded disgusting.  He was right, she did think it sounded disgusting.

Daddy, Katie and Bryn were gone from Friday lunchtime to Monday evening.   This is what us houndies, Tom and Mummy did in three and a half days:

Nothing.  haha.

Well almost.  Friday we went for a walk.   Then we had tea.  Mummy and Tom had half a bag of chikkin nuggets each.  Then we watched Masterchef.  Then we went to bed early cos Mummy had a migraine.

Saturday Mummy and Tom went to Tesco and bought a bag of linguine.   Then we went for a walk.   Then Mummy did some cleaning before tea.   Then we watched a film called Bridesmaids that was really funny and now Mummy has a big crush on Roy out of the IT crowd.

Sunday we went for a walk.  Lotty rolled in fox poo.   Lotty had a bath.  We played in the garden.    Tom had a bagel for his tea.  Mummy had a baked potato.    Then we watched a film called Love and other drugs.  We didn't like it much.  

Monday Mummy and Tom went into town.  Tom went to the job centre then went to buy shoes with his friend Emily while Mummy went to buy some chinese herbs off a funny lady.   Then we went for a walk.    Then we all fell asleep on the settee and was woken up by Daddy, Katie and Bryn coming home.   They had Nelson with them.   This is the exciting bit.   Daddy met Susan's dad in Blackburn in the morning and brought Nelson the foster dog home with him.     We all had a good run round the garden and had some tea and the humans had chikkin casserole out of the slow cooker.   Then Mummy and Daddy went to a committee meeting for at the hall next door and Tom looked after us.  

Today Mummy had to go to work so Tom looked after everyone and made sure Carly and Nelson didn't fight.   She was ok, in the end she even let him lay next to her on Tom's bed.  When Mummy got back from work she took Nelson to Aunty Lesley's in Bridgend.   Katie was supposed to go with her but she forgot and went out with her friends instead.  So Mummy went on her own then she stopped at Sainsburys in Bridgend on the way back for petrol and got some snossijs for the humans tea as well.   We miss Nelson, he is cute.

In other news Aunty Mic had a baby girl.   Her name is Louisa Catherine.   We haven't seen her yet.  Mummy and Katie are going this weekend.  They were going to go on Friday but now Mummy has to work instead.  Boo to working.  Yay to overtime pay.

What the future will be like. By Bessie

At dinner last night the humans were discussing what the future of the planet will be like left in the hands of this generation of teenagers.  It started, well actually I can't remember quite how it started.  You know what these things are like, but at some point Mummy said her mother's generation worked so hard for equality and this generation of teenage girls are throwing it all back in their faces.  Which then moved onto a conversation about what the world will be like in the future.  The following predictions may or may not come true:

In the future there will be no police force as everyone will be too scared to be a grass.    Crimewatch and the news will be there just to show us how great criminals are.    For example,  "Aya welcome to the news blud innit.  Some geezer robbed the crown jewels.   Sweeeet."

Everyone will swear during conversation at all times.  Including characters in childrens tv shows.  Like the telly-f-in-tubbies.

There will be no road signs or traffic lights, if you want to go, you go.

The 150 year old Queen will still be going.  It will be acceptable for the royal reporter to refer to her as "banging" or "smoking hot".

School uniform will consist of a crop top and micro shorts.  That's for the boys and girls.

Oh I just remembered how the conversation started.  Katie said that the lower the year group in school the less clothes the girls had worn on the school trip to the theme park.  Her year, year ten, wore shorts with leggings or tights underneath and cardigans.   The year nines wore shorts and t-shirts.   The year eights wore shorts and crop tops and the year sevens came in their bikinis (or something).

Not a born chef. By Sam

I don't know if you've noticed.  But I love food.  I love eating it most but I also love watching cookery programmes.  But not those scare mongery things where they show you how things are made.  I know chicken kiev is made from beaks and bumholes mashed up into a big pink blob.  But I still eat it.

I like the food network with a particular fondness for Guy Fieri cos he's basically a big douche but he's kinda cute and he looks like he really enjoys his nosh.    Oh and Barefoot Contessa but to be fair mainly for the comedy value.   And of course Pioneer Woman, but I wish they would show the dogs a bit more.  I like the dogs.  And I like Masterchef and the Food show.  What's that fella called, the one with the really French name but he doesn't sound French at all?  I'm thinking Jean Michelle Jarre but I know that's not right.  Anyway he's nice.  Maybe he could come and cook my tea...

...Only that's where it all goes wrong.  I would never eat the stuff they cook on these programmes, well except diners, drive thrus and dives and maybe man vs food.    I like real food.  I want someone on Masterchef to dish up a big plate of mashed potatoes with lovely thick chicken gravy.     Quite frankly 6 chips served up like jenga and a piece of salmon that looks like it may have come out of one of them posh sachets for cats, well that's not going to fill anyone up is it?

And you do not turn anything into foam.  Food should not appear in front of you looking like it was coughed up by a cuckoo.

So I watch all these cooking programmes and I have a load of boards on pinterest full of recipes and bookshelves full of recipe books.  But really I just throw the contents of the fridge into the slow cooker every morning and hope something tasty has appeared by dinner time.

In conclusion you probably shouldn't come round for dinner after I've been watching the food network.   Because you're either going to get a four foot high burger or a green bean dipped in salt.  Either way you will go home with stomach ache.

How the only lady in work uses a shared bathroom

When there is only one toilet in work shared by eight men and one woman this is how the one woman goes for a wee:

Do a head count.  Do not approach the bathroom until every member of staff is accounted for.

Knock quietly in case you accidentally counted someone twice or a visitor is using the toilet.

Knock a bit louder in case that person is hard of hearing.

Tentatively try the handle with your cardigan sleeve because you know nobody else washes their hands.

Very slowly open the door with said cardigan sleeve whilst whispering "Hello."

Spray air freshener.

Flush the last person's poo away.

Flush the last person's poo away again as it really doesn't want to go.

Clean toilet with bleach.   

Clean sink with bleach.

Clean floor with bleach.

Put toilet paper on toilet seat just in case you missed a bit.

Decide not to sit on the toilet after all and hover above it.

Shout "Go away" at the person rattling the door handle.

Take toilet roll off the holder and replace it the right way round.

Throw the collection of discarded cardboard tubes in the bin.

Wash hands with soap and water.

Turn off tap, realise the last person who touched it might not have used hot water and soap so clean tap with bleach and wash hands again.

Throw paper towel in bin.  Pick up all the paper towels off the floor and throw them in the bin.

Wash hands again.

Water the plant on the window sill.

Spray air freshener because even though you have never done a poo in work ever, the person before you may have and it may still smell.

Open all doors using cardigan sleeve and exit quietly and swiftly worrying that the bathroom still smells from the person before and someone might think it was you.

Biscuits for guide dogs. By Sam

We have an ongoing dare, Tom and I, to strap a suitcase handle to a harness and wander round the shops pretending Bessie is a guide dog.    Of course we wouldn't really do it...

This morning in Tesco - by the way if you ever want to murder me just hang around Tesco at 8.30 on Thursday morning, I'm always there - I was at the checkout behind a man with a guide dog.  He wasn't a trainee guide dog, he was a fully trained guide dog.   Beautiful long haired German Shepherd.  When the man had paid and tried to move away the dog sat down and refused to move.  The man said he wouldn't move until he had a gravy bone, then he said how his friend has a guide dog too but the two dogs don't like each other, they are going on holiday together soon and it's going to be chaos.   Anyway, the dog got his gravy bone and off they went.   I saw them a few minutes later downstairs.  The man was trying to exit the lift but the dog wouldn't move without his biscuit.

I don't know why but that cheeky guide dog made my day.   Nothing will spoil my mood.  Not even being left to take all the sales calls while my colleague has his hour long morning poo.

I'm not irritable. Bugger off. By Sam

How come every time Katie goes to the toilet she takes the loo roll off the holder and leaves it on top of the cistern?  And after she washes her hands she throws the hand towel on the floor instead of putting it back on the rail?

How come John can't find the bin?  His bedside table looks like the municipal tip and the whole house is littered with old receipts, scraps of paper and bottle tops.   This morning he finished a can of shaving gel and left it on my bedside table.  Presumably cos he couldn't find his own under the mountains of spare change and receipts.

This morning I needed to do a shop.  Not a big shop, I need to defrost the freezer on account of some idiot leaving the door open last Thursday and the entire contents defrosting then refrosting and it's now full of ice.  So we will be eating weird stuff until it runs down.  Like the contents of all the freezer bags and tupperware boxes that I forgot to label.  Is this mashed banana or pizza dough?

Anyway, to the point.  I needed to stock up on packed lunch foods and cleaning products but Tom said I'm not allowed to go to Asda anymore cos every time we go there I have some altercation in the car park and someone becomes my nemesis for the day then we spend our whole time bumping into nemesis down every aisle whereby I have to make a loud sarcastic comment each time.    I don't actually remember saying, "Oh look she's in the bin bag aisle, she must be looking for a new coat."   But apparently that was to the woman in the black plastic mac who jumped in and stole my parking spot.    Sounds legit.    I do remember the incident with the woman who whacked my car door TWICE then shrugged when I screamed at her.  I think pulling Tom out of the way every time we met her in the shop and shouting, "Watch she doesn't ram you with her trolley" is perfectly acceptable under the circumstances.  I like my car.  A lot.

But I took his advice on board and we went to Lidl instead and I am pleased to report there were no altercations.  Far from it, in fact I let an elderly lady go in front of us at the check out as she only had a punnet of strawberries and a loaf of bread and she called me a nice young lady.  

So there you have it.  The moral of the story is there's a much better class of person shopping at Lidl than Asda.

Diets. And why they suck. By Sam

My boss came in to work on Thursday raving about this new diet that he had started.  He called it the 8/2 diet but we worked out he meant the 5/2 diet.   Basically, his version was that you eat whatever the bloody hell you like for five days a week and then are restricted to 500 (for a lady) and 600 (for a man) calories for two days a week, but not consecutive days.  He says his niece is on it and she has lost loads of weight and was pigging out on Chinese takeaways and McDonalds the rest of the time.    So Thursday was his fast day, or his 600 calorie day, depending on whether you think 600 calories is enough to live on.    Well, I hadn't eaten yet, since it was only 8.30 in the morning so I thought, you know what?  I can do this.  I won't think about it, I'll start right now.    I won't fast today cos I'm in work and it might give me a migraine.  I'll do it tomorrow, I've only got to go to the dentist.    So, just to start myself in the right way, I didn't eat much on Thursday.    I had a banana for breakfast, a cup a soup for lunch and a tiny plate of pasta for tea.

Friday morning came and cos I knew this was my fast day all I could think about was food.  Normally I'm not even hungry til about 10.30 but today I woke up 6am starving hungry.    I went downstairs and had a large glass of water.   Then after the kids had gone to school I had three slices of turkey ham at eight calories each.    Then went to the dentist.  Tom came and we took the dogs so we could go for a walk round the castle seeing as they hadn't been back there since we moved house.

Lying in the dentist chair my stomach was rumbling so badly it hurt and I felt sick with hunger.   I came out and the chipshop next door smelt so appetising.   But we got in the car and we drove to the castle.   Luckily there is nowhere selling food nearby, unless you count the town centre which we couldn't get near cos of the massive roadworks in the centre of town that we got stuck in for twenty minutes with Lotty whining in the back.  And anyway we moved away for a reason, I don't want to spend my spare time wandering round the town centre hoping I don't bump into anyone I don't like.

The dogs had a lovely time down the castle and we met our old next door neighbour and her dog, Bertie.  The girls were ever so excited to bump into him and we walked with them for a while.

Then we came home and it was no good.  I took two anadin extra and an imigran and ate half a turkey baguette with cream cheese and Tom and I shared a bag of fruit pastilles.   I felt so ill that evening I didn't have any dinner and went to bed at 9 o'clock.

The moral of the story is fasting is stupid.  Don't do it.  You will die.  If God wants me to be fat then I will be fat.     I told Johnny this and he said that was ridiculous and you can't blame God for all your problems.    I told him he didn't have to take everything I say quite so literally.

So you don't love animals any more? By Bessie

So after eight years Katie suddenly announced last week that she's not a vegetablist anymore.    Daddy was pleased, he said it's much easier now when we go to Grandad's.  Mummy said that was ridiculous.  She has catered for Katie every day  for eight years, it doesn't hurt Grandad to feed her twice a year.  

So the first night she said she was looking forward to tasting meat again and she wolfed her enchiladas down.  Mummy didn't like to tell her that she was actually eating quorn.  We have a freezer drawer full of it, someone has to eat it.  Anyway as soon as Daddy realises he's eating quorn he suddenly decides he's not enjoying his dinner anymore.  So Mummy usually just pretends it's chikkin.     Everyone loved the quornish pasties she made the other day, I don't think they have realised yet.

Mummy is finding it harder to adjust to Katie not being a vegetablist than Katie is.  Katie is all like "Raaar meat."  And Mummy is still checking the labels and trying not to store meat and veggies near each other in the freezer.   Like yesterday they were in Poundland and Katie was looking at the haribos and Mummy told her she couldn't eat them.  Katie said she wasn't anymore, Mummy said as a recovering vegetarian she shouldn't be stuffing her face with meat or she'll get sick.

So I guess Katie doesn't like animals anymore?   Not once in her list of pros and cons did she mention the animals.  Maybe we need to take her to see some pigs going to market to remind her.   I wouldn't mind but right from the start she was a really good vegetablist.  Not one of them pictothingies who still eat fish but pretend to be vegetablists (fakers).   She never had fish or cochineal or anything she shouldn't.    Oh well, it was her decision to be a vegetablist and her decision to not be a vegetablist.   Maybe I could become a vegetablist?  Someone has to eat all the soya mince.

30 bassets and Molly the Superdog invade Llanwern

So I can't remember if I told you about Ruby but just in case, the other week we got a call from an animal charity to say there was a Basset in a pound in Yorkshire and if she wasn't given a rescue place by 6pm then she was going to be put to sleep.  This was 4pm.  Mummy didn't hesitate, she said tell them she's safe, we will get her.   Even if it meant we got in our car right now and got drove to Yorkshire we wasn't letting her get put to sleep just cos the pound was full.  So the lady phoned the pound and said we would pick Bella (for that was the name the pound had given her) up in the morning.   But then at 6.30 we got a call to say there had been a mistake and Dogs Trust had been in to the pound but they only had three rescue places and they had accidentally been given our dog.   Well we tried to phone the pound and Dogs Trust but nobody was answering cos it was too late and we were all ever so upset cos we knew that a healthy dog had lost that precious rescue place.    Well the next morning Miss Susan managed to get hold of Dogs Trust and explained the mix up.  As you can imagine they were as upset as we were when they realised a dog had died that needn't have and they said we could have our Bella back if we came to get her straight away so they could go back to the pound and rescue another dog.  So Miss Susan sent her friend to fetch Bella and Bella went to stay at Miss Susan's house for a while.

Couple of days before our party we found a lovely home for Bella with a lovely lady, her children and her sweet old Basset.   So we asked very nicely and some of our wonderful helpers managed to transport her all the way from Lancashire to South Wales.    I keep banging on but we don't half have some amazing people who do these things for us out of the goodness of our hearts.   So Mr Pete met Mr Tim who met Miss Rachel who looked after Ruby overnight.  At this point I need to tell you that the other Basset in her new family is also called Bella and seeing as she didn't answer to anything anyway seeing as that is the name the pound gave her then the new family asked us to start calling her Ruby.  Then Miss Rachel and Mr Martin, who were coming to stay with Martin's family near us the night before our garden party, brought Ruby to us on Friday.   Mummy called her RubyBella then changed it to Rubella then changed that to Measles.  At that point I said she had to stop.  So she did.

We all went for a nice walk to meet Katie and Bryn from school and Ruby was a good girl.  She is very confident and just joined in with our pack.   That night Ruby and Lotty slept in Tom's bed with him and Ruby slept right through.

On Saturday it was our garden party.   The sun was shining when we got up.  The forecast was for rain so we put both the gazebos up and moved the furniture in the conservatory just in case it rained later.    Then Louise came with her three hounds and Katie helped her ice the cupcakes.   We had to do a bit of quality control, just to make sure they were ok to eat.   She even brought little rice paper toppers with our logo, Daisy, on.   They were the best cupcakes ever.  Then Sam, Ryan, Aimee and Elle came at the same time as Mr John so that was another five hounds.  And then it was time for the party.   All together we had 30 bassets and Molly the Superdog.    Everyone was very well behaved though, well almost.  Lotty was embarrassed cos her boyfriend Bertie was being a bit pervy with all the girls except her.  I told her it was her own fault cos she's been in a funny mood ever since she had those two fits last week.   

After an hour or so the sky was getting blacker and blacker and then suddenly it really started raining.  There was thunder and lightning and hailstones the size of cats (maybe, small cats anyway).  We all sheltered though and after half an hour the sun came out again and it was lovely and warm and we all played on the agility course and ate our picnics.    It was lovely to see so many of our own rescue dogs at the party too; Ruby, Poppy, Snoopy, Bertie, Fred, Tonks, Flippy and Floppy.   Even Jefferson came.  He was allowed to sit on the table so he could watch everybody and we had to be careful not to jump up and hurt him.   Ruby stole Heidi's prawn sandwich and Lotty stole Cheryl's cheese sandwich.   I didn't steal anybody's sandwich.

After the party Theresa, Douglas and Poppy took Ruby back with them cos they live near Ruby's new family and they were going to take her to her new home on Sunday.   We had the best day ever ever ever and we can't wait to do it all again next year.

On Monday Bryn had his school concert.  His band played Californiacation by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.  I'm not sure this is an entirely appropriate choice for twelve year olds to play but ho hum, they were really good anyway.   Only Mummy left her phone at home so she couldn't video it.  She was so cross with herself.

Ooh I have to tell you, remember Uncle Jack?  You know, Uncle Jack.  No, me either.  Well anyway, he died in a plane crash and this bank in gawd knows where has been trying to find his next of kin.  And you'll never guess, go on have a guess.  Yep, that's right.  It's me.  All I have to do is give my bank details to this bank and they will put 5.5 MILLION EUROS in my bank.  I'm so excited.  I love Uncle Jack.  I wish I'd known him when he was alive, I bet he was a fun Uncle.  A funcle if you will.