Today we has someone come to view the house so we watch Mummy do some cleaning and then we is getting ready to go out when the estate agent phones and says the lady who came on Tuesday wants to come for another look. So we say she can come after the other peoples has gone. Then we goes out for a walk with Tom and Bryn. We meet some posh old people who say they used to have a basset and ask if they could stroke us. We say they can. We want to know how come everyone used to own a basset. Why doesn't they have one anymore?
In the meantime Mummy goes out to check for poo outside and notices it smells nasty so she quickly throws disinfectant all over the decking and brushes it.
Then the first man comes and has a look round then he goes outside and stands right in the smelly bit and mummy trying to discreetly move him back inside but he wants to talk right there. And it still stinks just as bad.
Then him say he like the house but his wife will need to see it so him might come for a second viewing.
Then after him gone Mummy go and throw more disinfectant on the decking then the second peoples come. The lady brings her two daughters. Mummy wish everybody would bring their children cos them is so easy to sell houses to. Them likes everything. Anyway the Mum asks if she can take some photos and then they goes outside and the children do play with Horace and the Mum ask Mummy lots of questions. Luckily the whole time both sets of people are here it is completely quiet in the garden, nobody angle grinding. No yapping dogs. No trampolining. But while they is in the garden that horrid smell is still there.
Then them go home and Mummy phone and say we can come home. Then her go in the garden and make up a big bucket of strong disinfectant and brushes the entire decking down. Then we come home and the humans have some lunch and we have a nap on a sleeping bag in the garden. It hot in the garden and we has a nice time.
Then Daddy come home from work and him bring Katie and Cerys. Mummy was hoping them would stay at Cerys's cos the house is too tidy for them to mess up but them wants to come home so them under strict instructions not to make a mess.
Daddy go in the garden and him say the smell is gone. We is happy the smell is gone. We fed up of Mummy brushing disinfectant everywhere. Then we has tea and the humans has some slop out of the slow cooker. Then Katie, Cerys and Lotty go to play out. When them come back Lotty still got loads of energy and her running round howling for hours. We do wish she would shut up and go to bed.
Then it's time for bed.
Friday 31 May 2013
Tuesday 28 May 2013
In which someone steals a hotdog but it's not Bessie this time. By Bessie
On Friday Brynny went to Paris. Daddy took him to school very early and waved him off.
At 9.30 Wanda Basset come to the house. Mummy took us all for a walk. She said it's very hard work walking four of us but she still took us all round the castle cos we needed some exercise. Then her and Wanda went off to meet Miss Sophie at the motorway services. When they got there they went and sat on the hill what overlooked the car park cos it was very busy and she knew Miss Sophie would see them as soon as she got there. Well her did cos her come running up the hill to see Wanda. Her loved Wanda and her took her back to the car to meet her family and then Wanda went off to Devon to start her wonderful new life.
Mummy was just about to pull out of the car park when her thought her better go and have a wee in case she get stuck in traffic later cos it bank holiday so motorway might be busy. So her gets out the car just in time to see a tree trunk snap and land on a cars roof completely blocking the only exit to the car park. The car was only a few cars behind Miss Sophie's car so they was very lucky and Mummy was very lucky too that she changed her mind and didn't drive off or it could have been her.
So Mummy went to get some lunch cos her thought it might be a long wait. Then her sat in the car and she phoned Wanda's old Mummy to tell her that Wanda had gone to start her new life. Wanda's old Mummy was very happy to hear this. Them are going to live abroad so them can't take bootiful Wanda with them.
After a while the fire brigade come and pulled the tree off the car and out of the road but there was so much traffic waiting to get out the car park that it was still an hour before the road was clear. Then Mummy come home. Her got stuck in a massive traffic jam gettting on the motorway and another one coming over the bridge but amazingly her still managed to get back to school in time to pick Katie and Tom up.
Then them come home and we had tea.
On Saturday we didn't leave til 10am cos we was hoping someone might want to come and view the house but the estate agent didn't phone so we left to go on our holiday to Yorkshire. At 12.30 we was somewhere near Birmingham when the estate agent phones and says someone wants to come and view the house today. Mummy tells them we has gone away for the weekend. Them can't come anyway cos Tom is home alone with Lotty and Carly. So them arrange to come on Tuesday at 4pm. Mummy and Daddy say it just ironic, them wait all this time then someone wants to come when we is not there.
We do stop at the motorway services for a wee and then we stop at Asda in Dudley and Mummy and Katie go and buy sandwiches for lunch while me and Daddy go for a walk. Katie bringed me some snossijs, then were nice. Mummy bringed me some biskits. Them were not nice. Lotty can have them. I will take them back and pretend they is a present from holiday.
Then we get back in the car and carry on our big long journey. We don't need to stop again. I goes to sleep. There is lots of traffic and it takes six hours to get to MummyLouise and DaddyKeith's house. When we gets there I does meet and greet with Inca and Rufus. The humans is a bit worried that we might shout at each other but we is all very polite and does not growl or shout. We goes for a walk and Inca shows me her park and the tennis courts where Rufus likes to do zoomies. I doesn't like to do zoomies so I let DaddyKeith give me a belly rub instead and Katie throws sticks for Rufus.
Then we has our tea and the humans has a barbeque and drinks wine (the lady humans) and beer (the man humans). After tea the humans play board games and me and Inca and Rufus watches. I does not remember who winned the games. It wasn't me though.
On Sunday we goes to a different park for a walk and after that it time for MummyLouise's birthday party. We meets lots of new peoples but me and Inca and Rufus is all very well behaved. Well, Inca did eat Aunty Lynda's hotdog but me not tell you that cos it's a secret. I didn't eat anyone's hotdog. I was a good girl. Aunty Lynda give me lots of cuddles and Uncle Mick too my photo. Katie be the DJ at the party. Her play lots of music what is called dubstep. I think this Carly's kind of music cos she likes to go dubba dubba dubba.
When all the peoples has gone home it very late. We does all watch DaddyKeith clean up cos we likes watching people clean up. Then we goes to bed.
On Monday we do say goodbye to everyone and we promises we will come back in August and we goes to Uncle Paul's and Aunty Carolyn's house. Them lives about half a hour away from MummyLouise and DaddyKeith. My Katie and their Katie take me for a walk down the canal and then me comes back and sits on Mummy's lap and steals biskits.
Then them has lunch and talks grown up stuff. Uncle Paul and Aunty Carolyn has also been trying to sell their house for a year, them said they has had 83 viewings! 83! Imagine that.
Then it time for us to go home. We do get back on the motorway and there is loads of traffic jams and we stop at Stafford Services and the humans has a McDonalds and I has a little walk and a biskit. Then we goes home and Lotty and Carly is very excited to see us and they jump up and down and I think Tom is excited too but he doesn't jump up and down cos he is a grown up. Then even though it was ten o'clock Mummy and Daddy stayed up late cleaning the house ready for tomorrow.
Today, Tuesday Mummy and Daddy went to work and Tom and Katie stayed home cos it is half term. We have a viewing at 4pm so Mummy went in to work half an hour early so she could leave early. Tom and Katie did most of the cleaning and tidying so Mummy only had to mop the floor and hoover when she got home. Katie was very ill all day and her was sick five times. We not know what wrong with her. Poor Katie. Then we all got in the car and Mummy drove round the corner. We sat in the back and Katie went to sleep and Tom looked after us all. Mummy went back home and then Mr Geoff the estate agent come and the people come and he showed them round the house. We not know if they liked it, we can never tell. We just wait for the estate agent to phone tomorrow and tell us what the people thought. We hope they liked it.
Now we is sat enjoying the lovely clean house. We is going to have our tea soon. Then at about ten o'clock Brynny will be back from Paris. We very excited to see Brynny, we did miss him lots.
At 9.30 Wanda Basset come to the house. Mummy took us all for a walk. She said it's very hard work walking four of us but she still took us all round the castle cos we needed some exercise. Then her and Wanda went off to meet Miss Sophie at the motorway services. When they got there they went and sat on the hill what overlooked the car park cos it was very busy and she knew Miss Sophie would see them as soon as she got there. Well her did cos her come running up the hill to see Wanda. Her loved Wanda and her took her back to the car to meet her family and then Wanda went off to Devon to start her wonderful new life.
Mummy was just about to pull out of the car park when her thought her better go and have a wee in case she get stuck in traffic later cos it bank holiday so motorway might be busy. So her gets out the car just in time to see a tree trunk snap and land on a cars roof completely blocking the only exit to the car park. The car was only a few cars behind Miss Sophie's car so they was very lucky and Mummy was very lucky too that she changed her mind and didn't drive off or it could have been her.
So Mummy went to get some lunch cos her thought it might be a long wait. Then her sat in the car and she phoned Wanda's old Mummy to tell her that Wanda had gone to start her new life. Wanda's old Mummy was very happy to hear this. Them are going to live abroad so them can't take bootiful Wanda with them.
After a while the fire brigade come and pulled the tree off the car and out of the road but there was so much traffic waiting to get out the car park that it was still an hour before the road was clear. Then Mummy come home. Her got stuck in a massive traffic jam gettting on the motorway and another one coming over the bridge but amazingly her still managed to get back to school in time to pick Katie and Tom up.
Then them come home and we had tea.
On Saturday we didn't leave til 10am cos we was hoping someone might want to come and view the house but the estate agent didn't phone so we left to go on our holiday to Yorkshire. At 12.30 we was somewhere near Birmingham when the estate agent phones and says someone wants to come and view the house today. Mummy tells them we has gone away for the weekend. Them can't come anyway cos Tom is home alone with Lotty and Carly. So them arrange to come on Tuesday at 4pm. Mummy and Daddy say it just ironic, them wait all this time then someone wants to come when we is not there.
We do stop at the motorway services for a wee and then we stop at Asda in Dudley and Mummy and Katie go and buy sandwiches for lunch while me and Daddy go for a walk. Katie bringed me some snossijs, then were nice. Mummy bringed me some biskits. Them were not nice. Lotty can have them. I will take them back and pretend they is a present from holiday.
Then we get back in the car and carry on our big long journey. We don't need to stop again. I goes to sleep. There is lots of traffic and it takes six hours to get to MummyLouise and DaddyKeith's house. When we gets there I does meet and greet with Inca and Rufus. The humans is a bit worried that we might shout at each other but we is all very polite and does not growl or shout. We goes for a walk and Inca shows me her park and the tennis courts where Rufus likes to do zoomies. I doesn't like to do zoomies so I let DaddyKeith give me a belly rub instead and Katie throws sticks for Rufus.
Then we has our tea and the humans has a barbeque and drinks wine (the lady humans) and beer (the man humans). After tea the humans play board games and me and Inca and Rufus watches. I does not remember who winned the games. It wasn't me though.
On Sunday we goes to a different park for a walk and after that it time for MummyLouise's birthday party. We meets lots of new peoples but me and Inca and Rufus is all very well behaved. Well, Inca did eat Aunty Lynda's hotdog but me not tell you that cos it's a secret. I didn't eat anyone's hotdog. I was a good girl. Aunty Lynda give me lots of cuddles and Uncle Mick too my photo. Katie be the DJ at the party. Her play lots of music what is called dubstep. I think this Carly's kind of music cos she likes to go dubba dubba dubba.
When all the peoples has gone home it very late. We does all watch DaddyKeith clean up cos we likes watching people clean up. Then we goes to bed.
On Monday we do say goodbye to everyone and we promises we will come back in August and we goes to Uncle Paul's and Aunty Carolyn's house. Them lives about half a hour away from MummyLouise and DaddyKeith. My Katie and their Katie take me for a walk down the canal and then me comes back and sits on Mummy's lap and steals biskits.
Then them has lunch and talks grown up stuff. Uncle Paul and Aunty Carolyn has also been trying to sell their house for a year, them said they has had 83 viewings! 83! Imagine that.
Then it time for us to go home. We do get back on the motorway and there is loads of traffic jams and we stop at Stafford Services and the humans has a McDonalds and I has a little walk and a biskit. Then we goes home and Lotty and Carly is very excited to see us and they jump up and down and I think Tom is excited too but he doesn't jump up and down cos he is a grown up. Then even though it was ten o'clock Mummy and Daddy stayed up late cleaning the house ready for tomorrow.
Today, Tuesday Mummy and Daddy went to work and Tom and Katie stayed home cos it is half term. We have a viewing at 4pm so Mummy went in to work half an hour early so she could leave early. Tom and Katie did most of the cleaning and tidying so Mummy only had to mop the floor and hoover when she got home. Katie was very ill all day and her was sick five times. We not know what wrong with her. Poor Katie. Then we all got in the car and Mummy drove round the corner. We sat in the back and Katie went to sleep and Tom looked after us all. Mummy went back home and then Mr Geoff the estate agent come and the people come and he showed them round the house. We not know if they liked it, we can never tell. We just wait for the estate agent to phone tomorrow and tell us what the people thought. We hope they liked it.
Now we is sat enjoying the lovely clean house. We is going to have our tea soon. Then at about ten o'clock Brynny will be back from Paris. We very excited to see Brynny, we did miss him lots.
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Ooh La La. By Bessie
We has been so busy and we got a very busy weekend coming up. Nanny and Grandad came to visit. Daddy always tries to make us stay in the kitchen when Nanny and Grandad is here but Mummy say that not fair, it our house so her let us out but we has to remember not to jump on Nanny and Grandad cos them not like it.
We rehomed a basset for Basset Hound Welfare. Normally we likes to do it all ourselves but the peoples wanted to do the rehoming on a day when Mummy was in work so her let them make the arrangements themselves. Anyway this was a bad idea cos it did all go very wrong and was very upsetting. We did even think about giving up rescuing for good cos we was so upset. But anyway me will tell you more about this after the weekend. So now the basset is coming back and Mummy going to rehome her herself this time on Friday.
Littlest minihuman is going on a school trip to Paris on Friday. Him going to Parc Asterix - this a theme park about the cartoon character, Asterix, in case you not guess that. Them is going up the Eiffel Tower and on a tour of the sights and to Euro Disney. It do sound very exciting.
Then after him has gone off to Paris then Wendy the basset is coming. Then we has to take her to meet her new family. Then on Saturday we is going to stay with Louise, Keith, Inca and Rufus. We is very excited about that. It Mummy Louise's birthday so her having a party on Sunday. On Saturday we go to the pub. Then on Monday we is going to visit Uncle Paul and Aunty Carolyn. Then home, then littlest minihuman be home on Tuesday night.
Middle minihuman is helping littlest minihuman pack for his holiday. Her just brought this massive pile of clothes in that apparently all need washing for his holiday. Hmm Mummy is not impressed.
We rehomed a basset for Basset Hound Welfare. Normally we likes to do it all ourselves but the peoples wanted to do the rehoming on a day when Mummy was in work so her let them make the arrangements themselves. Anyway this was a bad idea cos it did all go very wrong and was very upsetting. We did even think about giving up rescuing for good cos we was so upset. But anyway me will tell you more about this after the weekend. So now the basset is coming back and Mummy going to rehome her herself this time on Friday.
Littlest minihuman is going on a school trip to Paris on Friday. Him going to Parc Asterix - this a theme park about the cartoon character, Asterix, in case you not guess that. Them is going up the Eiffel Tower and on a tour of the sights and to Euro Disney. It do sound very exciting.
Then after him has gone off to Paris then Wendy the basset is coming. Then we has to take her to meet her new family. Then on Saturday we is going to stay with Louise, Keith, Inca and Rufus. We is very excited about that. It Mummy Louise's birthday so her having a party on Sunday. On Saturday we go to the pub. Then on Monday we is going to visit Uncle Paul and Aunty Carolyn. Then home, then littlest minihuman be home on Tuesday night.
Middle minihuman is helping littlest minihuman pack for his holiday. Her just brought this massive pile of clothes in that apparently all need washing for his holiday. Hmm Mummy is not impressed.
Tuesday 7 May 2013
A guest appearance. By Carly and Lotty
Bessie do say we can wite a stowy in hew blog. Hewe is de stowy:
On Fwiday Gwandma and Gwandad came to bisit. On Saturday we went to Twedegar Park for a wawk. It was much colder dan de webber fowecast said it would be, we didn't stay too long. Den de humans got dribe fru McDonalds and we had a nap. We wike it when we hab bisitors cos we get to sit in de wounge. Normally we don't use dat room at all cos we wike to stand in de window and bark at people.
Den Gwandma and Gwandad went home and we had our tea and went to bed early cos some of us had to get up early de next day.
On Sunday we do get up bewy eawly cos we is goin on a wong wawk. Bessie do stay home wib Tom an Tatie cos hew say hew too old an tiwed fow a big wawk. Mummy say hew goin to miss hew Bessie but Bessie say hew not mind and hew gets in Tom's bed an goes back to sweep.
We goes fow a bewy wong dwibe in Daddy's caw to Debon. It lubbly and hot in Debon. When we gets to ouw wawk we meets de ubber bassets in de cwub. Der bees 16 bassets an 3 wikkle tewwiews an a lubbly cowwie cwoss wot wooks wike a wolf an Fewn, hew is a wikkle old beagle. Hew is bootiful.
Den we goes on ouw wawk an de man wot is weadin de wawk, not Mr Dabe, a diffewent man, him says it be kwite steep in pwaces so we do fink it a gud job Bessie not come, hew would not wike dat.
As it appens it is onwy steep in one wikkle pwace, wen we is goin down dese stone steps. Me Cawly did hab a cawwy off Mummy cos me scawed but me Wotty me not scawed. Den we orl chased Will. cawly not join in wif de chasing, hew wikes to wawk wif Mummy, me Wotty wikes a gud chase dough.
Den we stopped fow wunch. Me Wotty did steal a bonio and go do meet an gweet wif de wild horses. Me Cawly did steal a chewy stik an hawf a bag of pwawn coktail pombeaws.
After de wawk we went to de pub an had a dwink. Den we went to de beach. De fiwst beach we went to was cubbered in glass. We not wike dat beach so we say Daddy take us to anudder beach. SO we gets bak in de caw an Daddy finds a nicer beach but dat one is cubbered in pebbles so Mummy do cawwy me Cawly down to de sea an we does do paddlin in de sea. Den we does go to find a fiss an cip sop fow ouw tea but di town be too poss fow fiss an cips so we dus hab a icecweam instead an stops at McDonalds fow tea at de motoway serbices.
Wen we gets home Bessie be bewwy cited to see us an we orl habs wubbwy snuggles and hew dus cuggle up wif Mummy and we goes to bed.
Yestewday it beed a bank holiday. Dis means de hoomans habs a day off skool so we pways in de gawden an Daddy paints de fence. Bessie do get a wikkle bit of paint on hew eaw. Den Mummy an Daddy takes some pikshurs and puts dem on a memwy cawd an takes dem to de state agent. We goes too. We wawks up de high stweet and Bessie do hab 2 lies down. Den aftew we posts de pikshurs in de state agent wettew box we wawks down de high stweet an Bessie habs 2 more lies down. Den we goes to a coffee sop an we orl habs a lie down an de hoomans had a miwk shake. Den we go home an hab tea an go to bed.
Dis de end ob ouw bwog. Fank oo Bessie fow wetting us hab a go.
On Fwiday Gwandma and Gwandad came to bisit. On Saturday we went to Twedegar Park for a wawk. It was much colder dan de webber fowecast said it would be, we didn't stay too long. Den de humans got dribe fru McDonalds and we had a nap. We wike it when we hab bisitors cos we get to sit in de wounge. Normally we don't use dat room at all cos we wike to stand in de window and bark at people.
Den Gwandma and Gwandad went home and we had our tea and went to bed early cos some of us had to get up early de next day.
On Sunday we do get up bewy eawly cos we is goin on a wong wawk. Bessie do stay home wib Tom an Tatie cos hew say hew too old an tiwed fow a big wawk. Mummy say hew goin to miss hew Bessie but Bessie say hew not mind and hew gets in Tom's bed an goes back to sweep.
We goes fow a bewy wong dwibe in Daddy's caw to Debon. It lubbly and hot in Debon. When we gets to ouw wawk we meets de ubber bassets in de cwub. Der bees 16 bassets an 3 wikkle tewwiews an a lubbly cowwie cwoss wot wooks wike a wolf an Fewn, hew is a wikkle old beagle. Hew is bootiful.
Den we goes on ouw wawk an de man wot is weadin de wawk, not Mr Dabe, a diffewent man, him says it be kwite steep in pwaces so we do fink it a gud job Bessie not come, hew would not wike dat.
As it appens it is onwy steep in one wikkle pwace, wen we is goin down dese stone steps. Me Cawly did hab a cawwy off Mummy cos me scawed but me Wotty me not scawed. Den we orl chased Will. cawly not join in wif de chasing, hew wikes to wawk wif Mummy, me Wotty wikes a gud chase dough.
Den we stopped fow wunch. Me Wotty did steal a bonio and go do meet an gweet wif de wild horses. Me Cawly did steal a chewy stik an hawf a bag of pwawn coktail pombeaws.
After de wawk we went to de pub an had a dwink. Den we went to de beach. De fiwst beach we went to was cubbered in glass. We not wike dat beach so we say Daddy take us to anudder beach. SO we gets bak in de caw an Daddy finds a nicer beach but dat one is cubbered in pebbles so Mummy do cawwy me Cawly down to de sea an we does do paddlin in de sea. Den we does go to find a fiss an cip sop fow ouw tea but di town be too poss fow fiss an cips so we dus hab a icecweam instead an stops at McDonalds fow tea at de motoway serbices.
Wen we gets home Bessie be bewwy cited to see us an we orl habs wubbwy snuggles and hew dus cuggle up wif Mummy and we goes to bed.
Yestewday it beed a bank holiday. Dis means de hoomans habs a day off skool so we pways in de gawden an Daddy paints de fence. Bessie do get a wikkle bit of paint on hew eaw. Den Mummy an Daddy takes some pikshurs and puts dem on a memwy cawd an takes dem to de state agent. We goes too. We wawks up de high stweet and Bessie do hab 2 lies down. Den aftew we posts de pikshurs in de state agent wettew box we wawks down de high stweet an Bessie habs 2 more lies down. Den we goes to a coffee sop an we orl habs a lie down an de hoomans had a miwk shake. Den we go home an hab tea an go to bed.
Dis de end ob ouw bwog. Fank oo Bessie fow wetting us hab a go.
Wednesday 1 May 2013
Put them boobs away. By Bessie
Friday morning we are sat in the lounge watching out for burglars/delivery men when we seen the strangest sight walk past our window. Two women walk past in identical outfits except one is all in black so she looks fine but the other one is wearing the exact same outfit, even down to the logo on her body warmer, but every item is a different shade of pink. She looked like a summer pudding. Very bizarre. Anyway on to the interesting (in my head) stuff...
We didn't have any viewings this weekend so Mummy and the boy minihumans decide they will sell some old tat down a car boot sale. Daddy wants to work on the garden so we houndies say we will help. Katie is staying at her friends for the weekend.
Saturday morning Mummy and the boys go to the car boot sale. Tom never been to one before so he didn't know what we meaned when we said watch out for the zombies. Well, him does now. Oh him really does. Them backed the car into their spot and before they has even got out the zombies has the boot open and is pulling stuff out.
"Have you got any lego?"
"Have you got any stickle bricks?"
"Have you got any boys clothes age 7?"
"Have you got any priceless antiques that you might accidentally sell to me for 20p?"
They has to keep pushing the crowd back so they can put the trestle table up. Tom is a bit freaked out, him is hyperventilating a lot and looks scared. Mummy and Bryn do just laugh cos them is used to this zombie behaviour. Anyone who has never sold at a car boot sale before, you has to do it just once in your life. Put it on your bucket list, it's a crazy experience.
After the initial zombies have moved on to the next person it is pretty quiet after that. It's the first car boot sale of the season so not many people come and it freezing cold but them stick it out til lunchtime then they pack up the car and come home and count their pennies. Them made £24.57 after them took the £5 off for the pitch. It not going to make us rich but it money for old rope Mummy say, it not like she had anything better to do today.
Mummy and Bryn decide while they still got all the stuff in the boot they will go on the internet and find another car boot sale to go to tomorrow. The lady next door used to like one in Lydney so Mummy look and find one every Sunday morning there.
That evening at dinner Tom telling Daddy about these foam boobies what was in the dressing up box. Mummy had filled a washing basket with old dressing up clothes, including these plastic comedy breasts that her bought from poundland years ago but can't remember why. Anyway Tom was just telling Daddy after dinner how embarrassing it was that the only people that looked in that basket were little girls and old ladies and that Mummy shouls spray paint them gold and sell them as Blackadder merchandise (that will make sense to anyone who remembers the episode where Blackadder's aunty comes to stay). So Daddy says "'Ere have a look at these naughty parchments" cos it was the first Blackadder line what come into his head. And Mummy says "If you want naughty parchments you can have a go on my boobs." And then the minihumans go white and Daddy drops the washing up sponge and Mummy realises what her said and her did laugh and laugh and laugh. Nobody else did though. We just thinks her is very rude and is embarrassed.
Saturday night is Lola's hen party. We watch some boys doing dancing for us and drink lots of pink drinks and dance lots. Me can't wait for the wedding next week. It going to be the best wedding ever I think.
So the next day we stays home with Daddy and Tom. Tom say he never ever going to another car boot sale in his life, it was horrible. Mummy and Bryn goes off to find this car boot sale. Them doesn't have a clue where it is though, all them knows is it's in the car park of one of them cheapo supermarkets. Anyway, eventually after going up and down the high street a couple of times then find it in the car park of a Nisa supermarket. Well, me say IT, what me means is 3 cars with people pulling rubbish out and laying it on wallpaper pasting tables. So Mummy do go in and park up and go to talk to the people in the car next to us. Them a old couple and them say them not been here for 10 years but it used to be good but if it not good there another car boot sale in the next village what starts at 11. So Mummy and Bryn decide them will stay for an hour and if it rubbish them will pack up and go to the other one.
This is the total sum of the car boot sale: 5 cars. 3 people on foot (not even got cars or car boots) selling what looked like stolen goods to feed their heroin habits off dirty bed sheets. We does think everyone in Lydney is related to each other but not in a good way.
The whole time there was only about 10 visitors to the car boot sale and them was people what had come to shop at the crappy supermarket and was just having a nosy before them went back home. One man bought a box of crackers what we finded in the attic for £1. The man what run the burger van come over for a look and bought two bent frying pans for £1. When him walked off with them bryn was laughing cos there was a rubber casing for a xbox controller stuck on one of the handles. Him said the man proply thinks it a pan handle protector and was laughing at the thought of the man with his thumb in one end and his finger in the other thinking him has a fantastic handle holder. Mummy say well her hope him not let it get near the heat cos it will melt onto his hand.
Then Bryn go and buy Mummy and him a burger from the burger van and Mummy say the white dog hairs in her onions looks familiar and Bryn say yes that's cos the man cooked them in her frying pan and then them laughs a lot.
Then the old people next to them pack up and go to the other car boot sale and Mummy say her will come too seeing as they only made £3.50 but at least it was free to go to. Her said her would have asked for a refund if they'd been charged. So them pack up and go to the next car boot sale.
When them gets there it is amazing. It massive and people is queueing to get in. Them park up and there so many peoples milling around, like zombies but a slightly more polite version of zombies than the ones yesterday, it takes them 20 minutes just to unload the car. In the end them makes £31.80 after the £5 fee. So them is happy and them doesn't have too much to take home. Them says it was a good day out and them coming again in a couple of weeks.
Oh and Mummy sold the foam boobies. To an old lady. Her said one of her friends wore a pair once to a fancy dress party and everybody thought they was hilarious so her wanted some (me don't ask). Anyway she ask Mummy if she got a bag but Mummy say her only got pedal bin liners and the lady say anything will do and Mummy say "You just don't want to walk round with your boobs out do you?"
Lucky the lady laughs and not slaps Mummy for being so rude AGAIN.
And that's about it for the weekend.
We didn't have any viewings this weekend so Mummy and the boy minihumans decide they will sell some old tat down a car boot sale. Daddy wants to work on the garden so we houndies say we will help. Katie is staying at her friends for the weekend.
Saturday morning Mummy and the boys go to the car boot sale. Tom never been to one before so he didn't know what we meaned when we said watch out for the zombies. Well, him does now. Oh him really does. Them backed the car into their spot and before they has even got out the zombies has the boot open and is pulling stuff out.
"Have you got any lego?"
"Have you got any stickle bricks?"
"Have you got any boys clothes age 7?"
"Have you got any priceless antiques that you might accidentally sell to me for 20p?"
They has to keep pushing the crowd back so they can put the trestle table up. Tom is a bit freaked out, him is hyperventilating a lot and looks scared. Mummy and Bryn do just laugh cos them is used to this zombie behaviour. Anyone who has never sold at a car boot sale before, you has to do it just once in your life. Put it on your bucket list, it's a crazy experience.
After the initial zombies have moved on to the next person it is pretty quiet after that. It's the first car boot sale of the season so not many people come and it freezing cold but them stick it out til lunchtime then they pack up the car and come home and count their pennies. Them made £24.57 after them took the £5 off for the pitch. It not going to make us rich but it money for old rope Mummy say, it not like she had anything better to do today.
Mummy and Bryn decide while they still got all the stuff in the boot they will go on the internet and find another car boot sale to go to tomorrow. The lady next door used to like one in Lydney so Mummy look and find one every Sunday morning there.
That evening at dinner Tom telling Daddy about these foam boobies what was in the dressing up box. Mummy had filled a washing basket with old dressing up clothes, including these plastic comedy breasts that her bought from poundland years ago but can't remember why. Anyway Tom was just telling Daddy after dinner how embarrassing it was that the only people that looked in that basket were little girls and old ladies and that Mummy shouls spray paint them gold and sell them as Blackadder merchandise (that will make sense to anyone who remembers the episode where Blackadder's aunty comes to stay). So Daddy says "'Ere have a look at these naughty parchments" cos it was the first Blackadder line what come into his head. And Mummy says "If you want naughty parchments you can have a go on my boobs." And then the minihumans go white and Daddy drops the washing up sponge and Mummy realises what her said and her did laugh and laugh and laugh. Nobody else did though. We just thinks her is very rude and is embarrassed.
Saturday night is Lola's hen party. We watch some boys doing dancing for us and drink lots of pink drinks and dance lots. Me can't wait for the wedding next week. It going to be the best wedding ever I think.
So the next day we stays home with Daddy and Tom. Tom say he never ever going to another car boot sale in his life, it was horrible. Mummy and Bryn goes off to find this car boot sale. Them doesn't have a clue where it is though, all them knows is it's in the car park of one of them cheapo supermarkets. Anyway, eventually after going up and down the high street a couple of times then find it in the car park of a Nisa supermarket. Well, me say IT, what me means is 3 cars with people pulling rubbish out and laying it on wallpaper pasting tables. So Mummy do go in and park up and go to talk to the people in the car next to us. Them a old couple and them say them not been here for 10 years but it used to be good but if it not good there another car boot sale in the next village what starts at 11. So Mummy and Bryn decide them will stay for an hour and if it rubbish them will pack up and go to the other one.
This is the total sum of the car boot sale: 5 cars. 3 people on foot (not even got cars or car boots) selling what looked like stolen goods to feed their heroin habits off dirty bed sheets. We does think everyone in Lydney is related to each other but not in a good way.
The whole time there was only about 10 visitors to the car boot sale and them was people what had come to shop at the crappy supermarket and was just having a nosy before them went back home. One man bought a box of crackers what we finded in the attic for £1. The man what run the burger van come over for a look and bought two bent frying pans for £1. When him walked off with them bryn was laughing cos there was a rubber casing for a xbox controller stuck on one of the handles. Him said the man proply thinks it a pan handle protector and was laughing at the thought of the man with his thumb in one end and his finger in the other thinking him has a fantastic handle holder. Mummy say well her hope him not let it get near the heat cos it will melt onto his hand.
Then Bryn go and buy Mummy and him a burger from the burger van and Mummy say the white dog hairs in her onions looks familiar and Bryn say yes that's cos the man cooked them in her frying pan and then them laughs a lot.
Then the old people next to them pack up and go to the other car boot sale and Mummy say her will come too seeing as they only made £3.50 but at least it was free to go to. Her said her would have asked for a refund if they'd been charged. So them pack up and go to the next car boot sale.
When them gets there it is amazing. It massive and people is queueing to get in. Them park up and there so many peoples milling around, like zombies but a slightly more polite version of zombies than the ones yesterday, it takes them 20 minutes just to unload the car. In the end them makes £31.80 after the £5 fee. So them is happy and them doesn't have too much to take home. Them says it was a good day out and them coming again in a couple of weeks.
Oh and Mummy sold the foam boobies. To an old lady. Her said one of her friends wore a pair once to a fancy dress party and everybody thought they was hilarious so her wanted some (me don't ask). Anyway she ask Mummy if she got a bag but Mummy say her only got pedal bin liners and the lady say anything will do and Mummy say "You just don't want to walk round with your boobs out do you?"
Lucky the lady laughs and not slaps Mummy for being so rude AGAIN.
And that's about it for the weekend.
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