Our exciting holiday. By Sam.

You know what I love about e-readers?  You can pretend to be reading anything you like.  If someone says to me "what you reading?  I bet your reading 50 shades"  I say "yup totally am, you know me".  The truth is I have 3 books on the go at the moment, none of them are porn (sorry to be a disappointment):  

• The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot.  It's taking ages cos it's quite boring but I refuse to give up.
• Am I boring my dog?  And 99 other things every dog wishes you knew.  By Edie Jarolim.  It's a sort of self help book for dog owners.
• An idiot abroad by Carl Pilkington.  It's funny.  He reminds me of too many people.

John and I have got the week off, I haven't got many days leave left and really should be saving some in case we move but we felt like we needed some time off so booked the week off.  Couldn't really go anywhere though.  Both sets of parents and my sister are all on holiday abroad and there's no point planning to camp.  So we thought we would have days out instead.  Monday we were going to go to the beach but it was raining so John went to work instead and I took Lotty to agility training and the kids to McDonalds.  

Yesterday we was supposed to be going to the seaside for a picnic (again).  But the weather forecast was bad so we left the dogs at home and went window shopping (not for windows, that would be stupid).  As it turns out, it didn't rain, it was a beautiful warm summers day.  Perfect for a picnic at the seaside.  When we got home we decided to ignore the weather forecast tomorrow and if the sun was shining when we woke up then we would go for our picnic anyway.  Back to that story later...

...In the meantime, window shopping.  Katie got upset after seeing a tramp foraging through a bin while a load of drunk studenty types looked on laughing.  One day she is going to save the world.  Well most of it anyway, her excessive use of hairspray is probably single handedly killing the polar bears but we won't discuss that.  (Spellcheck says that's not how you spell handedly but it looks right to me so it's staying).

We went for lunch at one of them food court places that serve everything you could ask for... nearly everything.  Johnny decided he wasn't hungry, he would get something later.  Katie and Bryn had a burger king.  I went to this so called fast food chippa type place and asked for chicken pie, mash and peas.  The girl gave me a tray with a number on it and said she'd bring it over.  So after searching for the rest of the family - they had moved tables 3 times.  the first was next to the window and too hot, the second smelt of sick and the third was too wobbly - I sat and I waited... and waited... and waited.  After 10 minutes I was contemplating going and asking for a refund cos I was getting to that point where I'd gone beyond hunger and that is not an acceptable wait for fast food if you ask me.  When my food arrived.  It  was OK.  It was edible.  And I still finished before Katie.  I don't know if that is a reflection on her or me.

After lunch we went to TK Maxx and I nearly bought a princess dressing up outfit for one of the dogs (I don't know which one, any).  The basset club fun day is in a few weeks and the theme for this years fancy dress contest is best of British.  I was thinking about dressing them as Queens of England and there was a perfect dress for Elizabeth I.  It was £10 though and if it didn't fit I could hardly take it back covered in dog hair.  Believe it or not fancy dress outfits for basset hounds are not an easy task.

Anyway Katie talked me out of the dress and we decided to buy the material and make our own outfits.  We were wandering round Primark when suddenly I had a flash of inspiration.  The Spice Girls!  3 dogs, me and Katie.  Perfect!    I got most of the stuff in the sale and the rest I can make or find stuff at home.  This is what we are going to wear (pictures to follow soon):

Scary (Bess):

Leopard print scarf to make dress (£3)

Ginger (Lotty):

Union Jack scarf or t-shirt to make dress and union jack deely boppers (50p for the deely boppers, haven't found the dress yet)

Sporty (Carly):

Terry towelling shorts (flourescent yellow), sun visor and sunglasses with an elastic strap to keep them on (these I found in a big basket of tat by the fitting rooms)   (£4 for the lot)

Baby (Katie - we haven't quite convinced her to join in yet.  If she backs out then we will be the Spice Girls after Geri left and Lotty can be baby instead):

Pigtails and a pink dress

Posh (me):  

Huge sunglasses and a black dress with a dozen socks shoved down the front

Some of you might think we are weird but we are having fun so bugger off.

We were just at the till paying for our strange collection of stuff when Johnny phoned and said the car park ticket runs out in 5 minutes.  Bearing in mind we had parked about 45 minutes walk from town, he may have left it a bit late to tell me this.  So we paid and rushed out of the shop.  John ran to the car and we walked back at a normalish pace.  When he got there he was about 10 minutes late and had a fixed penalty on the windscreen.  So did practically every other car in the car park.  They must hang around waiting, miserable gits.  It was 5.30 at night, have these people not got homes to go to?  Johnny was not a happy bunny (to say the very least).

Last night we had to watch Eastenders.  I hate Eastenders, I don't watch it.  Ever.  But Johnny was bored one day last week and made me watch it with him and now I have to choose which storyline I want to see through.  I think I'll go with the Who Killed Heather story.  As soon as that's sorted I'm off again.

So anyway this morning we woke up and the sun wasn't shining but it was dry.  So I went for a shower, thinking about what I was going to make for the picnic.  By the time I came out it was absolutely tipping it down.  So naffed off.  Stuck indoors.  On our week off, I may as well have gone to work.  So here we are sat looking out at the rain and wondering what to do to entertain ourselves.  Cup of tea anybody?