Thank you Mitt Romney for making us all a little bit more patriotic. By Sam

So I was totally bored by all this Olympic talk.  Bored of sport talk.  Bored of overpriced merchandising.  You know that you can't buy anything unless it's official.  Even cake shops have been told to remove their patriotic team GB cupcakes.  No you must buy an official team GB cupcake for £2.50 (probably).  And the sight of Princess Kate in her team GB polo shirt.  Bloody hell, the Queen didn't turn up to the jubilee party in an official jubilee crown (well she could have if she wanted, that was probably a moot point but I'm on a roll).

Bored of the Olympics taking over the TV listings and it hasn't even started yet.  Bored of the opening ceremony that seems to have been designed to make us look like a nation of bumpkins.  Still, the bloke directing the whole thing also did Trainspotting so it could be a lot worse.

And then there's the disaster with the South/North Korean flags.  Well you shouldn't laugh but it was tragically funny.

By the way I interrupt this rant to say I'm watching the opening ceremony right now and been racking my brains trying to think what it reminds me of.  And it's just come to me.  EUROVISION!  You know the crappy bits they play in between the acts so you don't have to watch them adjusting their bra straps and pumping up the tyres on their unicycles.

Anyway, as I was saying... what was I saying?  Oh yes, the football last night.  Ably demonstrating why football should not be an olympic sport.  The players all pushing and shouting and squaring up to each other.  Very sportsmanlike I'm sure.

And why does Bradley Wiggin from Wiggin wear those Amos Brierly sideburns?  Maybe they are his go faster stripes?  They must work anyway.  I might get some.

(Ooh hang on, they have redeemed themselves.  SHIREHORSES!  They have shirehorses in the stadium!  I absobloodylutely love shirehorses.  I would have one as a pet and let it sleep on my bed if I thought I could get away with it...)

And there's Boris Johnson's new haircut.  Do you think he did it himself with a pair of safety scissors?  And the special Olympic lanes in London.  So to get this straight, the normal traffic is allowed to use the bus lanes and the Olympic traffic uses the Olympic lanes?  Why not save some money and make the bus lanes into the Olympic lanes?  Was that too obvious?

BUT then something happened that changed my entire outlook on the whole thing.  Mitt Romney!  I think he was paid by the Olympic committee to say all that garbage.  Cos there's nothing guaranteed to make a country patriotic than being slagged off by another country (I know he doesn't speak for the entire US nation...does he???)  Anyway I didn't half laugh when he had to meet up with David Cameron the next day.  Backpeddle?  I'll say!

So at the end of the day, I'm donning my team GB tracksuit, eating my Big Mac, the food of Olympians, washed down with a ice cold Coke, the drink of Olympians while typing my blog on my Acer laptop, the computer of Olympians.  All of which I paid for with my Visa card, the payment choice of Olympians.

Come on Team GB!