No I is not Alison flippin Vettus. By Bessie

Them peoples phoned again.  This disembodied voice (which wasn't Daddy being silly this time) said "are you Alison Vettus?   press 1 for yes, 2 for no"

So Mummy pressed 2.  And then it says "ask Alison Vettus to phone Westcott Finance on bla bla number".  so Mummy normally swears and puts the phone down at this point but she listened to the whole message this time and at the end it says "do you not know an Alison Vettus? press 3".  so she pressed 3 and this lady comes on and says "can i take your name?"  and Mummy says "no you can't but it's not Alison Vettus".  and the lady says "oh, er, right.  What number are you calling from?"  So Mummy tells her, cos they do already have our number but as a contact for this Alison woman so her thinks it OK to tell them the number.

Then the lady says "And what address are you at?"  And Mummy goes "HA like I'd tell you that".  And the lady says "it's to stop us mailing you" and Mummy says, "Don't worry, I know what address Alison Vettus lives at cos one of your representatives let slip one time and it's not this address".  And the lady says "OK I will take your number off our database now".  And Mummy says "I don't want to sound rude but will you actually do it this time please because we've been getting these calls for 2 years now and if they don't stop I'm going to report you to British Telecom and Ofcom" and the lady says "have you asked us to stop before?" and Mummy says "only about 20 times so could you actually do it this time?" and the lady says "Alison Vettus has probably got numerous accounts with us, we'll take your number off this one but we can't guarantee you won't get more calls" and Mummy says "OK but I can't guarantee we won't have this conversation again and next time I might not be so polite.  Good day to you".

So I is sure we haven't heard the end of this yet.  And if anyone does know Alison Vettus could you tell her to pay her flippin catalogue bill and stop annoying us.  I give you a clue:  She is probably quite large cos it was one of them outsize ladies clothes catalogues what used to phone all the time before they passed it on to the debt collectors and we know what street she lives in but not what number.  Mummy deliberately didn't write it down when they told her cos she doesn't want any involvement in this stupid woman's debts.