Nanny and Grandad isms. By Bessie

Any of you that have read the page Daddyisms on my blog will know, Daddy says some very silly things sometimes.  Just in case you was wondering where he got it from, here for one day only are my special guests, Nanny and Grandad:

Walking through a shopping mall:
Daddy:     "And this is Katie's favourite shop, Hollister"
Nanny (peering through the window):     "What do they sell?"
Daddy:     "Clothes and perfume"
Nanny:     "Ooh and lamps, they sell lamps"
Daddy:     "Er no, that's just a light fitting"

Looking at the computers in an electrical shop:
Nanny:     "I'm going to look at that computer over there, I want to know how much that wallpaper is"

In a busy restaurant at 90,000 decibels as a waiter with a tattoo passes the table:
Grandad:     "Ooh look that man's got a huge bruise on his arm"

In a tiny craft shop right in front of the owner:
Nanny:     "Ugh it stinks in here"

Staying at Nanny and Grandads one christmas:
Mummy:     "I need to nip out to the chemist"
Grandad:    "What do you need?  I might have it"
Mummy:     "Er no I don't think you will"
Grandad:    "I might, I have most things"
Everyone else:     "No you really won't"
Grandad:     "But what do you need?"
Mummy:     "TAMPONS!"
Grandad (shuffling off):    "No I don't have any of them"

To a customer in an Italian restaurant:
Daddy:     "Are you open?"
Man:        "I don't work here"
Nanny"     "Are you open?"
Man:        "I don't work here"
Nanny:     "Are you serving luncheon?"
Daddy:     "He doesn't work here"
Man:        "If I worked here I wouldn't be just standing here"
Nanny:     "You might, you could be Italian"    

Reading  mini humans t-shirt that says Bring out the gimp:
Nanny:     "Bring out the jimp.   What's a jimp?"

Ordering desserts in a restaurant:
Nanny:        "The portions here are far too big"
Grandad:     "Far too big for us"
Nanny:        "Do you recommend the lemon meringue sundae?"
Waitress:     "It's the biggest pudding on the menu"
Grandad:     "I'll have it then"