What my humans did at the mall. By Bessie

So this is what some of my humans did today.  Daddy ask Mummy what her wants to do today and her say her doesn't want to do anything so him says them should go window shopping at the mall.  So them ask the minihumans if they want to come but only Katie does so them three goes to the mall.

First them goes to John Lewis and Mummy and Daddy keep saying they will buy stuff and Katie says "Really?"  And they go "No of course not really, we're window shopping".  Katie says we is the only people she knows who still have a big box for a telly and it so embarrassing she can't even invite people to the house.  But Mummy and Daddy just laugh and say they is retro and retro is cool.  Then Mummy and Katie have a nap in a bed and Katie climbs in a cupboard in the display kitchens so Mummy and Daddy run off and hide in the toy department but when Katie finds them she says she knew they were going to do that cos she heard them giggling and running away like toddlers.

Mummy goes to phones 4 U cos her doesn't know how to turn voicemail on her mobile and she keeps missing important calls and the girl asks the man who asks another man who says you has to phone T mobile and it one of the options on the answer thingy.  Well it no wonder her couldn't do it herself, her wasn't looking there.  So anyway her phone has voicemail now for the first time in 13 months instead of a message telling you this phone may be turned off.

Then them went to get some lunch, there was no seats at any of the tables so Mummy did sit on a bench while Daddy and Katie went to get the food.  Daddy said Mummy should lie across the bench so nobody can sit down but her say she not doing that, that's silly.  Anyway she sits right in the middle of the bench but this woman comes over and sits RIGHT next to her but facing the opposite way so Mummy says, very politely, "I'm actually saving these seats for my family".  But the woman completely ignores and starts eating her happy meal.  Please note:  Happy meals are for children, not grown women.  Mummy not know if it cos she deaf or rude (or both).

Then Daddy and Katie come back and Daddy pulls a face at the woman's back and Mummy shrugs and says "Obviously stone deaf" in a whisper over 50 fields.  Then Daddy sits down and Katie sits on the floor cos the woman nicked her seat and Mummy says a very loud comment about sorry her did try and save Katie a seat but some people are pig ignorant.  Then Daddy does what he calls a Bessie and slowly edges the woman off the bench by getting closer and closer into her personal space (what she did steal off us in the first place).  And she keeps turning round and giving him dirty looks.  Some people are so cheeky.

The estate agent phones when them is eating and her says the people yesterday really liked the house but they is not proceedable - this means they hasn't sold their house yet apparently - but when they is they is going to come for a second viewing.  This made us happy cos even though them didn't buy the house yet and they probably won't, at least it means someone likes it.   It very demoralising when all the feedback you get is negative stuff.

After thems lunch Daddy did buy a shirt from Next and Katie and Mummy did say them would help him choose some clothes that didn't make him look like a Grandad having a mid life crisis.  But them couldn't find any.  Mummy wanted to get him a stripy jumper and a body warmer but Katie said he looked like Where's Wally.  Katie wanted him to get a hoody but Mummy said he looked like a mugger.  So them got nothing.

Them went in the Disney Store cos Mummy likes to see if there is any new Finding Nemo merchandise but she already had every Nemo thing in the shop.  Katie say she would like a baby brother or sister so they could have some Disney stuff but her didn't want Mummy to have a baby cos that would be disgusting.  And Mummy ask is that cos she too old to have a baby or because if she was pregnant everybody would know her and Daddy still did it?  Anyway this man walking past must have heard cos him was laughing his pants off and Katie mortified that Mummy said "did it" in public - in the Disney Store at that.

Them went in H&M to look at the clothes in the sale and Katie and Daddy was doing a dance routine (like you do?) and then Katie realised one of her teachers was stood watching her.  haha.  Her says that is awks.  Me not know what that means, me not speak the teen lingo.

Anyway that's what my humans did today.  Mummy not buy anything, Katie not buy anything, Daddy buy a shirt and a McDonalds.