NO I WAS NOT DOING A POO. By Bessie (about Mummy)

So Mummy thinks maybe she will let Katie give her a makeover.  After all, she is 41 now (don't tell her I told you that) and she shouldn't really be walking round in little girls sundresses and Kylie's old knickers (especially in the snow, that's just silly and irresponsible).  I keep telling her, "Mummy, you're not Nicki Minaj".

In other news Mummy needs to buy a new lightbulb for the toilet at work.  They've got an energy saving bulb in there and last night she went for a wee before she went home but she had to wait 5 minutes for the room to light up cos she said she wasn't sitting down till she could see there was nothing on the seat.  Anyway when she come out Steve was hopping from foot to foot outside and him say "I've been waiting ages, was you doing a poo?"  And Mummy shout "NO I WAS WAITING FOR THE LIGHT TO COME ON" cos she has never ever done a poo in work and she never would.  Her nervous bowel just wouldn't allow it even if she wanted to.  Then she went back in the office and her boss says, "John is waiting in the car, you've been ages.  Were you having  a poo?" So she screeches again and tells him her going to buy a bulb.  Then she goes out to the car and Daddy sat there revving his engine and she says, "Before you ask..." And him says, "You wasn't doing  a poo?" And her say that no she wasn't doing a poo.

What else?  Last night we was watching Eastenders and Mummy says, "Bugger off Kirsty, nobody likes you.  Not even the viewers".  And Daddy says, "Do they not?"  And Mummy says, "No we don't" And Daddy says him feels sorry for her and her done nothing wrong.  And Mummy shouts at him and says him should be on Tanya's side.  Then in work today Matt says him likes Kirsty and him feels sorry for her so Mummy has to shout at him too.  Then him say his girlfriend shouted at him last night too cos he said that.  These men they just doesn't understand girl politics.

Today in work them had one of the directors to visit, which is annoying cos it means they all has to dress smart; no Dr Marten boots and hoodies.  Mummys boss bringed the director into the office but then him went off to make some tea and the director did come over to Mummy and ask her how were sales compared to this time last year, and her goes "Err Umm I have no idea, that's not really my area".  And him asks "Do you not process all the orders?"  And her thinking oh great, as if I haven't got enough to do now them want me to put everybody else's orders in?  But then Steve what works in the warehouse and was in the office getting some paperwork says "Well we seem to be busier in the warehouse than last January" and then the director starts talking to him instead.  After he gone Mummy say thank you to Steve for rescuing her and him say her looked like a rabbit in headlights and needed saving.  Then their boss did offer to buy everybody a subway roll but Mummy on a diet cos her a big fat heifer so her not want one and Matt went to Subway and bought everyone else a roll but him also bringed back cookies and drinks and her sulked cos her would have liked a cookie and a drink.  Me think her got no real concept of what being on a diet means. There more to it than not saying yes when they ask if you want to go large you know.

In my news, there is no news.  My life is boring.  *sighs*    Carly still not putting any weight on.  Her gets smaller if anything.  Weird.