Open plan living, Daddy style. By Bessie

So the other night Daddy noticed the bubble in the bathroom floor was getting bigger so he had a good look and discovered the toilet is leaking.  He pulled all the floor up and there was water in the roof space and he found mushrooms growing under the floor.  MUSHROOMS!

We thought Daddy was going to go ballistic but he was remarkably calm all things considering.  He said he wanted to replace the floor and wall tiles anyway so he may as well get on with it.   So he ripped all the floor up and the rest of the wall tiles.   The toilet come out and then he was scraping all the rotten wood out and Mummy shouts "OH MY GOD THERE'S A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE WALL!"   

So Daddy come to look and he had knocked right through to the lounge.   Well, open plan is very fashionable, we've seen it on Grand Designs.  Not sure about the open plan lounge/bathroom though.   So when Daddy finished scraping the rotten wood out he mended the hole in the wall so now we can't watch telly from the shower.

On Thursday Mummy, Tom and Bryn took Lotty with them in the car.  They said it was her turn for an adventure cos I always get to go.  Well of course I always get to go, that's cos I'm the oldest and the most important.  Anyway they went to Tewkesbury where they met Miss Adele and Mr Daz and Jackson, the new dog Adele rescued for us.   They got there a bit early cos they thought it would take longer to get there but they have finished all the roadworks on the M50 now so it not take as long.  So they were waiting and watching the other cars arriving and trying to work out which one was theirs.  Lotty sat on Mummys lap so she could look out the window.  Then a people carrier come into the car park with the back window open even though it was cold out.  Mummy said, "I bet that's them and he's just been sick."

Then the car parked next to our car and Miss Adele got out and said Jackson had just been sick.   But apart from that he was very lovely and sweet and Miss Adele and Mr Daz said they loved him very much and was going to miss him.   

Then Jackson and Lotty got in the car and apparently they were both very good and did not argue at all not even once.  And Mummy drove to Bridgend to take Jackson to Miss Lesley who is going to foster him for us.   When they got to Miss Lesley's Jackson and Lotty ran straight through the house and into the garden with Bella and Wilbur.   Jackson very brave boy, he not bothered.  And all the dogs was very nice to each other, not a cross word between them Mummy says.  So they all gave Jackson, Bella and Wilbur big kisses and they come home.  By the time they got home they had been on the road 5 hours.   Them was all shattered and went straight to bed.

On Saturday Katie and her friends wanted to go into Cardiff so Mummy said she would take them and do a bit of Christmas shopping herself.   Bryn stayed home to help Daddy with the plumbing and Tom come with Mummy to keep her company.   

When they got to the park and ride there were two buses in the bus stop.  Both were completely full and there was a big queue of people stood waiting for the next one.   Mummy and Tom did look at each other like oh god what are we doing.   So they join the queue and the two buses went and another one come a few minutes later.  Luckily they managed to get seats and they went into town to do the shopping.   When they got off the bus the teenagers went off by themselves and Mummy and Tom went to Poundland and then to Burger King to get some lunch.   After they had eaten it they went off to do some shopping and it was when they bought something Mummy realised she had left her shopping bag in Burger King.  What was in it was a packet of haribos that she had promised Bryn for helping his Daddy and a box of choklits she bought for the raffle at the Basset rescue Christmas party.   

So they went back to Burger King and the queues at the counters were so big people were queuing out the door.  So they tried to push their way through to get to the stairs when Mummy noticed a little toddler crying  He didn't look like he was with anybody nearby so she knelt down and asked him what was wrong.   He said he lost his Mummy so Mummy lifted him up into her arms and shouts really loud "Has anybody lost a child?"   Loads of people all looked round and this man said he thought he was lost and then he sort of shrugged like to say "I'm a man, I can't pick him up."   Then the little boy points at a lady walking our way so Mummy goes over to her, still carrying the little boy so he not get lost in the crowd again.   Mummy expecting the lady to be cross when she see Mummy holding her baby but she just sighed and said "What you doing there?"  Mummy explain how he was lost and she lifted him up so he could look for her.  The lady just take his hand and drag him off telling him off for leaving the table.  Me think a two or three year old far too little to be left at a table on his own.  Them queues was so long I bet she must have been gone half an hour, no wonder he got scared.

Anyway after all that excitement Mummy and Tom went upstairs and the bag was right where she had left it under the table.  So they had a look in a few more shops but town was so busy it was horrible, everywhere was so busy that even if they wanted to buy something they would have been queuing forever.  So they mooch about not really doing much for a bit then they phoned Katie and said they want to go home.  Surprisingly she was ready and only a few minutes away so them went back to the bus stop and joined a massive queue.  They didn't get on the first bus cos it was too full but they got seats on the next one so them was happy.

At tea time someone phoned to ask about Jackson.   They sounded perfect for him, two men who's basset did go to rainbow bridge recently.  They have another doggy and they arranged to come and see him next week.  If they love him, which they will cos everybody does, then they will take him home with them.

Today we had a lazy day.  Mummy did a load of cooking and baking and we sat and watched.  Carly ate some raw marrow and sweet potato but Lotty and I did not think that would be very tasty.   Carly said it wasn't very nice but as Mummy had given them to her she didn't want to offend Mummy.  I said Carly was stupid and Mummy didn't give them to her, she dropped them.  Carly is such a weirdo.  She's always creeping up to Mummy.  Mummy calls Carly her little stalker cos every time she moves Carly is right behind her.  

Our rescue. How it all began.

Have I told you about our new rescue?   Well, two things happened at the same time.  Firstly people kept asking us to help them with bassets but because of the rules of the basset rescue we were looking for we couldn't help.   Then, while we were moving house Miss Sam arranged a rescue of a basset being transported all the way from Devon to Aberdeen.  we couldn't help because we were moving house but it got us thinking that maybe it would be quite simple to set up a basset rescue of our own.  So we did.

We have been going for eight weeks and we have rescued seven dogs so far.   I'll tell you about them in a minute.   First we made a facebook page then we asked Miss Sam and Miss Louise if they'd like to help.  So Miss Sam is our treasurer and Miss Louise is our secretary.  Then we asked Uncle MrJeff if he would help us with our website so he is building our website for us.  It's nearly finished now, we're ever so excited.  Uncle MrJeff is sponsoring our phone too and Aunty Jayne gave us a phone so people can phone us about the houndies.

We are trying to do it all with just the group of people we have at the moment and the two people in Northern Ireland, Miss Alice and Miss Nikki.  But it is getting more and more work.  We did think we would need to get more people, area reps we thought,  in the future when we get busier but we think we are already much busier than we expected.   Ooh and we're having a Christmas Party too.  Miss Sam found a village hall that allows dogs and we have booked it for the 8th December.  We've got all sorts of fun and games planned.   Santa is coming to give all the dogs and children a present.  We will have a very silly dog show with rounds like dog who looks most like their owner and saddest face and some activity rounds like snossij relay race, egg and spoon race and musical cushions.   An obstacle course and fancy dress and we are having mulled wine and a buffet lunch.  It's going to be tonnes of fun, we can't wait.

Anyway, our dogs.  So I'll tell you about Daisy first, she wasn't our rescue like I said but it was her story that inspired us.  So much so that Miss Alex, her mummy, said we could use her picture for our logo.  So Daisy was rescued from a barn in Devon where she had been used for breeding.   She spent four nights in Devon at the first rescuers house, then she was taken to Bristol where she met the next group of people.  They took her to Stratford on Avon where she swapped cars again.   Then to Nottingham to meet some different people who took her to Rotherham where she met her forever family who took her the rest of the way to Aberdeen.  An incredible 600 mile journey.   So it was this story that inspired us to start our own rescue.

Next we have Bertie.   His owner couldn't give him the attention he craved so he came to us.   The next day we took him to meet Miss Louise.  He is staying there with Frank and Penny for now.  He loves it at Miss Louise's.

Then Roxy.  Roxy was found as a stray living in a forest in Northern Ireland, scared, skinny and pregnant.  She was taken to the pound where she had her puppies and when they were old enough to be weaned the pound phoned Alice, our Northern Ireland rep and asked her to take her in.   Roxy has now been spayed, deflea-ed and wormed and had her bad skin treated with antibiotics.  She is now a million miles from the little stray.

Photo above is Roxy the day she arrived.

Below is her now.

Merlot is very special to us.  They are all very special to us of course but we feel very proud to have rescued Merlot.   We first saw her advertised as free to a good home and asked the seller if we could take her but they didn't respond to us.   Then she disappeared off the website and we were all very worried about what had happened to her.  Three weeks later another dog appeared on the free ads, same age and description but different name and slightly different location.  We didn't put the two together but we asked if we could have her and this time the owner said yes.  One of our transporters, Lesley went to pick her up and that evening our foster carer, Susan brought her home and had a good look at her papers.  The owner had changed her name but the microchip form told us that her name was Merlot and her previous owners name and location was the same as the Merlot we had tried to rescue three weeks previously.  We feel she was sent to us from up high.    Merlot was in season so she stayed with Miss Susan until her season was finished and her vaccinations had been completed.  Yesterday she met her prospective adopter, the lovely Miss Zoe, for the first time and it was love at first sight for the both of them.  Merlot will be going off to Scotland to start her new life at the end of this month.  A happy ending for a very special little girl.

Cooper 's owner couldn't look after him any more so he was given to a lady who had dachshunds.  Unfortunately being a lot bigger than them Cooper was standing on them and the lady was worried for their safety and asked us to help find a new home.   We put his photo on our facebook page and the lovely Miss Sue applied for him.  We thought she was the perfect Mum for a sweet but boisterous young boy like Cooper.  And we were right.  He now lives in Cumbria with his beagle siblings.

Alfie's owner couldn't take him with her to her new home so he had been locked in a shed while he waited to be rehomed.  Our Northern Ireland rep Nikki took him in and he is settling in with his new brother and sister.

Harvey lived with three other dogs and a loving family but he wanted to be an only dog and would fight with his siblings.  His family very reluctantly decided that he would be happier in a home where he could be the only dog.  Luckily we knew just the people.   He went to his new family yesterday and is already settling in well.

Jackson was at a rescue centre and not enjoying life in kennels at all.  On our behalf, Miss Adele offered to help as he had been there for four weeks and we thought we might be able to rehome him quicker.   Miss Adele is picking him up tomorrow and we will meet her halfway on Thursday and take him to Miss Lesley who will foster him until we find a suitable home.

So that is us so far.   Lots more success stories to come, we are sure.    We are really enjoying running our new rescue and we've got some really good and kind people working with us and have had loads of support from the dog community.

I'll get me coat. By Bessie

Firstly I have to tell you that ever since Mummy smelled that salted caramel candle she's been wobbling on about needing to buy one.  Anyway she had all her candles on yesterday and when one ran out she went to get a new one from the massive stockpile and realised all this time she already had salted caramel.   Stupid woman.

On Tuesday Mummy asked her boss if he could remember how many holidays she had left cos she couldn't remember.  He phoned the wages girl at head office and when he come off he says "Well you may as well just go home now."  So she stood up and put her coat on.
"No, not really.  Please don't," he said.  So she agreed that even though she had so many days holiday left that she didn't need to work again this year she would come in every Wednesday.  Because quite frankly it's easier to lose four days holiday than let someone else near the invoices.

So Thursday she didn't go to work, she went to Tesco and then she came home and played with us.  On Friday Grandma and Grandad came to stay for the weekend.   The humans went to B&Q to steal wallpaper samples for Katie's art homework on Saturday afternoon.  On the way out the alarm went off and Mummy told Katie it was because she had stole more than a metres worth of wallpaper.

That night they went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant in Cardiff for Tom's birthday what they paid for with clubcard vouchers.   It was nice foodies.  Katie had chips for her starter though cos she is strange.

On Sunday Aunty Mic, Uncle Rob and Ben come to visit.  Mummy attempted to cook dinner for 10 in her tiny kitchen.  She did the chikkin in the slow cooker and all the veggies in a big baking tray and she did manage to make the dinner.  Unfortunately Daddy thinks that means the kitchen is fine and she don't need a new cooker.   Hmph.

Tomorrow is Tom's birthday.   He will be 21.  

Not in a candle shop. Not again. By Bessie

Yesterday Mummy smelled a salted caramel yankee candle.   This is the noise she made while she was sniffing it:

"Ohhhh hmmmmmm ohhhhh yessssss hmmmmmmm.   I like this.  Sniff this.  NO, don't take it off me.  Smell that one there.   Hmmmmmm yummy."

Suffice to say Tom said he's not taking Mummy into any more candle shops.  Ever.

In other news Mummy put half the contents of our house, particularly the contents of her wardrobe, on Ebay.  She says she will use the money to pay for the minihumans Christmas presents.  She also said she's selling every pair of shoes that hurts.  Cos she doesn't see the point of wearing anything that isn't comfortable.  So if you ever see Mummy at a posh function she will be the one in slippers...or converses...or doc martens.  Not nice shoes anyway.  That is the point I am trying to make.

In which Bertie wins at hide and seek. By Bessie

Today we went out with the pack.   We got up nice and early and Mummy made bacon and hash brown rolls for breakfast and chicken and cheese rolls for lunch while Daddy got the car ready for us.  When it was time to get in the car Daddy couldn't find his keys even though him only had them a minute ago.  So we all looked for the keys but they was nowhere to be found and we really needed to go or we were going to be late so Daddy got his spare set and off we went.

It was the same walk we did last May so we thought we knew where we was going.  We drove to the place where the walk started last time and we waited.  And then Mr Guy, Alice, Jessica and Maude came so we got out the car to talk to them.  And then it got to twenty past and we thought where is everybody?  Some people walked past and we asked them if they seen any more dogs like us.  "Oh yes," they says, "there's loads down there."  So we thinks we ought to walk back and meet the rest of the pack so we did.  It took ages to walk down cos we was parked so far away.   Everybody else was parked in a completely different place (which by the way wasn't anywhere near as good a place to park as where we was but ho hum).

Then we give everybody an invitation to the basset rescue christmas party and we set off on our walk.   By the time we got back to the monument by our car we realised there was two dogs missing, Bertie and Flash.  Then Miss Diane got a call to say Bertie was found but Flash still missing.  So Miss Louise and Jordan went back to see the lady who apparently had Bertie.   Mummy said me and Carly and her would go and help find Flash.  So we followed Miss Louise and Jordan but they was running so we lost them. We went back into the woods and tried to retrace our steps until we found a lady who had been on the walk with us but had got left behind.  We felt terrible cos we not know if anybody even knew she was left behind. So we showed her how to get back to everybody else and then we went off into the woods.  Then Brian and his humans catched us up and say they would help look for Flash.  Then we heard a voice and it was Miss Louise.  She went looking but she couldn't find the lady with Bertie.  Her was not where she was sposed to be.  Jordan had run into the woods to look for everybody but now we had lost him too.   Then someone phoned and said the lady now had Bertie on a lead and Flash had run off back to the cars and she was coming back with Jordan.  So we went back the way we come and we seen Mr Ryan coming towards us so we all went back.  Then Tom phoned to ask where we was cos the rest of the pack was carrying on the walk.  We say it ok, all the dogs has been found and we is on our way back.   So them say they wouldn't walk with everybody, they would come and meet us.  So we went back to the path.  But when we got there Jordan was with Daddy, Tom and Bryn and he said he hadn't seen the lady with Bertie or Flash.   So we all started looking again.  We decided the best thing was to go back to the cars in the hope that both the dogs, and this lady whoever she is, made it back there.  So Daddy said he would move our car so it was with all the others, so he went back to get the car and we walked down to the other car park.   When we got there Miss Sam and Mr Dave were there with all the children but Bertie, Flash and the lady weren't.  Then the lady who had got lost in the woods came and described the dog she saw with the lady and we was convinced it was Bertie.  So we said we would go and look for Flash then if we know Bertie is safe.  So we all went back into the woods to look for Flash and Mr Dave drove up the lane to see if he could see anybody.  Then he came back and said he saw a basset running across the road but it was going too fast.  So Daddy went with Mr Dave so if they saw it again he could jump out and try and call it.   In the meantime the rest of us were walking round the woods calling Bertie and Flash.

Then someone shouts up the lane that they have Bertie but Flash is still missing.    So we say we will look, then suddenly Flash is back too.  We never did find out where the dogs had been and which dog, if any, this lady had found cos by the time we got back to the cars she had gone home.

Then the humans ate their lunch and we all had some snossijs and then we went off for the second half of the walk.  Bertie had to stay on his lead this time after disgracing himself.   We was having a lovely walk too until we was 300 yards from the end when Mr Wayne shouts "Come back, we've lost another one!"   Narla had gone missing this time.  So we all walked back shouting her name and us dogs were all barking and howling to attract her attention but we waited for ages and we were all in the woods looking but we couldn't find her anywhere.  So her mum said we should go back to the cars and hope she has run back there.  So we started walking back and then suddenly Lotty ran off into the woods.  Bryn and Daddy raced after her but her was so fast she was really far in seconds, then Bryn managed to corner her against a fence but she didn't want to be caught.  She had the scent of something and she wanted to be off.  Bryn had to throw himself on top of her to stop her running off.  So then Lotty had to stay on her lead.

When we got back to the cars most people decided to stay behind and help search for Narla.  We was all standing round deciding where to start when Mr Guy and one of Narla's humans come walking down the path with Narla on her lead.  We was all so happy and relieved.   Then we all did huggies and kissies and we got back in our cars and went home.  We was so tired after all the excitement we slept all the way home.  Luckily Daddy stayed awake so he could drive the car.  There was a massive queue at the toll and it took ages to get back into Wales.  Then we picked Katie up from her friends, came home and had baffs (grrr) and our tea (yummy) and slept most of the evening.

At bedtime Mummy went to lock the back door but the key was missing.  She asked Daddy where it was and he had a look then announced that someone must have snuck in and took the key.  "Oh that reminds me," said Mummy, "Did you find your car keys yet?"    "Yes," admitted Daddy, "They were in my other coat pocket."   Then he went upstairs and the back door keys were in his coat pocket too.

Ooh I almost forgot, we arranged another adoption this week.    Someone in Lancashire needed to rehome their basset so we advertised him on our facebum page and we rehomed him.  He went to his new family today and he's already settled in.

Good things come to those who wait. By Bessie

Last night it rained.  Lots.   Our village is flooded from next doors house onwards.  Nobody down that end can get in or out.  We are OK but our well is almost full and the field behind is flooded.   Mummy got up early and went to Tesco to stock up in case we get flooded in.   It's still not stopped raining but the flood hasn't got any higher yet.

Mummy and Bryn ripped all the wallpaper off in the hall.  Now they have to redecorate cos it looks awful.  Although Mummy says she likes it, cos she can visualise what the hall will look like when it's finished now that wallpaper is gone.

We sold the hot tub.  I think we might have sold it too cheap cos we only put it on ebay on Saturday night.  Yesterday we had four messages asking for a buy it now price so we gave them all the same price.   Three of them asked if they could come and get it, one offered £200 less.  We let the first person have it cos that is the politest way to do things so him come down last night with his wife and daughter and paid 20% and is coming back tonight with five big strong friends to take it away.   We are going to buy an oak table and six chairs to go in the dining room and two three seater settees for the lounge with the money.  We also put the sauna and the old fridge on ebay, they haven't sold yet.  But they only just gone on.

Hmm what else to tell you?   Katie is watching video blogs on youtube.  I realise now I'm supposed to start every blog with HI GUYS!  Sorry I have been so remiss.  I didn't know this til now.  That's why I've only got 19 followers and Phil and Dan have got two million.

Uncle MrJeff is making us a website for our new rescue.  We can't wait for it to be finished.  We did a rescue on Saturday.  It turned out to be an incredible story.  Me explain...

So we seen this dog on preloved in Merseyside for £60 on Friday so Mummy emailed the seller.   We arranged to pick her up on Saturday.  Miss Lesley was going to collect her from the seller and Miss Susan going to foster her until we find a home (we got someone very special in mind but more on that later).

Anyway Miss Lesley got to the home handed the money over and was told that the doggy is in season.  Uh-oh.  Not that it would have stopped us taking her but it makes things difficult.  We can't send her to new home until she is spayed unless we are sure the new owners will get it done.  We checked with Miss Susan she was still OK to foster but her say yes that is fine, no problems with her own dogs.

Miss Lesley says doggy is lovely and sweet and very well behaved but shy and nervous.  Miss Susan went to pick doggy up and took her home.  Only when she got her back and had a good look at her papers does it become apparent there is more to this doggy than meets the eye.  Turns out, after a little detective work, this is only another doggy of a different name (that funnily enough when called she responds to much better than the name the seller gave her) that we saw advertised free to a good home on another site three weeks ago.  We were all really upset at the time cos we had emailed the seller and got no response and were worried about where she had ended up.  Anyway alls well that ends well and we got the doggy that we wanted in the first place.  This only makes us even more determined to make sure she ends up in the perfect home (who I already know who it is but they just need to be convinced that they are perfect).

Why bassets are not stupid. By Bessie

I was thinking about human's interpretation of dog intelligence.  You see according to most people Basset Hounds are pretty stupid.  But my humans don't think we are.   Like last night for example, Carly walked into the lounge and every seat was taken.  So she starts jumping round the room, doing play bows and barking.  Lotty jumps off the settee to play fight with her and Carly jumps right up and steals her spot.  Now that's not the work of a stupid dog is it?   Once, Lotty wanted Mummy's spot in the bed and Mummy said no, she wasn't having it.  Lotty tried tugging the duvet off her but Mummy still wouldn't give up her spot.  So Lotty takes Mummy's clothes that were by the side of the bed and threw them all down the stairs.  So of course Mummy has to go and retrieve them.  When she got back a minute later Lotty was fast asleep (allegedly) on Mummy's pillow and had managed to make herself weigh ten stone.

Stanley Coren's book "The Intelligence of Dogs" rates Bassets #71 in the most intelligent breeds.    Really Mr Coren?   And on what criteria do you measure intelligence?   Working and obedience intelligence is the answer.  i.e. doing as you're told.   Now you tell me, which is more clever?   Blindly following instructions or thinking for yourself?   My Mummy considers herself a reasonably intelligent human but she never does as she's told unless she's stopped and thought about the consequences beforehand.   Same goes for us three houndies.

According to Mr Coren the most intelligent 10 were:
1.     Border Collie
2.     Poodle
3.     German Shepherd
4.     Golden Retriever
5.     Doberman
6.     Shetland Sheepdog
7.     Labrador
8.     Papillon
9.     Rottweiler
10.   Australian Cattle dog

and the 10 least intelligent were:
79:    Afghan Hound
78:    Basenji
77.    Bulldog
76:    Chow Chow
75:    Borzoi
74:    Bloodhound
73:    Pekingese
72:    Mastiff Beagle   (I don't even know what one of these is)
71:    Basset Hound
70:    Shih Tzu

Now, don't get me wrong, I know dogs of most of them breeds (except the ones I've never heard of) and I know some really nice border collies, Poodles and German Shepherds.  But if I was going on Who wants to be a millionaire, I might not pick one as my phone a friend.

So, say Mr Coren took one of each of these 79 breeds - presuming he can find a mastiff beagle, what with that being a made up breed and all that just stuck in there to make the basset even further down his dumb list - anyway, if he took one of each and lined us all up on a cliff edge and shouted "Jump!".    Us 70s would all be stood there peering over the edge at the broken and battered bodies of the 1-10s and asking ourselves why they didn't look to see what was down there.   OK, so they weren't broken and battered really.  I don't think Mr Coren would do that for the sake of an experiment.  Lets assume there was a massive cushion at the bottom.  But you wouldn't know that unless you looked over the edge first.  And the 1-10 didn't.  They just jumped because they were told to.

If you throw a stick for a border collie they will bring it back and wait for you to throw it again.    If you throw a stick for a basset they will lie down and have a nap while you fetch your own stick.   That's independent thought, not stupidity.

So there you have it.  The moral of that story is....what is the moral of that story?   Hmmm.  Disobedience doesn't always equal stupidity?  Maybe that dog is just thinking of the consequences.

And finally, I know some of them dogs at the top of the list have jobs and everything and you're probably thinking they must be really clever cos no basset ever had a job.   But HA!  No cos I met loads of stupid humans who have jobs.  And they get paid like real money and everything, they don't just do it for biscuits.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Intelligence_of_Dogs

So we likes Shakespeare now. By Bessie

Daddy made a fence so we can't go round to the front gate and bark at the horses.   But he left us with a nice big bit of garden this time.  Not like in the old house where we weren't allowed on the grass.   

Last Friday Grandad came to stay.  The humans was all posh and had pudding and cheese and biscuits with their dinner every night.   Them decided them was going to be sophisticated for a change.   Mummy made fish and chips and salted caramel cheesecake, Grandad loved the cake and asked for the recipe so he could make it for his friends.  And her made trifle, him didn't ask for that recipe but then me think you would have to be a bit stoopid not to know how to make a trifle.

On Saturday some of the humans went to the mall cos Grandad said he wanted to buy us a new telly as a moving in present.   So him took Mummy and Daddy and Katie to John Lewis and him and Daddy chose a telly.  Mummy didn't help cos her was just looking for the cheapest and it made Daddy and Grandad cross so her and Katie went to play on the ipads while they waited.  They didn't have the telly in stock what they chose but they had one in Cardiff so Grandad paid for it over the phone and him and Daddy said they would go and get it on Sunday.

Then they looked round the shops for a bit and then come home and had cottage pie and trifle for tea.  On Sunday Daddy and Grandad went to get the telly, Katie and Bryn had an all day rehearsal which they wasn't pleased about cos it meant they had to go to school on a Sunday.  Mummy and Tom went to Tesco to buy more cheese cos Nanny wasn't there to tell Grandad he'd had enough so he ate about 2kg of cheese all by himself.  Then they went to Pets at Home and bought some food for us cos Tesco don't sell the right ones.

When them got back Daddy and Grandad was in the lounge setting up the telly but they hadn't let us out the cage.  Mummy was really cross with Daddy but he said we was alright.   I say we wasn't alright, we does not like being locked in the cage when we knows humans is in the house.  So Mummy let us out but then Grandad said we had to go away cos we smell and Daddy locked us out of the lounge so Mummy and Tom stayed in the dining room with us and sent off some job applications.   Then Katie phoned to say they were ready so Mummy went to get them and then they had a Sunday roast for their tea and treacle sponge pudding and custard.  Mummy did think she had to intervene with the cheese cos she knew Nanny would be cross if she didn't so after a while she snuck the cheeseboard back into the kitchen.

Grandad went to Swindon on Monday to see his friends and then over to Uncle Nicks on Wednesday.  Katie and Bryn had their play on Tuesday.  Mummy, Daddy and Tom went to see it.   It was at the Riverfront Theatre in town.  There was four schools each doing a short version of a Shakespeare play.  My minihumans school did Midsummer Nights Dream, the others did Twelfth Night, Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet.   My big humans all agreed that Midsummer Nights Dream was the best and they swears they isn't just saying that cos it was our minihumans.   Katie played Hermia, this one of the starring roles, her had loads of lines and her got them all right and acted good.   Bryn was Cobweb, he was one of the fairies.  he only had one line but he had lots of jumping round the stage and moves to remember and he played a song on his guitar to help Titania go to sleep.  Anyway it was really good and the minihumans loved performing and the big humans loved watching.

Today was Mummys day off so her stayed home and did loads of housework and laundry.  Her still hasn't fixed the lights on the fishtank, she said she needs Daddy's help but he is always too busy playing with his new telly or plugging things in.   Then we went for a walk through the golf club before dinner and had a sleep.

We got people coming on Sunday, we very excited to have visitors.   Mummy got her friends coming over, they has started a new basset rescue and they is having another meeting to talk about the Christmas party.

Bertie the basset comes to stay.

such a busy busy weekend me has had.  On Friday we had a rescue dog, Bertie, come to stay.  He come at tea time.  We showed him our garden while Mummy made dinner and then we all come in and had food and then we sat on Mummys lap in the evening and watched telly.  It was a bit of a squeeze with four of us but we just about fit.

Yesterday me, Bertie and Mummy went to Miss Tara's house to collect her and then we all went to Miss Sam's house and Miss Louise was there waiting for Bertie cos she is going to foster him.  We played in Miss Sam's garden with Shirley and Ollie and Miss Sam's minihumans and then we went to the pub for lunch.

After we got back from the pub Bertie went home with Miss Louise.  Bertie was ever so good except when he took a fancy to the sofa and Miss Sam had to clean his boy stuff off it.

Then we took Miss Tara home, went to get some petrol and went home.  But when we got home there was nobody in and we had no house keys cos we hasn't got round to getting more keys cut yet so we had to sit in the drive and wait for Daddy and the boys to get back from McDonalds.   Katie went to the Man O' Gwent for her friends birthday and didn't get in til eleven.  Dirty stop out she is.

Today us houndies, Mummy and the boys - but not Daddy cos he wanted to do stuff in the house or Katie cos she couldn't be bothered to get out of bed - went to Somerset to walk with the pack.  Mr Wayne and Ronnie come too and we met Miss Sue and Mr Neil again with Sasha and Herbie.   Miss Moppet went to rainbow bridge last month and Matilda was pining for her.  She so miserable we did all feel so very very bad for her.

Mr Neil found the worlds biggest mushroom.   Ronnie has a new boyfriend called Mr Smith.  We went to the pub and had chips and gravy bones and chatted with Mr Wayne and him make us laugh with his funny stories.  And then we come home and had our tea and watched Countryfile and X Factor and Downton Abbey.

The latest from our house. By Bessie

The washing machine is working.  The humans have clean underwear and Mummy is no longer wearing ballgowns to work.

The waste disposal still isn't working.    Daddy refuses to give up. Even if it costs a million pounds to mend it he will persevere.

The dishwasher is working.

Tom and Mummy built the rest of the beds on Friday, sorted out Tom's room and dismantled a wardrobe.

The pond now has netting over it but it needs a filter.

The fishtank is set up but the water still needs to settle and then it needs topping up.  The fish are happy to be back in their big tank though.   They got so much room in there all four of them can have a corner each and invite each other over for tea.

Mummy asked Daddy to put the bookcases up from the old house.  He must have misheard though cos what he actually did was chop them up and use the wood to line the attic.  Now we have nowhere to put the books, DVDs and CDs.  But hey, at least the attic looks nice.

We have a rescue basset coming on Friday.  His name is Bertie.  This will be our fourth rescue Bertie.   Mummy is taking him to meet Miss Louise on Saturday.  She is going to foster him for us til he is a good pet (foster fail me coughs).

That's all the news so far.  Thank you for waiting so patiently my friends.

Tuesday 24th September. In which Daddy forgets his own name and Mummy goes commando.

Mummy took the minihumans to school and told Tom to have a shower, make himself presentable and then go and find a job.  But when she got back he said he did what she said but when he got halfway there he looked down at the dog on the lead and realised he hadn't accessorised very well for job hunting.  So he went home and said he will go again tomorrow, on his own this time.

When Daddy came home all the humans went to Currys to buy a fridge and a washing machine.  On the way in Mummy saw a toaster she liked half price.  It was the last one and there was no box so she picked it up and carried it all round the shop with her so nobody could steal it.  They picked a washing machine they liked and then they went to look at the fridges and picked one but it was late and the boss had obviously left for the day cos the music was up really loud and all the staff were stood at the other end of the shop chatting.  Mummy sent Katie to ask if they could possibly tear themselves away could we have some service.  Obviously Katie more polite than Mummy though cos what she actually said was "Could someone help us with a fridge please?"  So she comes back with this really tall australian man and he says "I thought I was about to sell a fridge to my shortest customer ever."  "You still are," sniggered Tom and Mummy kicked him.

The man said it was £26 for a next day delivery.   Daddy said he wasn't paying that, how long do we have to wait for free delivery.  "Two weeks," said the man.  "Two weeks!"  squealed Mummy, "I ran out of knickers two days ago and I wore an evening dress to work today."  Anyway her soon wished she hadn't mentioned her knickers cos the man kept going on about them and making Mummy blush.

Then them decided they would rather pay for a quicker delivery so they are getting a fridge and a washing machine on Friday for £22.   Then the man wondered who left a toaster on top of the fridge and Mummy remember she put it there so the man went in the storeroom to find the box but there wasn't one.  Mummy say not to worry, her got enough boxes in the house.  So they went to the desk to pay and the man ask Daddy his name.   "My name.  Hmmm" say Daddy.  "Do you need help?" asked Mummy.   Anyway then Mr wotstisname payed for his new white goods and Mummy paid for her toaster and then they went to Pizza Hut for tea cos Daddy promised ages ago that once they sold the house they would go out for dinner.

Monday 23rd September. Nanny's memorial.

Today Mummy and Daddy dressed up smart and took the minihumans to school then they went up to Stafford to Nannys memorial.    They went to the cemetry and met Grandad, Uncles Simon, Nick and Sid and Aunties Jackie and Sue and Grandads cousin and his wife and three of Nanny and Grandad's friends who couldn't make it to the funeral, one was on holiday and the other two were too old to make the journey north.

They went to the family plot and the man from the council took Nanny's casket and said a prayer then he lent by the little hole and said "I hope I don't fall in."  Just as he slipped and nearly fell in.  Nanny would have laughed at that.   Then Daddy left the flowers him and Mummy chose for Nanny and they all said goodbye to Nanny and Mummy and Daddy promised her that everytime they is going up north they will stop at the cemetry on the way and bring her some flowers.

Then they all went to a hotel for lunch.  After lunch the family went to the stonemasons to choose Nanny a plaque.  Grandad said he wanted marble so it would blend in with all the other stones but the man said they haven't used marble in years and it was difficult to get hold of.  Grandad was upset but then Mummy said "Why does it need to blend in?  Mum was never one to blend in, she liked to be different.  She liked to make a statement."  Everybody agreed but Grandad say him need to think about it so they left the stonemasons.   Then they went back to the cars and all kiss goodbye and Mummy make everyone promise to come and stay with us soon.

Mummy and Daddy got home just after the minihumans got back from rehearsal.   Them has to admit walking home from school not as bad as they thought it would be.  It only took 20 minutes.  Tom say it would have taken twice that if I had come.  Cheeky boy that he is.

After tea Daddy finally got the telly in the bedroom working so we is sitting in bed while Mummy writes this for me.    Daddy was out in the street weeding the front of the village hall cos it next door so he thought he would be nice.  Him didn't realise there was a council meeting going on until they all come out and say "Oh hello what are you doing?"   Him introduced himself and the leader of the council said they just discussed that they would put a sign up asking for someone to do the weeding.  Daddy say he guess he just volunteered then.  I think that makes Daddy a member of the council.  He says he thinks that doesn't.  And she invited all my humans to a talk in the hall by a lady who wrote a book about the big house that used to be on the hill behind our house.  Mummy and Daddy is looking forward to that, they is very interested in the local history but they couldn't find much on the internet.  Mummy had planned on going into town to see if there was anything in the library when she got a chance.

Sunday 22nd September. In which Lotty meets her nemesis.

On Thursday Daddy went to work.  Mummy took the minihumans to school then went to Tesco to finally buy some food.   Then Grandma and Grandad came over and they all went out to buy hangers cos Katie had taken every last one to hang all her clothes including her pyjamas.  After tea Grandma and Grandad went home.  They said they would be back very soon and that the hotel across the road is lovely.

On Friday Mummy and Tom unpacked most of the boxes and rearranged the furniture in the dining room.  When Daddy came home he said he liked what they had done so it can stay.

Yesterday Mummy and Katie went to Ikea to buy stuff for the house.  They got a throw for Katie's bed and a new dog bed which we love, and a cat flap and a new bed for Spicy cat.  Spicy cat was still locked inside so she doesn't run away.

Today Mummy and the boys took us for a really long walk.  We walked all the way to Tesco cos Mummy needed to buy a dress for Nanny's memorial service tomorrow cos her funeral dress is at the bottom of the washing basket and the washing machine is broke.

While we was out Lotty got scared cos a little gypsy child tried to stroke her.  We have never seen Lotty scared of anything before.

While we was out Katie let Spicy out of the office and she decided she wants to sleep in Katie's bed with her.  Mummy and Daddy say that OK but they had to get Katie some allergy tablets cos she got big puffy eyes from cat fur.

Wednesday 17th September. 18 months later we is on the move.

My humans pack all weekend.  Tom and Bryn takes us out for walks cos apparently we is getting under everybody's feets.

My minihumans is in a shakespeare play at the riverside theatre soon so they have to go to lots o rehearsals.  They stays in school late on Monday and Tuesday.

On Tuesday Grandad, Mummy's Daddy, comes down to help.  Him and Daddy take the spare keys to the estate agent then they have chippy chips for tea and stay up very late finishing the packing.

This morning Mummy and Katie take us houndies round to our friends Beau and Bones house.  We have a great time with our friends while the humans is working hard.  In the meantime the removal men come and they put all our things into a big wagon.  Unfortunately while Mummy was at Beau and Bones house, somebody accidentally packed the mugs and tea making stuff away so when the removal men asked for a drink they couldn't have one.  So Daddy went next door and came back with three mugs.  "Don't worry" he said, "I've saved the day."
"Not really," said Mummy, "We've go no coffee or sugar."  So Tom and Grandad went to Waitrose to buy some.  Luckily the milk and kettle hadn't been packed away - yet.

At 12 o'clock the solicitor phoned and said the sale was complete.  "We've got a new house!" shouts Daddy.  So Mummy mopped the floors, sprayed febreze everywhere and they left the house for the last time.

Daddy, Grandad and the boys went straight to the new house.  Mummy and Katie came to get us first.  On the way they passed the removal van parked up down the village, unmanned with all our worldly goods on board.  She wasn't impressed and said she would have liked to wait by the van to watch our stuff but she was already half an hour late picking us up.

When they got to Beau and Bones house Miss Tracy and Mr Peter said we had been such good girls we could stay longer if we wanted.  We did want and Mummy said it would be a big help so her and Katie left us and went toMcDonalds for the humans lunch.

When they got to the new house with everybodys food Grandad was being shown round.  We think he likes it, him said it was hard to work out where all the rooms went though.

The humans was just finishing their food when the removal van turned up.  They put all our things in the house, drank lots of tea and then they went home.  Mummy and Tom came to get us, Grandad took Katie to her rehearsal and then he went to fetch Grandma from the train station.

When we got to the new house we did run round and round the garden and the house.  If all the doors in the house are open we can do laps!   After we had our tea Grandma came and she loves the house.  Mummy said they could stay the night and Mummy and Daddy would sleep on the settee cos the spare room full of boxes and flat pack furniture but them wanted to try the hotel across the road.

Friday 12th September. In which something finally goes right.

The estate agent finally phoned back at 5pm today to tell us that the people buying our house were only asked for their deposit at 1pm TODAY!  So all the times their solicitor said it had been paid she was LYING.

But anyway it has, apparently, definitely been paid and will be in the account on Tuesday.  So we can complete on Wednesday.  We have no idea why it should take so long, we paid ours last week and it took two hours to show in the account.  Anyway Daddy goes back to the cottage to ask if Wednesday is OK.   They phoned their movers who said yes but if they change it again they will have to be the full amount twice.  Cheeky sods I say.  Our movers say Wednesday is good for them so we pay our money and start packing at long last.  Yes you read that right.  We are moving in five days and we haven't started packing.  We were all so worried about it falling through we didn't dare.

Thursday 12th September. In which £23,000 goes missing and Carly has a birthday.

On Saturday the 7th Mummy and Katie went round to the cottage to make sure the peoples solicitor had told them about the moving date.  She hadn't but they were happy to move on this date.

On Monday 9th Daddy phoned our solicitor to find out if the people buying our house had payed their deposit.  So she phoned their solicitor who said it would be in the account Tuesday.

Tuesday came and went and no deposit.   Daddy phoned the removal company who said they were now booked up for Monday.   They couldn't hold our booking as other people wanted to move and had exchanged contracts.  But she said she could do any other day next week.

Wednesday they still hadn't paid.  Our solicitor checked again and their solicitor said definitely tomorrow.

Thursday still no deposit so we was really panicking by then.  We was supposed to be moving on Monday but we got no removal company and keep getting lied to about the deposit.  So Daddy phoned the estate agent and asked her to phone the people and ask them what's going on.   In the meantime Daddy went to the cottage to tell them what's going on.  They say they have booked for Monday and paid their removal people.

By the way it is Carly's birthday today.  She is 5.

Friday 6th. In which we take Nanny's flowers to the cemetry.

Mummy tried to send the minihumans to school but they was so tired and overwraught after yesterday that she got halfway there, turned back, tucked them into bed and went to work.

In the meantime Daddy and Tom collected us from Uncle Jed's.  We was very pleased to see them, but we did wonder what had happened to Mummy, we never been so long without seeing her.   On the way home we went to Stafford Cemetry and put Nannys flowers on the family grave and Daddy cleaned all the headstones ready for Nanny to come and be with her relatives in a couple of weeks.

By the time we got home Mummy was back from work.  We was so excited to see her Lotty peed her pants.

Thursday 5th September. Nanny's funeral.

Today was Nanny's funeral.  In the morning Mummy, Daddy and Uncle Simon took their cars to the golf club and Uncle Nick drove everybody back to Grandad's cos they was going to the funeral in the big funeral cars but they needed to get home afterwards.

Then they had showers and everybody dressed in their smart clothes.  Not black though, Nanny loves bright colours and patterns.  Katie wore a blue flowery dress and Mummy wore a black and cream spotty dress.  Daddy wore his wedding suit.  Mummy wished she could still fit in her wedding dress.  The boy minihumans wore smart shirts and ties.  Then Aunty Jackie, Uncle Sid, Georgie and Andrew came and they all went outside to wait for Nanny.

Mummy, Daddy and Grandad were waiting at the end of the drive trying to be brave but when they seen the hearse come round the corner with Nanny in it they all held hands and cried.  Grandad did go in the car behind Nanny with Aunty Jacke, Uncle Sid, Uncle Simon, Georgie and Andrew.  My humans and Aunty Sue come behind and Uncle Nick and his family at the back.

Then they drove to Southport Crematorium.  Them drove very very slowly until there was the biggest traffic jam in the world behind them.  Mummy said when she dies she doesn't want a big religious funeral but she would like a really slow procession to the crematorium cos she wants to be a nuisance right up to the end.  Aunty Sue said in Uganda, where her and Uncle Simon live, when there is a funeral or a wedding they have processions all through the town and trucks and buses and everybody joins in.

When them got to the crematorium there was about a hundred people waiting.  As my humans got out of the car Grandma and Grandad come out of the crowd and everybody hugged and kissed and it was all very sad.

The funeral was very sad too.  Uncle Nick said nice things about Nanny and Aunty Sue and Georgie did bible readings and they all sang a hymm.  Nanny wasn't a very religious lady but the hymm was the one from her and Grandad's wedding so her would have liked that.  Afterwards the curtains didn't close cos Grandad said he didn't want that.  Then they went to the golf club in the funeral cars.  Katie was too upset though and her wanted a cuddle off her Grandma so she went in Grandma and Grandad's car.

While they was in the car the solicitor phoned to ask if we could move on Monday 16th so Mummy checked they could get the day off work and checked the removal people could do it and they could so they booked it for the 16th.

At the golf club there was a hot and cold buffet lunch.  Mummy said I would have liked it cos there was bacon tarts and chikkin.  Then all the family went back to Grandad's house.  Them was sad that Nanny wasn't there cos she loved having all her family around her.  After dinner Grandma and Grandad went home and then Mummy and the minihumans had to drive all the way home too.  Them really didn't want to leave Daddy and Grandad but everybody was off work the next day so she had to be in.  She was very cross about this.

There was lots of traffic on the motorway and when them got to Ross On Wye the road was closed but there was no diversion marked so Mummy had to guess the route home.  You is not going to believe this but they made it home, in the pitch black and half asleep with no satnav or road map in ONE GO.  Honest, they did.  Mummy kept driving what felt South and she made it.   When they got home after midnight they was so tired they dumped all the bags in the hall and fell into bed.

Wednesday 4th September. In which we go to Uncle Jed's hotel.

Katie went back to school yesterday.   Daddy and Tom took us houndies to Uncle Jed's hotel.  Mummy had to stay behind cos she had to go to work and the mini humans had school.  Because there was nobody to look after Bryn yesterday he went to work with Mummy and sat in the upstairs office reading the hunger games.   He looked bored Mummy said but he said he didn't mind, under the circumstances.

On Wednesday Mummy went to work, the minihumans went to school and Daddy and Tom came to get us from Uncle Jed's.  They took us to Grandad's house cos Rosie, Hannah and Uncle Nick wanted to meet us.   They said we were very cute so we let them come for a walk with us.  But then we had to go back to Uncle Jed's and Daddy and Tom went to the chapel of rest to see Nanny.   Tom didn't want to see Nanny cos he wanted to remember her how she was but he went to keep Daddy company.  Daddy said he was glad he'd gone cos now he knew Nanny's soul had left her body and that was comforting.

After Mummy finished work and the minihumans finished school they got in the car and drove the 200 miles to Grandad's house.   They stopped at Knutsford Services on the way so the minihumans could have tea.  Mummy said it was the worst services she ever saw in her whole life and she was surprised the minihumans didn't get tummy ache after eating there.

When they got to Grandad's house the grown up humans had snossijs, beans and baked potatoes for tea what Aunty Sue made.  Then they played scrabble but some people cheated and said all Mummy's words didn't exist.

Saturday 31st August. In which Bessie has her teefies cleaned.

So many things to tell you.  Where do I start?    Firstly me would like to say a big hello to all me new followers.  Couldn't help but notice how many views there have been recently.  Sorry there has been nothing to read for so long (and I fear that some of you will be dissapointed not to see their own names in print.  *waves goodbye*).

On Tuesday I went to the V E T to have my teefies cleaned.   They only had to take one out and I was a good girl and didn't bite anyone.  I did do a poo in the waiting room while Mummy was paying but the receptionist cleaned it up and said that it was OK cos I had been in my crate all day.

Daddy went up Norf to be with Grandad.  Him stayed until Friday.

Nanny part 2. By Bessie

...As I said we is on our way back from Inca and Rufus's house when Daddy's phone rings but he is driving so Mummy answers and it is Grandad.  He won't say what he wants but he says Daddy has to phone him straight back.    So Daddy is looking everywhere for somewhere to stop and typical there is nowhere and it takes ages.  Then Mummy's phone rings and it is Tom saying Grandad said we have to phone him urgently.

So Daddy pulls over and phones Grandad and Grandad says that Nanny is in intensive care and she is very poorly.  So we decides our road trip is over, we needs to get home so Daddy can get ready to go and see Nanny.  So we looks for the motorway and we goes straight home.  Daddy very worried.   Grandad says she got thin skin cos she has to take a lot of cortisone for her rheumatism otherwise she in constant agony and she caught her fingernail on her leg and cut it.  Only a little bit but it didn't heal and she got septicemia.   She been to cousin Georgie's on Friday and had a big lunch and laughing and joking around like always but by Monday she so sick Grandad had to call for an ambulance.

We gets home late and everybody goes to bed early to be ready for the next day.  But then Uncle Nick phones very early and say Nanny has passed away.  We is all devastated.   Daddy gets in his car and goes to be with Grandad.   Mummy and Daddy's boss in on holiday in Canadaland so Mummy has to go in work all week otherwise Matt is all on his own.   The minihumans and us stay home and comfort each other.

Daddy comes home on Thursday.  He is very very sad as you can imagine.    The funeral is next Thursday.   Daddy and Tom are going up on Tuesday and they going to take us houndies to Uncle Jed's hotel for discerning ladies and gentledogs.   Katie is back to school on Tuesday.  Bryn is back to school on Wednesday.  Mummy going to try and get out of work early if she can on Wednesday - it hard cos all the bosses are coming for a meeting with her boss so she has to stay in the office and help Matt but she hope they have left by three so she can go and get the minihumans and then they can go straight to Nanny and Grandads house.   Then she has to come back with the minihumans straight after the wake cos she has to go to work on Friday cos there is only one person in again.   She wishes she worked somewhere with lots of staff sometimes.  It's very awkward to arrange things in an emergency.

In other news the solicitor says we should exchange contracts early next week and we got a letter yesterday asking us to phone her to arrange a completion date.   The humans celebrated this news by dismantling the spare bed.  So don't come and stay with us before we move will you or you'll be sleeping on the floor.

Our weekend at Inca and Rufus's house

Last Saturday we went to stay at Inca's house.    Carly and Lotty stayed home with Tom again cos they are too silly for other peoples houses.  We went to Temple Newsam.  This is a massive park in Leeds.  Aunty Lynda and Aunty Kath came too with Uncle Mick and Uncle Chris and their doggies Saffie, Bracken, Jack and Annie BLUEbell.   I didn't just shout Annie BLUEbell by the way.  She has capital letters in her name in honour of Blue.

We went for a lovely walk round the park and some of us went in the pond.  Or maybe it was a lake, I'm not sure.  Anyway I didn't, I sat on the bank with Saffie and watched the others swimming.  Annie BLUEbell fell in.  I shouldn't laugh but it was funny.  

Then we went and sat outside the big house and had our picnic.   MummyLouise made a nice picnic Mummy says. Us houndies just got a few crisps and some water cos apparently dogs don't eat picnics.

Later we went to the working mans club to watch a band.   Inca and Rufus didn't come but I didn't want to stay home so I went with the humans.   I sat and watched the band, they were quite good.  Not as good as Brynny obviously.  Daddy was happy cos the beer was cheap.  A little girl wanted to play with me but she kept trying to feed me gravel.  I don't eat gravel so her and Katie put the gravel on my back instead.  Mean that is.

Then we come home and had tea and the humans played board games but me and Inca and Rufus didn't cos we are dogs and dogs don't play board games.

On the way home we decided not to just go on the motorway cos that is boring so we went on a road trip.   First we went to Wakefield and Daddy showed us the very first house he ever bought.

Then Daddy looked on a map and said Denby Dale sounded like a nice place for a picnic so we went there but there wasn't anywhere interesting to stop and eat so we carried on for a bit and stopped at some rest stop on the pennine way to eat the packed lunch that MummyLouise had made for us.

Then we got on the road again and Daddy said we was going to drive right past our friends Craig and Wanda's house and should we call in and see them.  Mummy said you can't just turn up but he said it would be OK if we just popped in for a cup of tea and anyway it's 2pm on a bank holiday so they probably be out anyway.

He was right, they were out so we went to Stone instead.  This is the town where Nanny was born.  We went to see the house where she was born and we went to the park and used the facilities (toilets for the humans, bowling green for me haha not really) and then went to the corner shop for a drink.

Then we just got back on the road and we is heading towards Stafford when Daddy's phone rings...

To be continued...

Nanny. By Bessie

I will tell you all about our weekend at Inca's house soon.  But first me tell you the bad news.  Our Nanny died on Tuesday.   She wasn't sick.  She died really suddenly and we is all very shocked and upset.

********************Just because this paragraph isn't here any more doesn't mean what was there wasn't true**************************

Anyway that's all me got to say for now.  Like me say, normal service will be resumed  as soon as possible.

hang on a minute...

NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE 

RESUMED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

The stork rides a bike. By Bessie

Today Mummy, Katie and me went to the doggy dentist.  On the way we passed a stork carrying a baby in it's mouth riding a bicycle.   When we told Tom later what we saw him didn't believe us.  But we really did.   Mummy kept laughing all day the more she thought about it.  She say why did the stork be riding the bike in full fancy dress costume?

Anyway then we go to the doggy dentist (aka the V E T).  This is what me can report from the V E T:

1. I am 6. Not eleventyseven like Mummy tells everyone.2. I does not have an ear infection. Just dirty ears.3. I is 24.5kg precisely.4. I is fat. Parrently. Now I is on a diet.5. I is having a Hannahs-pathetic on Tuesday so them can clean my teefies.6. I does not need any teefies pulling out cos they is all nice teefies.7. I has a heart murmour.

Then we went to Pets at Home and I wanted to do a wee under the tree like I always do but all the grass has died so me just did my wee on the pavement.  Then we picked some nice food what taste good but not make me fat.  We got some soft food too in case my mouth is sore on Tuesday.Then we come home and Mummy made two chikin casseroles.  She made one with veggies in for the humans and one what was just chikin for us houndies.

Tomorrow we is going to Inca and Rufus's house.  Me will tell you all about it when me gets back.

Part 2 of why I'm glad I don't have to go to work. By Bessie

Conversation in Mummy's work today:

Matt:        "Why are brake, like brakes on a car, and break, like tea break, spelt differently when they mean the same thing?
Daddy:     "Because they don't mean the same thing."
Matt:        "Yes they do, they both mean stop."
Daddy:     "It's all part of the rich tapestry of the English Language."
Mummy:   "Ah yes I forgot you were such an expert wordsmith."
Daddy:     "I am.  I know the difference between there, their and they're.  And I'm good at spelling."
Mummy:  "Spell AMEND."
Daddy:    "A Double M..."
Matt:       "No, it's E Double M..."
Mummy:  "No you're both wrong."
Daddy:    "Who say's you're right?   You might be wrong."
Mummy:  "Mr Collins, Mr Oxford and Rogiet.   That's who."
Daddy:    "They don't know everything.  Rogiet's not even English.  And Mr Collins sounds Scottish."
Mummy:  "Kill me now."

Why I am glad I don't have to go to work. By Bessie

The car radio is playing Kings of Leon:
Mummy:     "Can we stop at a chemist on the way back from work please?"
Daddy:       "If you like.  Why?"
Mummy:     "Wait for it...wait for it...AAAHHHHHHH MY SEX IS ON FIRE."
Daddy:       "Oh."
Mummy:     "Thanks for setting my joke up for me."
Daddy:       "So do you need to go to the chemist or not?"


Mummy opens the microwave to put her lunch in and there are three boxes of cereal in there.   "Oh yes," says Daddy, "The mice can't open the microwave door."
What a classy place they work in.

Mummy goes into the warehouse to talk to the sawyer but him and the warehouse man have swapped jobs for the day.  When she asks why she is told the sawyer is being punished for having a day off sick yesterday.

Mummy:     "I need the toilet."
Daddy:       "Go then."
Mummy:    "I can't.  I don't just need a wee."
Daddy:      "So you're going to hold it in all day?"
Mummy:   "If I have to."

In which we become packet hounds, Katie becomes a store detective and Mummy becomes a lesbian. By Bessie

When we was on our walk this woman come up and asked, "Are they breeders?  My son wants one."  Tom tells her we certainly is not breeders.  Then another woman comes up and asks what we is.  The first woman tells her we is basset hounds.  "Packet hounds?" Says lady number two, "I love packet hounds."

Mummy and Katie went to the Range.   This is a shop what sells stuff for the house, not like the wild west type of range.   While they is there they has baked potatoes in the cafe.   But when the potatoes arrive them has no butter on so Mummy goes to the counter to ask for butter.  "Do you want butter or flora?" Asks the boy.   Katie says him was a man and his eyebrows was a bit too big, Mummy says him was a boy and if her was much younger and single and it was a long time ago before her had even met Daddy her would flirt with him, but her is none of them things so her didn't.  Katie says that's a lot of what ifs.  Anyway, back to the story.   So her says flora even though she really wanted butter.  When her comes back and tells Katie this Mummy say the man only ask her cos she is so fat.   Katie says, "You're not even that fat."   "Thanks for the compliment," Mummy says.   "No, I didn't mean that.  I meant you're not that fat."  Says Katie, then as Mummy gets her special notepad out that her makes blog notes in Katie says, "Don't write that down, it will make me look really bad."   So if she asks, we didn't write that down.

There was a family at the next table, Mummy, Daddy and a grown up son.   Mummy and Daddy both go to the toilet leaving grown up son at the table looking after the hot choklits.   My Mummy is sat with her back to him, Katie facing him.  Mummy gets a text and her says, "Ooh who texting me?"  Katie whispers, "It's me."  Her texts Mummy to tell her the man at the next table drank his hot choklit then swapped it with his dads cup what was nearly full.  Then drank that one too.   The funny bit is though that he was being really sneaky about it and trying to nudge the cup over without anyone seeing, like him thought someone might tell his Mummy and Daddy on him.   Mummy did BOL very loud at this.   Then when Mummy and Katie's food arrived the man shouts at the serving people because his food not arrived yet.   "You haven't ordered any food," shouts serving man.   "Yes I have," he says.   "No, there are no food orders waiting," says serving man.  "Wait til my mum gets back." Says man at table.  Serving man ignores him.  Everyone else ignores him too.   So he gets up and goes to look for his Mum and Dad.   In the meantime someone clears their table and throws away his Mum's hot choklit what he had probably been planning to drink too.   So when the whole family comes back they is very cross and they all go to the till to complain.  Well, we didn't hear what was said but them walked off without any food or hot choklits.  Katie said she saw them later looking guilty, them was probably shoplifting.  Mummy say this was a man who made drinking someone's hot choklit look as guilty as if he was stealing the crown jewels, so him had probably taken a paint sample strip and a leaflet for JML crappy products and was looking guilty about it.

After lunch Mummy and Katie went to look at the kitchen gadgets in Asda.  Mummy put two silicone egg poachers on her boobs and said it was a cupless bra.  Katie ask do she not mean a strapless bra?  A cupless bra would be pretty useless.   Mummy do laugh so hard at this her nearly weed herself in the middle of Asda.   Her is so adolescent.  Then she tried on lipsticks, Katie say this makes her a lesbian now cos she is as good as kissing all the other women who tried on the lipstick before.

13 doggies go mad in Penarth. By Bessie

Today us 3 houndies did go for a walk round Cosmeston Lakes in Penarth with Mummy, Daddy, Tom, Bryn and our friends.   Katie was sposed to be coming too but then when it came to getting out of bed she couldn't be bothered so she stayed at home.

We was driving into the car park when we seen some people standing next to their car with a basset.  We has never seen these people before but Mummy think maybe them is someone who is coming on our walk but they never rsvped.   So she parks next to them and asks "Are you with us?"   The lady goes, "Er no" and Mummy say, "Oh sorry it's just you have a basset and the basset club of Wales is meeting today."  So the people come over to talk and their basset is only a 11 month old baby and him very cute and we get out the car and do meet and greet and them Mummy says they is welcome to join us for a walk but we isn't leaving for another hour.  Then the people say "Ok Bye."  And off they go.

So we have our breakfast and then Mummy says to Daddy there is better parking spots up by where we is sposed to be meeting everybody so can he move the car over there.  So he does and then all the humans and minihumans and houndies does arrive.   There is 13 doggies and lots and lots of minihumans, me has never seen so many minihumans on a walk.  Katie did miss out on this walk me do think.   While we is waiting the people with the basset come back and Mummy says "See I told you there were going to be more".  And their little basset has a great time meeting all the bigger bassets, but then they say goodbye and walk away and everybody say doesn't they want to walk with us but they say they have finished their walk and is going home now.

When we is all arrived Daddy takes a group photo and then we goes off on our walk.  First we all has to stop for a poo.  This is the first rule of going for a walk.  It doesn't matter how long you is waiting in the car park, you has to wait until you is away from the bins and on your walk before you does your poos.

We has a great time on our walk.  We does poos and we all runs and chases and Mr Wayne offers Daddy a snossij and Daddy eats it and then Mr Wayne tells Daddy it was a doggy tripe snossij.  Oh we was so embarrassed, Daddy really will eat anything if it is free.

Then we meets that basset and bloodhound we saw when we were here the other week but him didn't want to stop and talk to us.  Him didn't last time either.    Then we went down by the lake and had our picnic.  We had loads of different kinds of snossijs and tripe sticks and the humans had sandwiches and fruit and stuff.   Some of us paddled and Louie and Rollo and some of the braver bassets even swimmed.  Shirley and Lotty win the prize for swimming furthest out.

After lunch we met another baby basset, his name was Alfie and he was only 7 months old.  Everybody wanted to love him cos him was so sweet.  Him and his humans walked with us for a little bit.  

And then we got back to the car park and Mr John and Miss Julie and Miss Louise and Mr Dave had to go but the rest of us sat next to the cars and shared Mr Wayne's picnic.  We all agreed that him had the best picnic we had ever seen.  Him had more food in his cool box than we has in our entire house (that isn't even an exaggeration).

we likes....By Bessie.

 we likes pretty collars

Mummy likes candles

Recipe for salted caramel cheesecake

Ingredients:
150g ginger nut biscuits
150g hobnobs or oaty type biscuits
100g butter
1tbsp golden syrup
500g cream cheese.   We used 2 tubs of quark cos it's virtually fat free so you don't feel quite so bad about eating it.
100g caster sugar
120g double cream.  I know you is supposed to measure cream in liquid measures but it easier to weigh it if you asks me.
1tbsp lemon juice
2tsp vanilla essence
1 jar of Tesco finest salted caramel dessert sauce.    I knows this is a very specific ingredient and if you wants to use some other kind of dessert sauce or whatever then you can but trust me when I tell you that this partikliar one is the bestest in the world.

How to make the cheesecake:

Preheat oven to 180c.Grease 8" loose bottomed cake tin.   Put the biscuits in a bag what seals and crush with a rolling pin or in the blender.  It's much quicker in the blender but we haven't got one anymore cos last time we was making cheesecake the little boy next door knocked on the front door to ask for his ball back and Mummy jumped and the top of the blender fell off the base and the cog thingy blew up and there was smoke everywhere.  So it's in the bin now.  We don't have a blender anymore.
Melt butter and syrup in a bowl in the microwave (or over a pan of hot water if you is old fashioned).
Mix with the crushed biscuits, then pack firmly into the bottom of the cake tin.
Bake for 10 minutes.
Cool for 20 minutes..
.In the meantime...
Beat the cream cheese, sugar, lemon juice and vanilla essence.
In a separate bowl whip the cream til its dead firm.
Fold the whipped cream into the cheese mixture.
Open the jar of salted caramel dessert sauce.   Lick all the sauce off the lid.   This is a very important step.Spread most of the sauce over the cooled biscuit base, remembering to save a little bit so you can eat it with your fingers or paws.
Spoon the creamy cheese topping on top of the sauce.
Put it in the fridge overnight or at least for a few hours.
EAT IT UP.   Like this OMNOMNOMNOM

*P.S.   We have made variations of this cake.   They include using raspberry or strawberry dessert sauce instead of salted caramel and one that went down partikly well with the minihumans was using 2 tubs of choklit philadelphia cheese instead of ordinary cream cheese to make a choklit cheesecake.  You can also add a layer of belgian choklit sauce but you don't need it, the creamy cheese bit is choklity enough on it's own.

Recipe for Banana and Nutella Muffins

Ingredients:

250g self raising flour
100g caster sugar
125g butter
2 eggs
100ml milk
2 large or 3 small ripe bananas, mashed
150g nutella

How to:

Preheat oven to 180c.
In large bowl mix egg, sugar and butter.
Mix in banana and nutella.
Add milk.
Add flour.
Put mixture into muffin cases in muffin tins.
Bake for 20-25 mins until skewer comes out dry.
Decorate with melted chocolate and sprinkles if you like.

Makes 12-15

Recipe for Blackberry Crumb Bars

We adapted this recipe from one we found on pinterest so we could do something with all the blackberries in the garden:

Ingredients:

1 cup caster sugar (we don't know what 1 cup is but we figured so long as we use the same ratio of flour, butter and sugar it doesn't matter so we used a teacup as a measuring cup)

3 cups self raising flour

1 cup butter

1 egg

pinch of salt

splash of lemon juice

3 cups fresh blackberries (we had frozen them and just run the under the hot tap and chopped them up)

How to:

Preheat oven to 180c.

Grease medium sized deep baking tray.

In a large bowl stir together sugar and flour.

Add salt and lemon juice.   

Add butter and egg and mix to a crumbly dough.

Pat about two thirds of the dough firmly into the baking tray to make a thick layer that covers the entire base.

Spread chopped blackberries all over the top of the crumble base.

Sprinkle the rest of the crumble over the top.

Bake for about 20-25 minutes until slightly browned.

Cool before cutting into squares.

I will never eat tangy toms again. By Bessie.

Yesterday I went down the village with Katie and Alex.  We was sat outside One Stop, minding our own business and eating chips, when this woman goes past and gives Katie a dirty look.   Katie said it was because Katie was blowing on chips for me.   Daddy said afterwards maybe it was because she was feeding chips to a fat dog.   Well, I was very cross.  I'm not fat.  I'm big boned.  It's a medical fact.  Katie said no it couldn't possibly be that, anyway I only had 10 chips.

Then another lady comes up and says "Hello Bessie."  Katie not know how this lady knows my name.  She gives the lady a puzzled look and the lady says she seen me down here the other day.  Me is very impressed cos this the first time me been out on my own without Carly and Lotty for ages so for her to recognise one of us on our own is very good.  I likes this lady.  She can be in my gang if she likes.

The night before last Mummy tried to clip our toenails.  She got 2 of Carly's before she run off, one of mine before she got bit and Lotty bit her before she even tried.  So she put the clippers away.   Then last night she gets them out again.  She gets one of Carly's and one of mine and then Lotty bit her, just in case.  So this morning she phoned Miss Judith and made an appointment.  So this afternoon we gets in the car with Mummy and Katie.  We thinks we is going somewhere exciting but all we did was drive to the car park in town and then walk to Miss Judith's house.  Katie say why do we not just park outside Miss Judith's house but Mummy said it was good exercise to walk but it was a bit too far to walk from home.  When we gets to Miss Judith's all her dogs is in the garden so we take it in turns to sit outside with Katie and play with the dogs while the others gets their nails done.  Miss Judith is better at nails than Mummy so her doesn't get bitted and we can't run off cos her has chained us to a table.  Anyway me do admit our nails does look and feel nicer.  Mummy says to Miss Judith her will see her again very soon cos her not going to try and do it herself next time.  Me doesn't like to remind Mummy that we is moving house in a few weeks and her has vowed not to step foot in this town again.   Me also does not like to remind Mummy that her dentist is here too.  Me do think we will still have to come back for human teefies and houndy feeties.

Then we walks back to the car park.   I stops to do a poo on the pavement.  Then Mummy realises she was in such a rush to leave the house that she forgot to put any poo bags in her pocket.  Katie hasn't got any either and it's a really big and really smelly poo right in the middle of a busy street.  So Mummy look round and see a crisp packet on the floor.  So her picks it up but because the poo is so big her can't pick it up by putting her hand round it and turning the bag inside out like you do with a poo bag so her has to open the crisp packet up into a big sheet and pick the poo up that way.  Then her had to carry it until we found a bin.  Luckily there was one about a hundred yards away.   Mummy says it's a good job she never liked Tangy Tom crisps.   Katie sad because she did, but she never eating them again after today.

As we walks past the village Katie ask if we can go and buy lunch but Mummy say we got food at home and anyway she is on a diet.  Katie say her doesn't need to diet, the Queen Latifa look is very now.   We think this might be an insult but we not sure.  Either way she didn't get a bag of chips bought for her.   We went home and Mummy cooked pizza for everyone.

I had a sleep cos I was soooooo tired after my being forced to go for a walk and having all my nails stolen and watching Mummy pick up my poo with a crisp packet.