Part 2 of why I'm glad I don't have to go to work. By Bessie

Conversation in Mummy's work today:

Matt:        "Why are brake, like brakes on a car, and break, like tea break, spelt differently when they mean the same thing?
Daddy:     "Because they don't mean the same thing."
Matt:        "Yes they do, they both mean stop."
Daddy:     "It's all part of the rich tapestry of the English Language."
Mummy:   "Ah yes I forgot you were such an expert wordsmith."
Daddy:     "I am.  I know the difference between there, their and they're.  And I'm good at spelling."
Mummy:  "Spell AMEND."
Daddy:    "A Double M..."
Matt:       "No, it's E Double M..."
Mummy:  "No you're both wrong."
Daddy:    "Who say's you're right?   You might be wrong."
Mummy:  "Mr Collins, Mr Oxford and Rogiet.   That's who."
Daddy:    "They don't know everything.  Rogiet's not even English.  And Mr Collins sounds Scottish."
Mummy:  "Kill me now."