What does happen if it gets stuck up your bum? By Bessie

Before me start 2 things what amused me.  Firstly, Mummy overheard an old woman say to an old man in Tesco, "But what happens if it gets stuck up your bum?"

Secondly, Mummy said she'd like to try and make a savoury cheesecake.   But she said you'd have to use cream crackers instead of sweet biscuits and you could have veggies or bacon in it.   Tom said, "So you just invented quiche?"   Her laughs and says, "Oh yeah, it's quiche."    This would have been acceptable had her not had the exact same conversation about a month later.   Tom says, "Quiche.  Remember."  And her looked at him with a vacant expression and then goes "Oh yeah haha, you already told me that."

Anyway, and please excuse me if most of this does not make sense but I is still tired from a six mile walk yesterday and my typist was up til 4.30am writing her book so she's a bit half asleep.

Yesterday we went on a walk with our friends.  The weather forecast said it would be light showers where we is going.   But as we set off to drive there it starts to rain.   It gets heavier and heavier and heavier until by the time we arrives it is raining so hard we doesn't even get out the car, we is thinking we might just wait for Mr Dave and Miss Tara and then say sorry but we is going home.   So we waits, and Mr Dave and Miss Tara comes and Miss Tara gives Mummy a bootiful blankie and cushion what she loves and some beans from the garden what her had for tea.  Mr Dave says it will blow over soon.   Then Mr Guy gets out of his car and says, "Are we walking?"  And Mummy says, "Mr Dave said it will blow over."   Mr Guy says, "What?  The weather or you?"   Her say she will probably.  Then we hounds all get out the cars and do meets and greets and a few more people arrive until there is 14 houndies and 10 humans and off we goes.    Miss Tara had to go home for a emergency, we was sad that our friends did have to leave early.   We stopped at the pub for lunch, Mr Dave went inside for a pint but most of us felt guilty going into a busy pub with so many big wet dogs so we had our picnic on the benches outside.  We shared our snossijs with our new friend Louis, who Lotty did like lots and lots and flirted with him all day.  After lunch it stopped raining and we had a nice walk for the last bit.  

Watch the video here