In which we become packet hounds, Katie becomes a store detective and Mummy becomes a lesbian. By Bessie

When we was on our walk this woman come up and asked, "Are they breeders?  My son wants one."  Tom tells her we certainly is not breeders.  Then another woman comes up and asks what we is.  The first woman tells her we is basset hounds.  "Packet hounds?" Says lady number two, "I love packet hounds."

Mummy and Katie went to the Range.   This is a shop what sells stuff for the house, not like the wild west type of range.   While they is there they has baked potatoes in the cafe.   But when the potatoes arrive them has no butter on so Mummy goes to the counter to ask for butter.  "Do you want butter or flora?" Asks the boy.   Katie says him was a man and his eyebrows was a bit too big, Mummy says him was a boy and if her was much younger and single and it was a long time ago before her had even met Daddy her would flirt with him, but her is none of them things so her didn't.  Katie says that's a lot of what ifs.  Anyway, back to the story.   So her says flora even though she really wanted butter.  When her comes back and tells Katie this Mummy say the man only ask her cos she is so fat.   Katie says, "You're not even that fat."   "Thanks for the compliment," Mummy says.   "No, I didn't mean that.  I meant you're not that fat."  Says Katie, then as Mummy gets her special notepad out that her makes blog notes in Katie says, "Don't write that down, it will make me look really bad."   So if she asks, we didn't write that down.

There was a family at the next table, Mummy, Daddy and a grown up son.   Mummy and Daddy both go to the toilet leaving grown up son at the table looking after the hot choklits.   My Mummy is sat with her back to him, Katie facing him.  Mummy gets a text and her says, "Ooh who texting me?"  Katie whispers, "It's me."  Her texts Mummy to tell her the man at the next table drank his hot choklit then swapped it with his dads cup what was nearly full.  Then drank that one too.   The funny bit is though that he was being really sneaky about it and trying to nudge the cup over without anyone seeing, like him thought someone might tell his Mummy and Daddy on him.   Mummy did BOL very loud at this.   Then when Mummy and Katie's food arrived the man shouts at the serving people because his food not arrived yet.   "You haven't ordered any food," shouts serving man.   "Yes I have," he says.   "No, there are no food orders waiting," says serving man.  "Wait til my mum gets back." Says man at table.  Serving man ignores him.  Everyone else ignores him too.   So he gets up and goes to look for his Mum and Dad.   In the meantime someone clears their table and throws away his Mum's hot choklit what he had probably been planning to drink too.   So when the whole family comes back they is very cross and they all go to the till to complain.  Well, we didn't hear what was said but them walked off without any food or hot choklits.  Katie said she saw them later looking guilty, them was probably shoplifting.  Mummy say this was a man who made drinking someone's hot choklit look as guilty as if he was stealing the crown jewels, so him had probably taken a paint sample strip and a leaflet for JML crappy products and was looking guilty about it.

After lunch Mummy and Katie went to look at the kitchen gadgets in Asda.  Mummy put two silicone egg poachers on her boobs and said it was a cupless bra.  Katie ask do she not mean a strapless bra?  A cupless bra would be pretty useless.   Mummy do laugh so hard at this her nearly weed herself in the middle of Asda.   Her is so adolescent.  Then she tried on lipsticks, Katie say this makes her a lesbian now cos she is as good as kissing all the other women who tried on the lipstick before.