Why I am glad I don't have to go to work. By Bessie

The car radio is playing Kings of Leon:
Mummy:     "Can we stop at a chemist on the way back from work please?"
Daddy:       "If you like.  Why?"
Mummy:     "Wait for it...wait for it...AAAHHHHHHH MY SEX IS ON FIRE."
Daddy:       "Oh."
Mummy:     "Thanks for setting my joke up for me."
Daddy:       "So do you need to go to the chemist or not?"


Mummy opens the microwave to put her lunch in and there are three boxes of cereal in there.   "Oh yes," says Daddy, "The mice can't open the microwave door."
What a classy place they work in.

Mummy goes into the warehouse to talk to the sawyer but him and the warehouse man have swapped jobs for the day.  When she asks why she is told the sawyer is being punished for having a day off sick yesterday.

Mummy:     "I need the toilet."
Daddy:       "Go then."
Mummy:    "I can't.  I don't just need a wee."
Daddy:      "So you're going to hold it in all day?"
Mummy:   "If I have to."