I will never eat tangy toms again. By Bessie.

Yesterday I went down the village with Katie and Alex.  We was sat outside One Stop, minding our own business and eating chips, when this woman goes past and gives Katie a dirty look.   Katie said it was because Katie was blowing on chips for me.   Daddy said afterwards maybe it was because she was feeding chips to a fat dog.   Well, I was very cross.  I'm not fat.  I'm big boned.  It's a medical fact.  Katie said no it couldn't possibly be that, anyway I only had 10 chips.

Then another lady comes up and says "Hello Bessie."  Katie not know how this lady knows my name.  She gives the lady a puzzled look and the lady says she seen me down here the other day.  Me is very impressed cos this the first time me been out on my own without Carly and Lotty for ages so for her to recognise one of us on our own is very good.  I likes this lady.  She can be in my gang if she likes.

The night before last Mummy tried to clip our toenails.  She got 2 of Carly's before she run off, one of mine before she got bit and Lotty bit her before she even tried.  So she put the clippers away.   Then last night she gets them out again.  She gets one of Carly's and one of mine and then Lotty bit her, just in case.  So this morning she phoned Miss Judith and made an appointment.  So this afternoon we gets in the car with Mummy and Katie.  We thinks we is going somewhere exciting but all we did was drive to the car park in town and then walk to Miss Judith's house.  Katie say why do we not just park outside Miss Judith's house but Mummy said it was good exercise to walk but it was a bit too far to walk from home.  When we gets to Miss Judith's all her dogs is in the garden so we take it in turns to sit outside with Katie and play with the dogs while the others gets their nails done.  Miss Judith is better at nails than Mummy so her doesn't get bitted and we can't run off cos her has chained us to a table.  Anyway me do admit our nails does look and feel nicer.  Mummy says to Miss Judith her will see her again very soon cos her not going to try and do it herself next time.  Me doesn't like to remind Mummy that we is moving house in a few weeks and her has vowed not to step foot in this town again.   Me also does not like to remind Mummy that her dentist is here too.  Me do think we will still have to come back for human teefies and houndy feeties.

Then we walks back to the car park.   I stops to do a poo on the pavement.  Then Mummy realises she was in such a rush to leave the house that she forgot to put any poo bags in her pocket.  Katie hasn't got any either and it's a really big and really smelly poo right in the middle of a busy street.  So Mummy look round and see a crisp packet on the floor.  So her picks it up but because the poo is so big her can't pick it up by putting her hand round it and turning the bag inside out like you do with a poo bag so her has to open the crisp packet up into a big sheet and pick the poo up that way.  Then her had to carry it until we found a bin.  Luckily there was one about a hundred yards away.   Mummy says it's a good job she never liked Tangy Tom crisps.   Katie sad because she did, but she never eating them again after today.

As we walks past the village Katie ask if we can go and buy lunch but Mummy say we got food at home and anyway she is on a diet.  Katie say her doesn't need to diet, the Queen Latifa look is very now.   We think this might be an insult but we not sure.  Either way she didn't get a bag of chips bought for her.   We went home and Mummy cooked pizza for everyone.

I had a sleep cos I was soooooo tired after my being forced to go for a walk and having all my nails stolen and watching Mummy pick up my poo with a crisp packet.