Daddy. No. Not nice. By Bessie

I has to tell you this cos it made us BOL. Daddy went on a first aid course today and as an icebreaking exercise they had to say 3 people they would invite to their fantasy dinner party. Daddy could only think of 2 (him was going to say the ones Mummy always say but him could hardly say it cos him fancies them like Mummy always says). So him say James May cos them can talk about cars and man stuff. And Nigella Lawson so her could cook the dinner! When him told us this story Mummy did spank him hard and Bryn say would Daddy sit next to her so him could look down her top and Daddy say him would make sure him got the odd chair what didn't reach the table - like when you is at your Grandma's for Christmas dinner and one of you has to sit on a footstool - so him would be low enough to look down her top. Mummy say Daddy is a chauvinist pig, a pervert and a big pikey for having a posh dinner party and not having enough matching chairs.