Mummy goes a bit senile. By Bessie

Yesterday Mummy phoned the V E T to check if we was all up to date with our vaccinations and them said yes except Lotty hasn't got kennel cough.  So Mummy and Daddy took Lotty to get her kennel cough nose squirt and them saw that aussie V E T who always makes rude comments about bassets getting fat and looking like coffee tables.  Her has never met me.  I wonder what her would say about me.  Her probably think I look like a conference table.  Then her went to sign the vaccination card and realised that when we first took Lotty for her injections cos she had never had them at her last home she was supposed to have puppy vaccinations and was supposed to go back two weeks for the next lot.  Except nobody told Mummy this so she thought Lotty was just having an annual booster.  Anyway luckily she had been charged for the course so she didn't need to pay again so the V E T started Lotty's puppy vaccinations again and Mummy got to remember to take her back for the other one this time.  Then when them came out to pay for the kenel cough the receptionist say they can't go out yet cos the police are outside with a dangerous dog.  So they waited inside for a bit then the receptionist went and checked and said they can go but to go quickly past the police van and not get too close so them did that.  There was 3 police officers with them long sticks with hooks on the end, and 4 V E Ts and the van was shaking all over the place and the dog was woofing it's head off.  Mummy said it was very upsetting.  That must be a horrible part of the police and the V E Ts jobs to deal with them situations.  Them couldn't see the dog cos it was inside the van but the back door was open and through the bars of the cage them could see the outline, it was big and black with a white panel on its chest, that is all they could see.  Me wish the dog was being taken somewhere safe but me think probably not.  :(

Lotty got weighed at the V E T and she is 17.2 kilos.  That mean she put on 3 kilos so we is all happy about that.  Then them took her to pets at home and the lady in there gave her some biscuits and them brought some tripe home for our tea.

Daddy made a bird table yesterday and when Mummy came down for breakfast today she looked out the window and there was a robin on the table and she goes "OOH a bird on the table" and Daddy and Bryn was like "yeah whatever" and her thought them was being a bit uninterested.  Then her came back a bit later and the bird was still there so Mummy was scared that it had got frozed onto the table overnight so she went out to look and Daddy and Bryn had taken one of the pretend birds off the christmas tree and stuck it on the bird table.  Mummy was cross and said they were a**eholes.  And they just laughed at her and said they had planned to stick it in a different spot on the table every day til christmas when they was going to put the one with the christmas hat there.

Then we did go to the basset club christmas party and on the way we went round this big sharp bend and Daddy shouts "Sorry doggies" but we did poop in the boot anyway so it was a teeny bit stinky and all the humans was retching and hanging thems head out the windows so Daddy stopped in a layby and Mummy cleaned all the poo out of the back of the car with wet wipes and she put all the poo and dirty wipes in a poo bag and then we all got back in the car and we drove for a bit then Mummy realised her hands stinked of poo so she says to Daddy he needs to stop so she can get the wet wipes out of the accident cleaning kit they keep in the boot.  So Daddy stops again and we all get out again and then he opens the box and the wet wipes is not there then Mummy remembers she put the wet wipes and the bag of poo on the roof of the car and them not there now.  Then Daddy says Mummy is stupid for leaving anything on the boot and she says I know I've got a crap memory and them all laughs at the thought of someone driving along and the poo flying off the roof and hitting their windscreen and them would go "OH MY GOD I need something to clean that up with" and then a second later a bag of wet wipes would hit their windscreen and them would think them had been sent by God.  We did laugh until our heads was hurting.  Then we saw a Sainsburys and Daddy ask Mummy if she want to stop so she can go in and wash her hands and her say no we is nearly there now.  So her just held her hands in front of her the rest of the way and made sure not to put them near her face.

When we got to the basset show we did meet and greets with all our friends and there was a fun show and we won first prize in the fancy dress AGAIN YAY US.  And the humans had baked potatoes and macaroni cheese or beef stew for their lunch and they put Lotty and Carly in the cage while they eated cos they is naughty and I was allowed to sit on the mat.  Except I may have jumped up a couple of times but the beef stew did smell yummy.  And we met Santa.  Him looked a bit like Uncle Alan, but him must be the real Santa cos him had a basset with him and me does know the real Santa loves bassets.

On the way home we got near the lay by where we had stopped and Mummy had put the wet wipes and poo on the roof and Mummy said she wonder if they will see them and Daddy says does her want him to stop if they do and her say not to worry them was only asda smart price not johnsons.  Anyway then they see this huge mess of wet wipes covered in muck at the side of the road and Daddy says is Mummy sure her doesn't want her wet wipes back?  Them didn't see the poo though.