In which Bryn has a birthday, we gets sweared at and Mummy tries to steal someone else's rubbish. By Bessie

Yesterday is Brynny's birthday.   He is 12.    He got a pair of jeans and 2 t-shirts and money off us and he got a t-shirt and money off Grandma and Grandad and money off everybody else.   So of course he had to go out and spend his money.  Well it very hot yesterday so Mummy say it too hot to leave us home in our princess cage on our own and all the humans was going out so we all went too.   We went to Bristol.  So we is driving along to the car park what we always go to and Mummy and Daddy say it probly be full but we check anyway but when we get there we see there is hardly any cars parked there.   Hmm this very strange them think, until they go to the pay machine and realise them has changed the fees.  Now you can't park all day for £3 any more, it is £5 for 5 hours and you can't stay any longer.  So we gets back in the car and drives off and parks down a side street for free.

We took 2 massive bottles of water and sun cream and a blanky for naps.   We did stop lots for drinky breaks and to sit in the shade and have cold water splashed on our faces and feeties and we sits in the shade for lunch, the humans has pasties and we has chewies.

Bryn did get a nice geetar with his birthday money but then the humans say it too hot to walk so we starts to walk back to the car, we is going to find somewhere cool to sit and wait while Daddy brings the car round.  So we is on a pedestrian crossing when these scumbags driving past lean out their windows and him shouts, in front of his own children and our children, "Get them F-in dogs inside" and she shouts, "Yeah, get them f-in dogs inside."   We is so cross, Mummy and Daddy did want to punch their faces in.   We knows it is getting hot so we is already on our way home.  We has been looked after good in the warm and there is loads of other dogs out today.   Anyway we does ignore them cos we is not massive chavvy scumbag pikeys like them and we goes and sits in a closed down shop doorway and Daddy goes to get the car and then we goes home and has a nap before dinner.

Mummy asks Daddy to blow the wimmy pool up for us.  Him say he thought that was to put the fish in when we move and she say it is but we can borrow it for now.  So him blowed it up.   Katie did put her bikini on and get in and Lotty did go in for a second but me and Carly did go and hide inside cos we not want to go wimming.

For birthday tea the humans has a tex mex feast, them has fajitas and nachos and tato wedges and all sorts of little mini cheesy things and meaty things and them has soured cream and guacomole and humous, which is not mexican or texican but Mummy likes it so she put it on the table anyway.   Then they had choklit gatto but we didn't have any birthday candles so Bryn said him not mind and him blew the candlebra candles out instead.  Then after tea it was still hot so Katie, Bryn and Lotty went wimming in the pool.

Today Katie and Bryn went to the pictures to see Despicable Me 2 and them went to McDonalds.   Mummy and Daddy took them but we stayed home with Tom.

After Mummy get some money out the cash machine and Katie steals it all off her then the minihumans go off to the pictures and Mummy and Daddy went to the shop to see how much the kitchen table is they want for the new house.   Them is walking into the shop and this man parks in the disabled spot in a big BMW.   Mummy say (like she always does in a sarcy voice) "Oh look, he's disabled.  Bless him."   Then her says (like she always does), "If he's only got one leg I'm going to look like a right bitch."

Normally this is OK and the person is perfectly able bodied, just lazy, and her doesn't look like a right bitch.  But as she's holding the shop door open for the man with the prosthetic leg she feels very bad and hopes him didn't hear her slagging him off over 50 fields.   Daddy say him probly a war hero.   Mummy say Daddy has permission to kick her in the head if him wants but him say him alright, her has already done it to herself.

Anyway the kitchen table is still there and them say they will get the 6 matching chairs too but not til after they move in.   Then them come out the shop and Daddy does the big laugh at Mummy he's been holding in and them do laugh hard til snot comes out their faces cos they is yacky like that my parents.   Then Mummy says they should go and look in the furniture shop over the road what they have never been in.  Daddy say he thinks it's shut cos there is not a single car in the car park but Mummy say it must be open cos she can see the lights is on.   So them go and it is open, just they have no customers.   The reason why they have no customers is because the shop was playing over the tannoy a really awful radio station.  It was some posh woman wobbling on about opera and classical music and playing really really really awful music like the phantom of the opera and show tunes from the olden days.  It was probably radio 3 or classic fm.  Anyway Mummy say the choice of radio station just about summed up the clientelle the shop was trying to attract and her say that definitely not her and maybe if they'd been playing a normal station like real radio or something then the furniture wouldn't have seemed like it was so revolting but the music just made everything look even more old person.  So them got out of there fast and them went to the tip on the way home with a load of stuff what Daddy took out of the attic this morning.

Normally Mummy is super lazy and just sits in the car at the tip but her decided to "help".  Mainly cos she wanted to inspect what he was throwing away in case it was stuff she wanted.   She managed to save a puter monitor (I can sell that at a car boot sale) and a plant pot (I can put my herbs in that).   When she started looking in the bins for other peoples rubbish she could rescue then Daddy think it time to get her back in the car and them comes home.   Daddy shows Mummy the big sign that tells you not to steal other peoples rubbish.   Her think this is probly not the law, just the tip men wanting to keep the best stuff for themselves.   We does think it is funny how they have decorated the tip with dead hanging baskets and broken garden ornmanents.

Then we has a nap and waits for the minihumans to come home.

Right now the house opposite has every single window open and is playing Rihanna so loud you could probably hear it from another country.   I hate Rihanna.  Last night someone in our street had a party.   A very loud party.   At 3.30am they were still in their garden shouting and screaming.   We were wide awake.