Monday, 24 February 2014

In which we get treated like babies. By Bessie

So we finally got our business account open but we still can't use our paypal cos they blocked our account cos we might be money laundering (with £2000?  I'd go for a bit more than that.  if I'm going to prison then best make it worth the stretch).  Anyway we had to go through a series of security crap which has taken ages cos each step we have to wait for the information.  Now we have one more thing to do, send bank statement so hopefully the account will be open in the next few days.  Hope so cos Dufus needs a vet for his poorly toe.

Tom is going to Doncaster on Friday for the weekend for this assessment thingy.  Mummy will drive him there and then her and Katie are going to meet with Aunty Gilly, Sadie and Fudge and then spend the night in a hotel before they bring Tom back home on Saturday.  Then there's a walk on Sunday which we might go to in Stourhead.  We liked it there last time, that was where the humans had hot chocolate and Lotty made friends with a baby sheep.

Daddy has built banisters on the stairs, they're not finished yet but they look good so far.  Except we all laughed because they're covered in sticky tape.  We keep saying, "If Bryn made stairs.." cos they remind us of when he was going through his making things out of cardboard and tape phase.  

Apparently there's going to be some big changes around here.  Well, they've already started.   Mummy said our behaviour has become out of control and we need to be retrained, like puppies.  How rude.  So now we are forced to have at least two walks every day, no matter what the weather or if we want to just lie on the settee.   And she has stuck to it too.  We laughed when she said it cos we've heard it all before.  Especially when she said she was going to take us for a walk before bed.  We thought there is no way she will bother when it's cold and she's tired.  But 10.30 last night, we is all lay on the settee snoozing and Daddy was watching Match of the Day and Mummy suddenly jumps up and goes and puts her coat on and drags us off for a walk.  Actually it was fun walking in the dark.  We didn't have to keep standing in the hedge while a car zoomed past like we do in the day and we saw a frog.  Mummy gets so cross, it's always the idiots going to the golf club or the riding school who race through the village.   Not the village people, they are the nice ones who slow down and wave.   I bet she regrets making us walk so much now.  We were walking past the golf club and Carly stuck her head through a fence and wiped it on this log.  Unfortunately there was a giant fox poo on the log.   So Carly had a baff when we got back.  She still stinks though.  That stuff is evil.

Also she said the barking while she is making dinner is very annoying. So this morning she was making our foodies and Tom came in to help and I started talking and she said that was cute, she likes the talking.  But then I started talking loud and she said no, that's not cute anymore and her and Tom stopped putting food in the bowls and they just stood there like statues.  So I stopped barking and they carried on.  It took forever to make the foodies,  it was very annoying and POINTLESS.

Tom is going to his friend Josh's house later.  Katie said what time is he going cos we've got no food in the house.  Mummy said she couldn't go and ask Josh for food.  Katie said she didn't want to, she wants to go to Tesco but Mummy said she wasn't going til four.  Katie said she would be dead by then.  Mummy said she can't be that hungry cos there's loads of food in the house.  We have cheese and bean pasties, quiche, falafels, left over lasagne, snossijs and a great big chikkin in the slow cooker.   Apparently none of these are thngs that Katie would like to eat.  We don't know what she actually would like to eat though.  I don't think she does either.

Monday, 17 February 2014

Top million things I hate today. By Sam

I was going to compile my five things that wound me up today list but it went a bit beyond five.  Is it me or is everybody really annoying today?  So instead here is my list of things that annoyed me in town this morning:

1.   HSBC bank who employ a part time business manager.  Why?  It's a bloody big branch.
2.   Short people with umbrellas.  Actually anyone with umbrellas.   Double actually, just umbrellas.  Put your hood up.  I have nothing against short people really.  I wouldn't dare.
3.   People who stand in shop doorways smoking.
4.   Ambulance chasers.  
5.   Monster.   Saw a boy sat in the doctors wearing his school uniform, probably about Bryn's age, drinking the biggest can of monster ever.  It was the size of a petrol can.  Whatever is wrong with him, I don't think that's the cure.   Although...it did lead to one of those inane conversations Tom and I frequently have.  One of the 'what if' conversations.   Tom thought that maybe the boy claimed he was too tired to go to school (like Katie had tried this morning) so his Mum had given him a giant can of energy drink and taken him to the doctors.   We decided we would get one and go in to Katie's room at 7am tomorrow, crack it open and tell her to get up and drink it.  Then five minutes later she would come running downstairs in her underwear shouting, "COME ON.  LET'S DO THIS."   Tom said maybe I had an exaggerated opinion about how energy drinks work.  I reminded him it was a very big drink and she is a very small girl.   Anyway, we laughed.  I guess you had to be there.   You usually do with these things.
6.   People who want to have a conversation with someone they've seen (usually a conversation that ought to be private, about medical problems or money issues) but they start it the minute they see each other.  So instead of waving, then closing the gap and standing next to each other to talk, they shout "Alright love?" And then proceed to discuss their piles or debt management from a distance of fifty yards and at a volume a town crier would think was too loud.
7.   People who go out in really large groups.   Why would an entire extended family all need to go to Asda together?   If they all want to be part of the decision making regarding which brand of oven chips they are having for tea then why not all sit down and write a list together and then send the least smelly one to the shop.  Alone.
8.   People who wear inappropriate clothing for the time of year.   It's not time to look at cracked heels, yellow toenails and varicose veins.   I thought I had at least another three months to prepare myself (visually speaking obviously. I neither have nor would show them off if I did have any of those things)
9.   People who don't own a bra and should do (that includes some men).  You can buy one from Poundland now, there's no excuse.
10.  People who push in from the back when they hear another till being opened.  If I worked on a till I would refuse to serve those people.  I would insist on waiting for the person who was next in the other queue to come over to my till.
11.  People who slam their car into reverse and start their manoeuvre even though you were already reversing.  One of these days I won't stop.  I'll just let them hit me and see what they do about it.   Mind you if it's anything like the old fella I saw in the Kingsway Centre last week they'll probably just drive off.   Tom and I were coming down the ramp when this old guy, looked at least 85, started driving up the down ramp.  So I stopped while he attempted to back up.  It took him ages, he just couldn't steer the car backwards.  Eventually he got himself into such a position where the side of his car had scraped right along the front of a parked car.  I couldn't stop as there were no spots and he had caused a massive tailback.   So I pulled up alongside and looked him straight in the eye, shaking my head and pointing at the damage.   By this gesture I OBVIOUSLY meant, "Don't you dare drive off, I saw everything."  So I drove round the floor looking for a place to stop but when I got back round the little bastard had driven off.  What a shit.  And you know what?  I'm such a thicko I didn't write down his registration number.  I could have kicked myself.  Such a stupid thing to let happen.
12.  People who let doors slam in your face.   Pig ignorant.
13.  People selling stuff in the street who get arsey with you when you say no thank you.
14.  People who wear Ugg rip offs that don't fit.   You're supposed to walk on the soles not the sides.  Between them and crocs the next generation won't be able to walk properly.  It's not bad enough that they can't spell anymore what with predictive text and auto correct.
15.  People who indicate left then turn right.  I'm not great at my left and right under pressure but I do know that if I want to turn that way then I indicate that way and if I want to turn the other way I indicate the other way.

Thursday, 13 February 2014

I don't think you're cut out for veganism. By Bessie.

Mummy fancied trying veganism.  This was on account of a video she watched about dairy cows that upset her.  Anyway, Katie said almond milk was really tasty.  So Mummy was thinking she would try it.  Katie lied.  It was not really tasty.  It tasted like cardboard.  Maybe it's an acquired taste.  Katie loves it.  She sent Daddy 97 texts the other day shouting at him cos he forgot to go to Tesco to buy some.  He remembered the rice pudding though.  Ho hum.

Mummy said she would also struggle if she couldn't have KFC and wishes KFC would start selling southern fried Quorn.  

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

blah blah blah, shut up Mummy. Nobody cares. By Bessie

On Sunday we went to a big country park in Swindon to meet our friends.   There were 26 bassets and a beagle.   It was raining and it even hailed some of the time but we had a good time anyway.  Lotty stole a crust of bread off a small child.  She says she had to do it because the child was feeding the swans.  Lotty went to say hello to the swans and one of them tried to bite her on the nose so she had to steal his lunch.  The small child's Daddy was cross and gave our Daddy a very dirty look even though the child was not hurt and Daddy did say he was very sorry.

We stopped for lunch and everybody went back to their cars to eat cos it was still raining but when we met back at the start point after lunch there were only 9 dogs on the walk.  We had a good run and our bellies got so mucky that Mr Guy walked us through a river to clean off.   Miss Louise and Mr Dave couldn't make this walk cos Miss Louis had her mummy visiting but Miss Sam and Mr Ryan came and Mr Wayne so we got to see some of our bestest friends.  Lotty and Shirley are bestest friends, I think they like to get up to all kinds of mischief together.

On Monday Tom and Mummy went to pets at home to pick up Carly's antibionics for her bad toofy.  There was some people in there booking their dog in to get his nails done cos he'd tried to eat the groomer next door, not our friend Kate, the blonde lady who has never done our feeties.   Anyway the people was telling the receptionist all about how they had sold the dog (un-castrated dog I adds) but the person who bought him hadn't changed the number on the microchip and the dog had been found and returned to them.   The receptionist asked if they didn't try and phone the people who bought the dog to see if they were looking for him.  The man shrugged and said he didn't know who he had sold him to.   Mummy turned to Tom and whispered, "And it's people like us left to pick up the pieces afterwards."

Mummy was a bit annoyed though that she had been stood at the desk for ten whole minutes waiting for someone to come out and see her (she had even sent Tom off to buy some stuff in the shop while she was waiting and he had been and come back before the receptionist came out).  Then she comes out and Mummy and Tom are standing at the desk and the family with the dog are sitting down.  But she opens the door, walks out, completely ignores Mummy and Tom and says "Oh hello, what can I do for you?" to the other people.  Luckily the man said Mummy was next or she would have hit the roof.

Anyway they got the tablets and they went to Asda to buy Katie and Tom some new school shirts cos theirs have all gone grey cos Mummy keeps washing them with the blazers.  They were walking past Marks and Spencer and Mummy is telling Tom some inane story about how she got a weird anonymous text and she was trying to work out who it was from.  Tom kept saying it didn't matter, just delete it but Mummy was going, "Yeah but wouldn't you be even slightly intrigued?"  Tom just said no he would delete it and move on.  Then Mummy said, "Did you hear back about that job yet?  You did apply didn't you?"  And he said, "Yes Poirot, I had a text while you were going on and on about your text.  You didn't even notice I wasn't listening."   "Oh." Said Mummy.  Then she shut up...for a minute.  It was a nice minute though, according to Tom.  Nice and peaceful, could have been longer.  So Tom had a phone interview which he passed and now he has to go to Doncaster for an assessment weekend.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

In which the humans go to another funeral. By Bessie

Mummy got a new car.  It is a white car and the minihumans said there is lots of room in the back and we has more room too so we likes it lots.  After them picked the car up Mummy, Daddy and Bryn went to Cardiff to look in the place with all the antique shops.   Them had toasties in the cafe and a cup of tea and then they was looking round this shop.  Mummy walked off round the corner and noticed there was signs on EVERYTHING in the shop.  "Don't play the piano".  "Don't touch the gramophone records."  "Don't open the drawers."  "Don't sit on the chairs."   Then she heard a man shout, "EXCUSE ME.  DON'T TOUCH THAT."  So she comes running round the corner thinking Bryn must have done something but the shop owner was cross because a middle aged man had opened a drawer in a chest.  Apparently you are only allowed to open the drawers if you are planning to buy something.   (Silly arse that shop keeper was.)  So my humans and the other humans walked off laughing and telling each other not to touch anything or breathe near anything or think any thoughts near anything.

Great Grandma's funeral was last Wednesday so after school on Tuesday Mummy and the minihumans drove up to Aunty Mic's after school.   Great Grandma didn't want a funeral.  She had never been to one in 94 years.  She had written a will which her friend Winnie had signed.  Luckily Winnie is not a solicitor so nobody had to do what Great Grandma asked for in her will.  Which was to give her body to the lions at Knowsley Safari Park and to give all her money to the Daily Mirror cos they "haven't got 'a'penny."   Nobody really wanted to do those things so instead they had a funeral that was as unfunerally as possible.  All the ladies wore bright colours and the men wore checkered shirts and jeans cos Great Grandma had a thing for checkered shirts.   The flowers were lovely bright colours and when the hearse arrived at Aunty Tracy's the driver was told not to go slow cos Great Grandma hated to go slow, she was a bit road ragey when she got stuck behind slow drivers.  Unfortunately the funeral people took this a bit too far and lost the funeral procession at the first corner when they jumped an amber light.  This didn't go down very well as you can imagine and the rest of the cars spent the rest of the journey to the crematorium trying to catch up.  Mummy's cousin in car 5 overtook Grandad in car 3 on a roundabout.  

The funeral was led by a humanist lady and she said nice things about Great Grandma.   Grandma read a poem and Aunty Tracy read hers and Uncle Tim's eulogies.   Uncle Tim and his family didn't come to the funeral cos when they came to visit from Americaland last summer Great Grandma made him promise not to come if anything happened.     It was very sad, Great Grandma was very special to everyone who knowed her.

After the funeral the family went to the masonic hall and had some lunch and then they went back to Aunty Tracy's and wrote messages on balloons and released them for Great Grandma.   Aunty Debbie said she hoped she didn't get home and find one of the balloons stuck in the tree outside her house cos she would be scared Great Grandma was watching her.  

The next day Aunty Tracy and Sapphire got one the balloon that they hadn't released cos it had gone down slightly and they wrote "I've got my eye on you" on it and they went to the office in town where Aunty Debbie works and tied the balloon to the windscreen wiper of her car.    Later that night her did send Aunty Tracy a text telling her she been trying to think of a comeback all night but her gived up.   It was funny anyway.   I know it sound disrespectful but Great Grandma would laugh at that, her was naughty and liked to play tricks on people.

All the daughters and grandaughters got an angel whisperer.  It is a little colourful bead that tinkles and it's in a little pretty cage that you hang on a necklace.  Mummy got a purple one.  She wear it everyday so her know Great Grandma is watching over her.

On Thursday Grandma and Mummy went to Tesco and the minihumans played on the wii with Grandad.  Aunty Mic and Uncle Rob and Ben came over for tea and afterwards Mummy whooped everyone's asses at Trivial Pursuit.  And she was playing on her own and everyone else was in teams.  Well Katie was supposed to be on Mummys team but she was too busy on twitter.  Mummy said she going to get her own Trivial Pursuit.  She likes Trivial Pursuit.

On Friday Mummy and Grandma went into town to do some shopping and meet Aunty Tracy for coffee.  Then they went to Primark and bought some rubbish in the sale.   Katie went to meet her friend Georgina at Subway and Grandad and the boys went to McDonalds.    After Katie came back from meeting Georgina it was time for my humans to come home.

We was very happy to see everybody.  Daddy looked after us good and taked us for a walk every day but we missed our Mummy and minihumans lots.

On Saturday Mummy, Daddy and Katie went to look at kitchens in Magnet and B&Q and then they went to Tesco to buy picnic food for Sunday.  Then Mummy made a picnic for her and Daddy cos everybody else said they didn't want to go out with them for the walk on Sunday.

On Sunday we got up early and us houndies, Mummy and Daddy got in Mummy's new car and we went to Burnham on Sea.  This is by the seaside in case you didn't guess.  We met our friends and we went for a walk along the beach.  This is the first time we ever went on a proper sand beach.   We been on Exmouth beach once but it was full of glass and rubbish and we went on Barry beach once but it was full of poo and chavs.   The other beaches we go on are pebble beaches.  But this beach was miles and miles of lovely soft sand.  We ran and ran and we had a great time,   there were 25 bassets and 4 not bassets.  Baby Melody had cuddles with everyone at the start but then her mummy Linda took her home cos her too little for a big walk.   Big walks is bad for basset bones until they is a year old.  Mummy wouldn't stop kissing baby Melody, it was a bit embarrassing.

On the way back to the car, about half a mile near the end Lotty ran in mud.  She was so dirty she had to have a baff when she got home.  Me and Carly were clean, we didn't need baffs.

It was Daddy's birthday on Sunday.  He didn't want to open his presents until we got back from our day out cos it would mean waking all the minihumans up.  So when we got back he opened his presents and cards and then the humans went out to an Indian restaurant for dinner.   Daddy had lamb tikka masala, Mummy had chikkin biryani, Bryn and Tom had chikkin tikka tandoori and Katie had chips and korma sauce.

Lotty was running along the beach when she fell in a hole.   It was a really deep hole covered with water and she fell right in all the way to her neck and lucky she scrambled out.  Daddy stuck his welly in the hole and it went down really far.  Mind you that night we saw on the news about a car that fell down a hole so Lotty was lucky really that she only nearly lost her tail.

On Monday night Daddy came home from work and told Mummy that a truck had driven over the manhole cover where the water meter (works water meter, not home) is.  It's on the pavement by the car park.   The truck had crushed the pipe and water had been pouring into the meter hole but cos it has been raining for so long nobody had even noticed the leak until that day when the people in the unit next door had reported a leak to the water board.  Anyway the water board had to turn the supply off cos the meter was spinning, there was so much water pouring in.  Nobody has any idea how big the water bill is going to be, it will probably be thousands.  The water people said it has to be mended but they won't do it or pay for it.  So work has no water, no toilet facilities and no heat cos there isn't enough water to start the system.  Daddy told Mummy to wrap up warm on Tuesday.

So Tuesday Mummy wears her thermals and her jeans and 3 jumpers, a coat and a scarf.   It is very cold in work and she tries not to eat or drink too much so she doesn't need to go to the toilet but unfortunately the only way to keep warm is to drink and eat hot things.

There was an accident on the motorway so, as usual, all the traffic is diverted through the town centre.  After work Mummy managed to make it as far as school but the traffic was backed up between school and home so she had to go back the other way and use the steelworks road.  Luckily not many people know this road exists so there was no traffic that way.  The bad thing is she has to go under a really low railway bridge to get here and it is scary.   Then us houndies had to go to the V E T so they had to go out again.  Mummy went back the same way, under the railway bridge and through the steelworks and then got stuck in the traffic going out the other side of town.  But they managed to get to the V E T on time.   It was busy in the V E T and we talked to lots of other dogs.   Lotty had her kennel cough booster and I had all my boosters, Carly's aren't due til March.   Because Lotty didn't have her kennel cough up to date we couldn't go into kennels cos they say it has to be done two weeks before and we didn't have time.  So that's why Daddy had to stay home and look after us and not go to Great Grandma's funeral.  Mummy hadn't bothered getting it done cos it is expensive and she hadn't planned on putting us into kennels any time soon.  We weren't expecting an emergency.  So anyway we are prepared now just in case, and the V E T are doing a promotion, this month kennel cough is £10.  

Carly had to go and see the V E T cos she has a sore teefy.   The V E T looked at it and said it needs to come out so she is booked in for next Friday.

When we came out the V E T we went to see Kate, the groomer next door.  We like Kate, she thinks we are pretty and she strokes our ears and gives us a party bag every time.  We don't even mind her cutting our toebones.  Mummy still isn't allowed though.

Friday, 24 January 2014

Poo stoo. By Bessie

Well not much been happening around here really.  As you know our Great Grandma passed away.  The funeral is next week so Mummy and the minihumans are going but Daddy will have to stay here to look after us.

We have rehomed 4 dogs this week and we have another 2 to rehome.  They are both very old though so we a bit worried that nobody will want them, poor little old ladies.

Mummy made a menu planner for the month.  The mini humans hate it when she does that cos it means they are eating lots of stews and curries.  Tonight they had vegetable slop curry and noodles.   The minihumans just had noodles cos they didn't want to eat the slop.  It did look like poo.  And it didn't smell much better.

Thursday, 23 January 2014

A bilbo? BY Bessie.

Daddy is the first aider in work.  Today while Daddy was in the car park buying a steak and kidney pie (yuck smells of wee) from the sandwich delivery man Adrian in the warehouse got hit on the head by a falling sheet of metal.   This made him faint at the sight of his own blood.   So Daddy rushes in to administer first aid.     He lay Adrian down and went in the office to tell his boss there had been an accident.  So his boss came out and said "Where is he?"  then tripped over Adrian, who was lay on the floor.   Daddy was leaning over him making sure he was OK but, being Daddy, also eating his steak and kidney pie.   Daddy's boss had to come back in the office to tell everyone else cos he couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Daddy eating his pie over a bleeding man.

Later on, when challenged about the pie eating incident Daddy said it had been exaggerated and was nowhere near as bad as it sounded and anyway it didn't matter that he was wearing surgical gloves to eat his pie cos he hadn't touched blood with them.   This made everyone laugh even more cos nobody had even noticed the surgical gloves.  So actually the story was even worse than it sounded.

Then a customer came in to see Daddy and said he needed to have some sheath holders made.   Well nobody was really paying attention to the conversation until he got the prototype out of his pocket.  "Like this," he says, "They are for putting a condom on to inspect it."  Then everybody's ears pricked up to listen and stare in amazement at what can only be described as a plastic willy.  Actually that wasn't the word Mummy used to describe it but it sounds too rude to repeat.  At this point Daddy and his customer went out into the warehouse and everyone was left staring at each other and Mummy whispered, "Did that man have a ***** in his pocket?"  
"A what?"  said her boss.

"A *****."
"A what?  I can't hear you.   A bilbo?
"A *****!"  shouts Steve.  And then they all laughed.  Lots.

Anyway afterwards Daddy said it wasn't a ***** and it wasn't for putting condoms on, it was for something like condoms.  Hmmm if you say so.

You will be pleased to learn that Adrian was OK and didn't need to go to the hospikal.


Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Great Grandma


This is my Great Grandma.  She passed away yesterday.  
Great Grandad was waiting in heaven for her, he has been waiting for 24 years.

We love you Grandma.

God looked around His garden
and He found an empty place. 
He then looked down upon this earth
and He saw your tired face. 
He put His arms around you
and lifted you to rest. 
God's garden must be beautiful.
He only takes the best. 
He knew that you were suffering.
He knew you were in pain. 
He knew that you would never
get well on earth again. 
He saw that the road was getting rough
and the hills were hard to climb. 
So He closed your weary eyelids and whispered
“Peace Be Thine.” 
It broke our hearts to lose you
but you didn't go alone. 
For part of us went with you
the day God called you home. 
You left us beautiful memories.
Your love is still our guide. 
And though we cannot see you
you are always by our side. 
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same. 
But as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. 

Author unknown

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Peace and quiet. At last. By Bessie

You know what we like best about our house?   The peace and quiet.  On Halloween night we didn't get a single visitor, over Christmas we had one carol singer.  Since we've been here we've had one canvasser.  She wanted to speak to a young voter so we pushed Tom into the porch and shut the door on them.   He didn't mind, she gave him a £7 Boots voucher for his trouble.   Nobody ever comes round trying to sell us stuff.  We never hear any noise outside apart from if you go out for a wee in the middle of the night and you can hear noises from the steelworks.  That doesn't bother us though, you can't hear it inside the house.  We never hear car doors slamming and people shouting to each other.  Our neighbours never throw drunken parties in their garden.   We never hear car alarms or other peoples dogs barking or cats fighting.   People don't walk past and stare in through the windows.  There were no fireworks on bonfire night or New Years Eve.   Heaven.  We love it.  Every evening we close all the curtains and snuggle down in our cosy lounge and we could be a million miles from anyone.

Don't get me wrong.  We like company.  We're not completely antisocial.   We have lots of invited guests come to visit.   And that's just the way we like it.

News Flash. By Bessie

Mummy said to tell you that her boss FINALLY got round to ordering her a new computer.  She has only been asking for the last year.  The reason he said yes was cos he emailed her a spreadsheet to work on but her puter is so old it couldn't open it.

In other news the sun is shining.   I know.  Amazing isn't it.

The minihumans are going to the dentist tonight.  Mummy went last week for her check up and she said she better make an appointment for the children cos they must be due by now.  So the receptionist checked if they were due and they were last seen by the dentist in...wait for it...March 2011.   Shocking isn't it.  Mummy says it's the dentists fault for not sending a reminder.  Hmmm.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

That's nice. By Bessie

Interesting, and not so interesting, things we found out today:

Children can choose adult glasses in Specsavers and still get them at childrens prices.  i.e. Katie can have designer glasses up to £99 for £10 or up to £125 for £30.  Cool eh?

If you wait til today (i.e. 7th January) Iceland sell all their Christmas Party food off for £1 a box.   So you could either buy some and put it in the freezer ready for another party or do what we did and have a party tea just because you feel like it.

They finally got round to taking the tree down outside the village hall today.  Officially that still means a year of bad luck so the roof probably will blow off.  We hope if it does it blows the other way and squashes the orange house and not ours.

Daddy needs his ears syringed.  Last night he was listening to the radio while he was painting the bathroom.  It was so loud through the walls that everybody else gave up trying to watch television.   Then he came downstairs, turned the channel over without asking if it was OK and the volume back up (Mummy had muted it) and turned it up to number 37.   Then he left the room again (he does this a lot, we're quite used to it by now) so Mummy turned it down to number 18.  Then he came back in and turned it back up again.  At which point Mummy screamed, "BLOODY HELL,ARE YOU DEAF?"  Daddy said, "Pardon?"  And he wasn't even joking.

Mummy's diet isn't going very well.  She decided she would have a bowl of porridge for breakfast and rice and vegetables for lunch.    Afterwards she was very very hungry but as she was in work she couldn't graze like she would if she was at home.  Katie says it's impossible to graze if there's no food in the house but we think there's always something to graze on, even if it's an old crust of bread or a biskit.   Then she went to look for some running trainers but they were all hideous so she said she will wait til pay day and get some New Balance instead.   Anyway Mummy's extreme hunger and patheticness is the reason why she ended up in Iceland and found the party food.

Sunday, 5 January 2014

How to be even more perfect. By Bessie

It's my gotcha day today.   This time three years ago Mummy was taking me for my first walk.  We went to meet Katie from school.  It was cold, I remember that.  We sat on the wall outside the citizens advice but she went home the different way and we missed her.

Anyway it was fun in my new house.  I'm glad I live here.

Me and Mummy had a little think about New Years resolutions.  But we decided we are already perfect so we made some different ones:

Me:
Carry on being awesome.
Try and catch the postman.  He already hates me, may as well give him a reason.
Get through the hole in the fence, it's big, I'm small.  I can make it.
Steal more food.

Mummy:
Finish writing my bloody book.
Only eat food I've cooked at home.  I waste far too much money on fast food (maybe I could make an allowance for KFC and Starbucks?   NO NONE AT ALL).
Remember to change the captions when repinning.



Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Our Christmas. By Bessie

you will be delighted to know that I just spent the last hour writing this story and it was saving it every few minutes when suddenly the page just went blank and the whole thing had gone, even the saved copies have gone.   As a result this is what my account of christmas will be:

Mummy and Tom had their hair cut, it took and hour and 35 minutes to get out of the car park in Tesco.

I got a pink dolphin for Christmas.   I like it.

Us houndies went to Miss Louise's for the day.  We had lots of fun with Penny and Frank.  My humans went to Uncle Nick's while we were there.  Then they came back and there was a party at Miss Louise's and Miss Sam and Mr Ryan came too.   Everybody had lots to drink.  Not us houndies though, we are not like that.  Miss Sam may have sicked up her malibu.  Lotty may have eaten a plate of snossij rolls and a plate of snossijs and a tin of cat food.

Grandma and Grandad came for New Year.   They went home this morning.  Katie had her friends over, they stayed up til 7am.

I'm sorry this is rubbish.  The original was brilliant but I haven't got the energy or the inclination to rewrite it.

Saturday, 21 December 2013

I'm not scared of horses. how dare you. By Bessie

The other day we had a really bad storm.  It rained literally all day long.   Mummy's work had about six power cuts.  She says every time the power went off her computer went off but nobody else's did cos theirs are all brand new with battery back up but hers is old and crap but her boss won't buy her a new one.    Then that evening we was just sitting down to watch telly when the power went off.  Daddy went outside to check and the whole village was in darkness.  I tell you what, it's very dark in the countryside at night.  Where we lived before was quite rural but it's proper country here, even though we're closer to the city centre.   So Mummy phoned the electricity board and they said one of the power lines had come down and they hoped they would fix it soon.   As it turns out it was only out for an hour and a half.  Mind you the way the minihumans and Daddy carried on you'd think it had been days, weeks even.  Daddy lay on the lounge carpet and slept, very noisily.   That was a really dumb place to lie down too cos it was pitch dark and everyone kept falling over him.   The little minihumans sulked cos they couldn't do anything.   Mummy said she didn't mind, she lit all her candles and played angry birds on her phone and cuddled with me.

The next day the man next door came round to tell us the fence had blown down but when we went to check it was only leaning a little bit, the gap wasn't big enough to climb through.  We all tried.   He said he would try and get over to fix it when it stopped raining.   But it didn't stop raining til Saturday.  So on Saturday morning, that's today, he came round and he said it had blown over a bit more last night so we went to check and this time the gap was big enough to get through.  Lotty was very excited, she tried to climb through the gap, but Graham next door stuck his head in the hole and give her a kiss, then he put a big block of wood and a load of stones in the way so we couldn't escape.   He said he didn't mind if we came into his garden cos he thinks we are cute but he was worried we might get out into the street.  I said I don't mind if we get into the street, we can go and play with the horses.  Then a horse walked past so we all shouted HIYA.  But Mummy told Graham we were scared of horses and told us to be quiet.  We're not scared of horses.  We're not.  We could have a horse in a fight any time.

Then we went for a walk round the village but we didn't meet anyone to talk to.  It was very quiet out today.  So we come home and ran round the lounge for a bit then went upstairs and put our muddy feet on the white duvet.  That didn't go down too well to be honest.


Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Basset Rescue Network Christmas Party

Sunday was our Christmas Party.   We baked all day Friday.  We made doggy treats; mackerel & sweet potato, banana & peanut butter and liver & apple.  Then we put them in Christmassy gift bags with a pretty red ribbon.  We also made rolo cupcakes and smartie cupcakes with candy canes and tons of other stuff.  We were in the kitchen all day.  Mummy brought our bed in so we could help by sleeping.  Carly didn't want to sleep though, she ate all the potato peelings and carrot heads.  Weirdo.   Tom ate left over rollos.  Me and Lotty taste tested the doggy treats.  They were good.

On Sunday we loaded the car up.  We had so much stuff that we wondered if we were going to have to take both cars but eventually we squeezed everything in.  We had to share the boot with all the cans of pop and agility equipment and Mummy had the hamper on her lap and couldn't see out of the window.  You'll be glad to know Daddy was driving or we would all be deaded.

When we got to the party we was a bit muddled cos there was nobody there and we wondered if we got the right place.  Then Mr Wayne arrived, he thought the party started at 10.30 so him was a teensy bit early (it was 10.45 and the party was due to start at 12).  I bet his minihumans wasn't impressed much.

Then the man from the hall arrived so Mummy went inside to talk to him while we went for a walk round the field.  He asked Mummy what was happening today, was it a party?  And Mummy said that it was a party for dogs.  There would be a fun show, food and Santa and some party games.

"DOGS?"  the man looked horrified.  "Nobody told me you were bringing dogs."

"Erm we are the BASSET rescue network."  Mummy said.

"I know that," snapped the man, "If I'd known there were going to be dogs I'd have told you to bring mats.  Have you got mats?"

"Oh yes," Mummy lied, "Don't worry about that."   Well it was only a little lie, we had our own beds to lie on and Miss Sam had some bits of carpet for the musical mats game.

So the man showed Mummy where everything was and then hovered around looking increasingly cross as more people kept arriving and bringing DOGS into the hall.   Then Miss Sam arrived with the money and paid the man and FINALLY he went and left us to it.

Anyway, the hall wasn't very clean, there were crumbs all over the floor.  Lucky we houndies were there to clean it up for him.  I reckon we left it cleaner than we found it and that was after eleventyseven wees and 3 poos.

By the time everyone arrived we had 52 humans and 33 doggies and we made a right old racket.  Them acoustics in the hall was good for howling and barking.  I don't think the humans were that keen on the noise, I think most of them went home with headaches.  Miss Clair, Mr Neil and Harry brought us Poppy, our new foster dog that they had collected for us the night before.  She was very very beautiful and very shy and every single person who met her fell instantly in love.

The humans had party food for lunch and then we played some games and had a fun dog show.   I can't remember who won what though cos we lost the piece of paper!   I think it was:
Saddest Face - Monty (he wasn't even entered but he wandered into the middle of the ring and slumped down with a sigh and Mr Ian (our judge) felt sorry for him.
Best Party Trick - We think that was Wilson with his rolling over for a treat trick.
Best Rescue Story - Carly.
Musical Mats - Bryn and Lotty.
Dog who looks most like their owner - Bryan and Harry.
Snossij race - Aimee and Shirley.
Longest Ears - Fleur (27cm).
Egg and Spoon Race - Kayleigh and Shirley.
Best family of dogs - The Nicholls family.

Santa came and gave us all a present.  The dogs had a bag of treats and the human children had a selection box.   He didn't let us sit on his lap though.  Shirley did.  She said she knew Santa better than the rest of us and he said she could sit on his lap.  I don't know how she knows Santa better though.  I is the best behaved girl in the world so I think if anyone was allowed to sit on his lap it should have been me.

Then we stopped for a break and to draw the raffle.  But while the raffle was being drawn little Stella had a seizure and it was ever so scary but luckily Miss Emma was there.  She was ever so calm and good and she helped her come out of it gently.  

And then we run out of time so we never got to do the fancy dress or the agility cos it was 4.45 and we had to be out of the hall by five.  So we cleaned up and then it was time to go home.

Anyway apart from the incident with Stella which was very sad and worrying (but me is happy to report she is ok now) and the noise, I think everybody had a good time.  We liked the fact that all the humans were really chilled out about their dogs, nobody was being precious and making a fuss and the dogs were very relaxed and really let theirselves go.  Although we would like to know who was so relaxed they let themselves go on Shirley's bed.   Someone said they thought it was a big white basset.  That means it was either Bert, Archie or me (clue: it definitely wasn't me).  Shirley said she's going to have their guts for garters (or poo in their basket).

We took Poppy back home with us.  She was very good and we all snuggled up together in the back of the car.  There was a bit more room on the way home cos even though we had an extra dog, she was only a teeny one and we didn't have all the food and the hamper to carry.

When we got home we all had some food.  Poppy was very polite and ate ladylike like I do not like a big fat pig like Carly or pushing her bowl round the room at 400 miles an hour like Lotty.   Then we sat in the lounge and watched telly.  Poppy sat on Mummy's lap.   Carly didn't like that and sat on her cushion sulking but Mummy said we should all be nice to Poppy cos she's had a very traumatic time.  She had her puppies nine weeks ago, then she got given away to Miss Clair and Mr Neil, who brought her a very noisy party with lots of new people all wanting to meet her.  Then spending a night at our house and off to Miss Lesley tomorrow.  So we were all nice to her (Carly was still sulking though).  And that night Poppy slept on the end of Tom's bed.  She was a very good girl and didn't get up in the night.   

Yesterday, Monday, we had to wait in cos the people from the charity shop were coming to pick up the old lounge suite.  They came about 11.30 and then we just cuddled and watched telly.  Mummy needed to hoover really but Poppy was scared of it so she said it can wait.   When it was time to pick Katie and Bryn up from school Mummy and Tom took Lotty and Poppy with them.   They said it's ok, they're only going to the V E T.  Mummy always says that though and then Lotty will tell me about some exciting adventure when she gets back.

But it turns out they did just go to the V E T.   They was both weighed, Lotty is 20.8kg and Poppy is 16kg.   Then Poppy had her puppy injections, even though she is four next month and Lotty had her booster.  Lotty said to tell me and Carly that she didn't have to have kennel cough cos Mummy said we're not going into kennels anytime soon.  Then the V E T asked if Lotty had been deflead recently and Mummy said she never does, she uses garlic tablets.  the V E T rolled his eyes and said that doesn't work.  But then he ran his flea comb through Lotty's hair and admitted that maybe it was working for us but it doesn't work for anyone else.  Then they went and bought some food in Pets at Home and Poppy barked at a lady with a bionic leg and Mummy had to ask her politely not to be so mean.    

When they got home the humans had their tea and after tea we all said goodbye to Poppy.  Then Mummy and Daddy got in the car with her and took her to Miss Lesley's house.  We think Daddy only went to make sure Mummy actually dropped her off cos he could see Mummy was falling in love with Poppy and wanted her to stay.   

When they got to Miss Lesley's, Bella and Wilbur was very friendly and greeted Poppy nicely.  Poppy was a bit growly with Miss Lesley at first cos she does that every time she meets someone new.  But she was ok after a few minutes.  But then when Mummy and Daddy went to leave (i.e. Daddy dragged Mummy kicking and screaming out of the house) Poppy was crying for Mummy.  

This morning Miss Lesley told us that Poppy had a good night snuggled up with Bella and Wilbur.  Her and Bella are best friends and Mr Andrew loves her.  We knew he would, everybody does.   

Of course we love all the dogs that we have had through the rescue, all ten of them.  But some are especially precious to us.   Merlot and Poppy are our two little princesses.   We all fell in love with those two.

Sunday, 1 December 2013

In which Bessie goes to a sleepover. By Bessie

On Monday Mummy was off work so she did loads of baking.  She made sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies.  On Tuesday Mr Gary and Mr Steve went to see Jackson at Miss Lesley's.  Miss Lesley's daughter, Emma is a groomer so she give him a baff and did his toebones first so him was all lovely and fluffy.  Of course Mr Gary and Mr Steve and Sally the corgi loved him so they adopted him.  Mummy and Carly went to meet them at McDonalds to give them his papers and they had a little cuddle with Jackson and Sally.  Mummy said Sally was beautiful.

On Wednesday Mummy went to work so we stayed home with Tom.  On Thursday Mummy and Tom went out and did some Christmas shopping.  They was ever so pleased with themselves and said they had a good days shopping and got loads of presents.

Mummy was doing overtime on Friday but the new settee and armchair was being delivered but they said it could be anytime between 7am and 7pm. but they would phone an hour before.  So she say she will come home when they phone and then go back to work if she has to.   But we was first on the run cos we is so close to the shop so they phoned at ten past seven so lucky they come before she went to work.   Daddy took Katie and Bryn to school and Mummy waited for the delivery.  

When the delivery men come one got out the truck to see where they would bring the settee and chair in so Mummy took him round the back to show him the patio doors.  Him said it was a nice place we got and Mummy says thank you but don't look at the carpet.   Then he went back to the lorry and both men brought the settee in.  The second man says it a nice place too and the first man laughed and said "She only bought it for the carpet."  

"you should have seen the matching lampshades," said Mummy.  Then the second man looked up at our dead nice lampshade and goes "Ugh yeah."

"Not that one!" screamed Mummy, "That's mine!"   The man blushed and the other man laughed and said he always puts his foot in it.    Then they took the covers off and asked Mummy to check it while they went to get the chair.  So she lay down on the settee before we could - we was locked in Tom's room so we didn't eat the delivery men.   Then the phone rang so Mummy asked Tom to sign for the chairs while she answered it.   By the time she come back the delivery men had gone, Tom and me was lay in the armchair and Lotty and Carly was lay on the settee.  Mummy shouted at us and made us get off.  Then she shut the door and went to work and we had to sit in Tom's room all day.  Not that we mind, we like Tom's room.

Yesterday me and Mummy went on an adventure.  We got in the car and we packed a sleeping bag and pillow for Mummy and a blankie for me and we drove to Miss Sam's house.   When we got there we took all our stuff out of our car, well not all our stuff - we left the sunglasses and the crisp packets and that smelly sock that's been under the passenger seat for the last year - and we put it all in Miss Sam's bus.  We went inside her house and I had a run about in the garden with Shirley and Ollie while Mummy had a cup of tea.   Then we got in Miss Sam's bus with Miss Sam and we drove to Miss Louise's house.  

When we got there I had a wee on her next door neighbours lawn and then we went in and cuddled with Penny, Frank and Bertie.   Mr Dave was at work and the minihumans was upstairs in their bedrooms.   So the humans had cups of tea and we houndies ate all the hobnobs.   Then the humans went in the kitchen and pretended to have a meeting.  So me and Penny lay on the settee and had a cuddle and the boys sat on the rug.   But then after it gone dark a burglar came in through the back door so I shouted at him, lots.   But the ladies wasn't happy with my shouting.  And the burglar wasn't happy with my shouting so he went upstairs and when he come back he was wearing jammies and it was Mr Dave and then I remembered he lives here so I said he could stay.   Then the minihumans, Annie and Sam come downstairs and I said they could stay.  But Ginger the cat wasn't allowed to stay.  So I chased him under the dining table and he scratched me on the nose.  Nobody cared.  Nobody kissed me better, they said it served me right.  I think they are very mean.

Us houndies had our dinner and then the humans had fajitas for their dinner and then they drinked lots of drinks what made them laugh lots at things that wasn't funny. After tea Mr Dave and Sam went upstairs and Annie was on her puter in the lounge and the lady humans wrapped all the presents up for the Christmas Party next week.  So we watched and catched any bits of the presents (what I not going to tell you what they is cos then it won't be a surprise) what fell on the floor.  Oh and they wanted to talk to Uncle MrJeff about the website so them did some sort of videocall or something so them could all talk at the same time - over each other I do think but it not my place to say - anyway I videocalled with George and Winston and it was really cool!

When them finished talking to Uncle MrJeff about the website and them finished wrapping the presents then them sat in the lounge and watched some films and us houndies all got to snuggle with a human.    And then one minute we were watching Miracle on 34th Street and the next minute it was morning and Mr Dave was getting up to go to work.  So we all run out to shout HELLO at him very loudly cos that's what you do to be polite.   Mummy was lay on her only working ear though so she didn't hear me shouting HELLO and couldn't shout at me.

After Mr Dave went to work we all come back to bed, Bertie got in with Mummy, and went back to sleep for a few hours and by the time we woke up again it was light and time for bacon butties and then we had to go.  I was sad to go cos I really loves spending time with my friends, especially Penny I loves her lots.  But Mummy say it OK cos me see them all again in a week.  So we says goodbye and then we gets back in Miss Sam's bus and drives back to Miss Sam's house, has a wee, has a cup of tea, gets back in our own car.   We stops at the services for a KFC and a wee and then we goes home.

When we got to Bristol we was stuck for ages in a traffic jam cos some wide load was taking up the whole motorway and going very very slow.  Lucky for us it was turning off to go down the M5 and not carrying on into Wales so we was only held up for about half an hour.  We was waiting ages at the bridge too cos they lets people pay by card at the coin bin.  This is stupid cos you saves up the right money to save time not so you can wait for ages while people put their blummin pin numbers in.

When we got home Carly was very happy to see Mummy, I think she missed her lots.  Nobody else was, they all hates her haha.  Then we had tea and snoozed on the new furniture.


Sunday, 24 November 2013

Open plan living, Daddy style. By Bessie

So the other night Daddy noticed the bubble in the bathroom floor was getting bigger so he had a good look and discovered the toilet is leaking.  He pulled all the floor up and there was water in the roof space and he found mushrooms growing under the floor.  MUSHROOMS!

We thought Daddy was going to go ballistic but he was remarkably calm all things considering.  He said he wanted to replace the floor and wall tiles anyway so he may as well get on with it.   So he ripped all the floor up and the rest of the wall tiles.   The toilet come out and then he was scraping all the rotten wood out and Mummy shouts "OH MY GOD THERE'S A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE WALL!"   

So Daddy come to look and he had knocked right through to the lounge.   Well, open plan is very fashionable, we've seen it on Grand Designs.  Not sure about the open plan lounge/bathroom though.   So when Daddy finished scraping the rotten wood out he mended the hole in the wall so now we can't watch telly from the shower.

On Thursday Mummy, Tom and Bryn took Lotty with them in the car.  They said it was her turn for an adventure cos I always get to go.  Well of course I always get to go, that's cos I'm the oldest and the most important.  Anyway they went to Tewkesbury where they met Miss Adele and Mr Daz and Jackson, the new dog Adele rescued for us.   They got there a bit early cos they thought it would take longer to get there but they have finished all the roadworks on the M50 now so it not take as long.  So they were waiting and watching the other cars arriving and trying to work out which one was theirs.  Lotty sat on Mummys lap so she could look out the window.  Then a people carrier come into the car park with the back window open even though it was cold out.  Mummy said, "I bet that's them and he's just been sick."

Then the car parked next to our car and Miss Adele got out and said Jackson had just been sick.   But apart from that he was very lovely and sweet and Miss Adele and Mr Daz said they loved him very much and was going to miss him.   

Then Jackson and Lotty got in the car and apparently they were both very good and did not argue at all not even once.  And Mummy drove to Bridgend to take Jackson to Miss Lesley who is going to foster him for us.   When they got to Miss Lesley's Jackson and Lotty ran straight through the house and into the garden with Bella and Wilbur.   Jackson very brave boy, he not bothered.  And all the dogs was very nice to each other, not a cross word between them Mummy says.  So they all gave Jackson, Bella and Wilbur big kisses and they come home.  By the time they got home they had been on the road 5 hours.   Them was all shattered and went straight to bed.

On Saturday Katie and her friends wanted to go into Cardiff so Mummy said she would take them and do a bit of Christmas shopping herself.   Bryn stayed home to help Daddy with the plumbing and Tom come with Mummy to keep her company.   

When they got to the park and ride there were two buses in the bus stop.  Both were completely full and there was a big queue of people stood waiting for the next one.   Mummy and Tom did look at each other like oh god what are we doing.   So they join the queue and the two buses went and another one come a few minutes later.  Luckily they managed to get seats and they went into town to do the shopping.   When they got off the bus the teenagers went off by themselves and Mummy and Tom went to Poundland and then to Burger King to get some lunch.   After they had eaten it they went off to do some shopping and it was when they bought something Mummy realised she had left her shopping bag in Burger King.  What was in it was a packet of haribos that she had promised Bryn for helping his Daddy and a box of choklits she bought for the raffle at the Basset rescue Christmas party.   

So they went back to Burger King and the queues at the counters were so big people were queuing out the door.  So they tried to push their way through to get to the stairs when Mummy noticed a little toddler crying  He didn't look like he was with anybody nearby so she knelt down and asked him what was wrong.   He said he lost his Mummy so Mummy lifted him up into her arms and shouts really loud "Has anybody lost a child?"   Loads of people all looked round and this man said he thought he was lost and then he sort of shrugged like to say "I'm a man, I can't pick him up."   Then the little boy points at a lady walking our way so Mummy goes over to her, still carrying the little boy so he not get lost in the crowd again.   Mummy expecting the lady to be cross when she see Mummy holding her baby but she just sighed and said "What you doing there?"  Mummy explain how he was lost and she lifted him up so he could look for her.  The lady just take his hand and drag him off telling him off for leaving the table.  Me think a two or three year old far too little to be left at a table on his own.  Them queues was so long I bet she must have been gone half an hour, no wonder he got scared.

Anyway after all that excitement Mummy and Tom went upstairs and the bag was right where she had left it under the table.  So they had a look in a few more shops but town was so busy it was horrible, everywhere was so busy that even if they wanted to buy something they would have been queuing forever.  So they mooch about not really doing much for a bit then they phoned Katie and said they want to go home.  Surprisingly she was ready and only a few minutes away so them went back to the bus stop and joined a massive queue.  They didn't get on the first bus cos it was too full but they got seats on the next one so them was happy.

At tea time someone phoned to ask about Jackson.   They sounded perfect for him, two men who's basset did go to rainbow bridge recently.  They have another doggy and they arranged to come and see him next week.  If they love him, which they will cos everybody does, then they will take him home with them.

Today we had a lazy day.  Mummy did a load of cooking and baking and we sat and watched.  Carly ate some raw marrow and sweet potato but Lotty and I did not think that would be very tasty.   Carly said it wasn't very nice but as Mummy had given them to her she didn't want to offend Mummy.  I said Carly was stupid and Mummy didn't give them to her, she dropped them.  Carly is such a weirdo.  She's always creeping up to Mummy.  Mummy calls Carly her little stalker cos every time she moves Carly is right behind her.  

Monday, 18 November 2013

Our rescue. How it all began.

Have I told you about our new rescue?   Well, two things happened at the same time.  Firstly people kept asking us to help them with bassets but because of the rules of the basset rescue we were looking for we couldn't help.   Then, while we were moving house Miss Sam arranged a rescue of a basset being transported all the way from Devon to Aberdeen.  we couldn't help because we were moving house but it got us thinking that maybe it would be quite simple to set up a basset rescue of our own.  So we did.

We have been going for eight weeks and we have rescued seven dogs so far.   I'll tell you about them in a minute.   First we made a facebook page then we asked Miss Sam and Miss Louise if they'd like to help.  So Miss Sam is our treasurer and Miss Louise is our secretary.  Then we asked Uncle MrJeff if he would help us with our website so he is building our website for us.  It's nearly finished now, we're ever so excited.  Uncle MrJeff is sponsoring our phone too and Aunty Jayne gave us a phone so people can phone us about the houndies.

We are trying to do it all with just the group of people we have at the moment and the two people in Northern Ireland, Miss Alice and Miss Nikki.  But it is getting more and more work.  We did think we would need to get more people, area reps we thought,  in the future when we get busier but we think we are already much busier than we expected.   Ooh and we're having a Christmas Party too.  Miss Sam found a village hall that allows dogs and we have booked it for the 8th December.  We've got all sorts of fun and games planned.   Santa is coming to give all the dogs and children a present.  We will have a very silly dog show with rounds like dog who looks most like their owner and saddest face and some activity rounds like snossij relay race, egg and spoon race and musical cushions.   An obstacle course and fancy dress and we are having mulled wine and a buffet lunch.  It's going to be tonnes of fun, we can't wait.

Anyway, our dogs.  So I'll tell you about Daisy first, she wasn't our rescue like I said but it was her story that inspired us.  So much so that Miss Alex, her mummy, said we could use her picture for our logo.  So Daisy was rescued from a barn in Devon where she had been used for breeding.   She spent four nights in Devon at the first rescuers house, then she was taken to Bristol where she met the next group of people.  They took her to Stratford on Avon where she swapped cars again.   Then to Nottingham to meet some different people who took her to Rotherham where she met her forever family who took her the rest of the way to Aberdeen.  An incredible 600 mile journey.   So it was this story that inspired us to start our own rescue.


Next we have Bertie.   His owner couldn't give him the attention he craved so he came to us.   The next day we took him to meet Miss Louise.  He is staying there with Frank and Penny for now.  He loves it at Miss Louise's.


Then Roxy.  Roxy was found as a stray living in a forest in Northern Ireland, scared, skinny and pregnant.  She was taken to the pound where she had her puppies and when they were old enough to be weaned the pound phoned Alice, our Northern Ireland rep and asked her to take her in.   Roxy has now been spayed, deflea-ed and wormed and had her bad skin treated with antibiotics.  She is now a million miles from the little stray.
Photo above is Roxy the day she arrived.
Below is her now.


Merlot is very special to us.  They are all very special to us of course but we feel very proud to have rescued Merlot.   We first saw her advertised as free to a good home and asked the seller if we could take her but they didn't respond to us.   Then she disappeared off the website and we were all very worried about what had happened to her.  Three weeks later another dog appeared on the free ads, same age and description but different name and slightly different location.  We didn't put the two together but we asked if we could have her and this time the owner said yes.  One of our transporters, Lesley went to pick her up and that evening our foster carer, Susan brought her home and had a good look at her papers.  The owner had changed her name but the microchip form told us that her name was Merlot and her previous owners name and location was the same as the Merlot we had tried to rescue three weeks previously.  We feel she was sent to us from up high.    Merlot was in season so she stayed with Miss Susan until her season was finished and her vaccinations had been completed.  Yesterday she met her prospective adopter, the lovely Miss Zoe, for the first time and it was love at first sight for the both of them.  Merlot will be going off to Scotland to start her new life at the end of this month.  A happy ending for a very special little girl.


Cooper 's owner couldn't look after him any more so he was given to a lady who had dachshunds.  Unfortunately being a lot bigger than them Cooper was standing on them and the lady was worried for their safety and asked us to help find a new home.   We put his photo on our facebook page and the lovely Miss Sue applied for him.  We thought she was the perfect Mum for a sweet but boisterous young boy like Cooper.  And we were right.  He now lives in Cumbria with his beagle siblings.


Alfie's owner couldn't take him with her to her new home so he had been locked in a shed while he waited to be rehomed.  Our Northern Ireland rep Nikki took him in and he is settling in with his new brother and sister.


Harvey lived with three other dogs and a loving family but he wanted to be an only dog and would fight with his siblings.  His family very reluctantly decided that he would be happier in a home where he could be the only dog.  Luckily we knew just the people.   He went to his new family yesterday and is already settling in well.



Jackson was at a rescue centre and not enjoying life in kennels at all.  On our behalf, Miss Adele offered to help as he had been there for four weeks and we thought we might be able to rehome him quicker.   Miss Adele is picking him up tomorrow and we will meet her halfway on Thursday and take him to Miss Lesley who will foster him until we find a suitable home.

So that is us so far.   Lots more success stories to come, we are sure.    We are really enjoying running our new rescue and we've got some really good and kind people working with us and have had loads of support from the dog community.

I'll get me coat. By Bessie

Firstly I have to tell you that ever since Mummy smelled that salted caramel candle she's been wobbling on about needing to buy one.  Anyway she had all her candles on yesterday and when one ran out she went to get a new one from the massive stockpile and realised all this time she already had salted caramel.   Stupid woman.

On Tuesday Mummy asked her boss if he could remember how many holidays she had left cos she couldn't remember.  He phoned the wages girl at head office and when he come off he says "Well you may as well just go home now."  So she stood up and put her coat on.
"No, not really.  Please don't," he said.  So she agreed that even though she had so many days holiday left that she didn't need to work again this year she would come in every Wednesday.  Because quite frankly it's easier to lose four days holiday than let someone else near the invoices.

So Thursday she didn't go to work, she went to Tesco and then she came home and played with us.  On Friday Grandma and Grandad came to stay for the weekend.   The humans went to B&Q to steal wallpaper samples for Katie's art homework on Saturday afternoon.  On the way out the alarm went off and Mummy told Katie it was because she had stole more than a metres worth of wallpaper.

That night they went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant in Cardiff for Tom's birthday what they paid for with clubcard vouchers.   It was nice foodies.  Katie had chips for her starter though cos she is strange.

On Sunday Aunty Mic, Uncle Rob and Ben come to visit.  Mummy attempted to cook dinner for 10 in her tiny kitchen.  She did the chikkin in the slow cooker and all the veggies in a big baking tray and she did manage to make the dinner.  Unfortunately Daddy thinks that means the kitchen is fine and she don't need a new cooker.   Hmph.

Tomorrow is Tom's birthday.   He will be 21.  

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Not in a candle shop. Not again. By Bessie

Yesterday Mummy smelled a salted caramel yankee candle.   This is the noise she made while she was sniffing it:

"Ohhhh hmmmmmm ohhhhh yessssss hmmmmmmm.   I like this.  Sniff this.  NO, don't take it off me.  Smell that one there.   Hmmmmmm yummy."

Suffice to say Tom said he's not taking Mummy into any more candle shops.  Ever.

In other news Mummy put half the contents of our house, particularly the contents of her wardrobe, on Ebay.  She says she will use the money to pay for the minihumans Christmas presents.  She also said she's selling every pair of shoes that hurts.  Cos she doesn't see the point of wearing anything that isn't comfortable.  So if you ever see Mummy at a posh function she will be the one in slippers...or converses...or doc martens.  Not nice shoes anyway.  That is the point I am trying to make.

Sunday, 3 November 2013

In which Bertie wins at hide and seek. By Bessie

Today we went out with the pack.   We got up nice and early and Mummy made bacon and hash brown rolls for breakfast and chicken and cheese rolls for lunch while Daddy got the car ready for us.  When it was time to get in the car Daddy couldn't find his keys even though him only had them a minute ago.  So we all looked for the keys but they was nowhere to be found and we really needed to go or we were going to be late so Daddy got his spare set and off we went.

It was the same walk we did last May so we thought we knew where we was going.  We drove to the place where the walk started last time and we waited.  And then Mr Guy, Alice, Jessica and Maude came so we got out the car to talk to them.  And then it got to twenty past and we thought where is everybody?  Some people walked past and we asked them if they seen any more dogs like us.  "Oh yes," they says, "there's loads down there."  So we thinks we ought to walk back and meet the rest of the pack so we did.  It took ages to walk down cos we was parked so far away.   Everybody else was parked in a completely different place (which by the way wasn't anywhere near as good a place to park as where we was but ho hum).

Then we give everybody an invitation to the basset rescue christmas party and we set off on our walk.   By the time we got back to the monument by our car we realised there was two dogs missing, Bertie and Flash.  Then Miss Diane got a call to say Bertie was found but Flash still missing.  So Miss Louise and Jordan went back to see the lady who apparently had Bertie.   Mummy said me and Carly and her would go and help find Flash.  So we followed Miss Louise and Jordan but they was running so we lost them. We went back into the woods and tried to retrace our steps until we found a lady who had been on the walk with us but had got left behind.  We felt terrible cos we not know if anybody even knew she was left behind. So we showed her how to get back to everybody else and then we went off into the woods.  Then Brian and his humans catched us up and say they would help look for Flash.  Then we heard a voice and it was Miss Louise.  She went looking but she couldn't find the lady with Bertie.  Her was not where she was sposed to be.  Jordan had run into the woods to look for everybody but now we had lost him too.   Then someone phoned and said the lady now had Bertie on a lead and Flash had run off back to the cars and she was coming back with Jordan.  So we went back the way we come and we seen Mr Ryan coming towards us so we all went back.  Then Tom phoned to ask where we was cos the rest of the pack was carrying on the walk.  We say it ok, all the dogs has been found and we is on our way back.   So them say they wouldn't walk with everybody, they would come and meet us.  So we went back to the path.  But when we got there Jordan was with Daddy, Tom and Bryn and he said he hadn't seen the lady with Bertie or Flash.   So we all started looking again.  We decided the best thing was to go back to the cars in the hope that both the dogs, and this lady whoever she is, made it back there.  So Daddy said he would move our car so it was with all the others, so he went back to get the car and we walked down to the other car park.   When we got there Miss Sam and Mr Dave were there with all the children but Bertie, Flash and the lady weren't.  Then the lady who had got lost in the woods came and described the dog she saw with the lady and we was convinced it was Bertie.  So we said we would go and look for Flash then if we know Bertie is safe.  So we all went back into the woods to look for Flash and Mr Dave drove up the lane to see if he could see anybody.  Then he came back and said he saw a basset running across the road but it was going too fast.  So Daddy went with Mr Dave so if they saw it again he could jump out and try and call it.   In the meantime the rest of us were walking round the woods calling Bertie and Flash.

Then someone shouts up the lane that they have Bertie but Flash is still missing.    So we say we will look, then suddenly Flash is back too.  We never did find out where the dogs had been and which dog, if any, this lady had found cos by the time we got back to the cars she had gone home.

Then the humans ate their lunch and we all had some snossijs and then we went off for the second half of the walk.  Bertie had to stay on his lead this time after disgracing himself.   We was having a lovely walk too until we was 300 yards from the end when Mr Wayne shouts "Come back, we've lost another one!"   Narla had gone missing this time.  So we all walked back shouting her name and us dogs were all barking and howling to attract her attention but we waited for ages and we were all in the woods looking but we couldn't find her anywhere.  So her mum said we should go back to the cars and hope she has run back there.  So we started walking back and then suddenly Lotty ran off into the woods.  Bryn and Daddy raced after her but her was so fast she was really far in seconds, then Bryn managed to corner her against a fence but she didn't want to be caught.  She had the scent of something and she wanted to be off.  Bryn had to throw himself on top of her to stop her running off.  So then Lotty had to stay on her lead.

When we got back to the cars most people decided to stay behind and help search for Narla.  We was all standing round deciding where to start when Mr Guy and one of Narla's humans come walking down the path with Narla on her lead.  We was all so happy and relieved.   Then we all did huggies and kissies and we got back in our cars and went home.  We was so tired after all the excitement we slept all the way home.  Luckily Daddy stayed awake so he could drive the car.  There was a massive queue at the toll and it took ages to get back into Wales.  Then we picked Katie up from her friends, came home and had baffs (grrr) and our tea (yummy) and slept most of the evening.

At bedtime Mummy went to lock the back door but the key was missing.  She asked Daddy where it was and he had a look then announced that someone must have snuck in and took the key.  "Oh that reminds me," said Mummy, "Did you find your car keys yet?"    "Yes," admitted Daddy, "They were in my other coat pocket."   Then he went upstairs and the back door keys were in his coat pocket too.

Ooh I almost forgot, we arranged another adoption this week.    Someone in Lancashire needed to rehome their basset so we advertised him on our facebum page and we rehomed him.  He went to his new family today and he's already settled in.