A bilbo? BY Bessie.

Daddy is the first aider in work.  Today while Daddy was in the car park buying a steak and kidney pie (yuck smells of wee) from the sandwich delivery man Adrian in the warehouse got hit on the head by a falling sheet of metal.   This made him faint at the sight of his own blood.   So Daddy rushes in to administer first aid.     He lay Adrian down and went in the office to tell his boss there had been an accident.  So his boss came out and said "Where is he?"  then tripped over Adrian, who was lay on the floor.   Daddy was leaning over him making sure he was OK but, being Daddy, also eating his steak and kidney pie.   Daddy's boss had to come back in the office to tell everyone else cos he couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Daddy eating his pie over a bleeding man.

Later on, when challenged about the pie eating incident Daddy said it had been exaggerated and was nowhere near as bad as it sounded and anyway it didn't matter that he was wearing surgical gloves to eat his pie cos he hadn't touched blood with them.   This made everyone laugh even more cos nobody had even noticed the surgical gloves.  So actually the story was even worse than it sounded.

Then a customer came in to see Daddy and said he needed to have some sheath holders made.   Well nobody was really paying attention to the conversation until he got the prototype out of his pocket.  "Like this," he says, "They are for putting a condom on to inspect it."  Then everybody's ears pricked up to listen and stare in amazement at what can only be described as a plastic willy.  Actually that wasn't the word Mummy used to describe it but it sounds too rude to repeat.  At this point Daddy and his customer went out into the warehouse and everyone was left staring at each other and Mummy whispered, "Did that man have a ***** in his pocket?"  
"A what?"  said her boss.

"A *****."
"A what?  I can't hear you.   A bilbo?
"A *****!"  shouts Steve.  And then they all laughed.  Lots.

Anyway afterwards Daddy said it wasn't a ***** and it wasn't for putting condoms on, it was for something like condoms.  Hmmm if you say so.

You will be pleased to learn that Adrian was OK and didn't need to go to the hospikal.