Peace and quiet. At last. By Bessie

You know what we like best about our house?   The peace and quiet.  On Halloween night we didn't get a single visitor, over Christmas we had one carol singer.  Since we've been here we've had one canvasser.  She wanted to speak to a young voter so we pushed Tom into the porch and shut the door on them.   He didn't mind, she gave him a £7 Boots voucher for his trouble.   Nobody ever comes round trying to sell us stuff.  We never hear any noise outside apart from if you go out for a wee in the middle of the night and you can hear noises from the steelworks.  That doesn't bother us though, you can't hear it inside the house.  We never hear car doors slamming and people shouting to each other.  Our neighbours never throw drunken parties in their garden.   We never hear car alarms or other peoples dogs barking or cats fighting.   People don't walk past and stare in through the windows.  There were no fireworks on bonfire night or New Years Eve.   Heaven.  We love it.  Every evening we close all the curtains and snuggle down in our cosy lounge and we could be a million miles from anyone.

Don't get me wrong.  We like company.  We're not completely antisocial.   We have lots of invited guests come to visit.   And that's just the way we like it.