In which my humans view some houses and Mummy loses her rag. By Bessie

On Friday we had some people come to view the house.   Them stayed for half an hour and they asked millions of questions and wanted to look at everything.   The estate agent phoned on Saturday to tell us they liked the house and them is deciding between ours and another one and will let us know on Monday.   Typical the other one is in the same street in that awful village that the people who made the low offer want to live in.   It do make us laugh a lot to know that our road must be our villages equivalent to that road.   And the people who live there think they is so special haha.

Anyway while Mummy was showing the people round the house Tom and Bryn took us for a walk round the village.   It was raining and we got very wet and very cold.   When we came home Mummy got a massive sleeping bag out of the drying machine.   It was all soft and warm so we had a sleep.

Yesterday afternoon Mummy, Daddy, Katie, Cerys and Bryn went to view three houses.   The first house they went to the estate agent had told them the house was empty and him would meet them there.  So them pulls into the drive and there's a car but it not look like an estate agents car.   It very old and very dirty.   So Daddy say him think something wrong.  So Mummy goes to the house, her looks in the car as her walks past and it got a dog cage in the back and is just full of rubbish; old pop bottles and dirty socks and weird stuff.   And there's wellies and childrens toys scattered all over the front step.   Her think this is very strange for an empty house.   So her knocks on the door and this man, who is definitely not an estate agent, answers and looks at her strangely.
Mummy:   "We've come to view the house"
Man:        "No"
Mummy:   "Yes, we're meeting Matthew from Davis here at 3.15"
Man:        "No"
Mummy:  *sighs* "Is this house no longer for sale?"
Man:        "I don't know, I'm renting it"
Mummy"  "Oh.   OK.    There must be some mistake.   Sorry to bother you.   If Matthew from Davis turns up, tell him we've been and gone."

So they get in the car and drive round the corner and Mummy phones the estate agents:
Mummy:   "We were supposed to meet Matthew at a house at 3.15 but when we got there he was nowhere to be seen and the person in the house knew nothing about it."
Lady:       "No, he's waiting for you at the bungalow."
Mummy:  "No he's not cos I can see the house from here and he's not there."
Lady:       "2 bedroomed bungalow in *insert name of village here*?"
Mummy:   *sighs*   "No, 6 bedroomed."
Lady:       "We don't have a 6 bedroomed bungalow."
Mummy:  "Well you must have cos when I went on rightmove and clicked phone agent this is the number it rang".
Lady:       "Lemme have a look".....5 minutes later....."That's on with our Caldicot office, you've rung the Newport office."
Mummy:  "I rang the number on rightmove."
Lady:       "No it says ring *******, that's the number for Caldicot."
Mummy:  "That's the number I rang."
Lady:       "let me try"..... 2 minutes later...."Oh yes, it comes through to us.   How strange.  Anyway, that's not our house.   Do you want to view the 2 bedroomed?"
Mummy:  "Not really, I've got 3 children in the car."
Lady:       *to someone in her office* "Can you tell Matthew the lady has cancelled the viewing at 3.15."
Mummy:  *crossly*  "I haven't cancelled.   I'm outside the house I wanted to view.   It's not my fault rightmove have got the wrong number listed."
Lady:      "Do you want to me to put you through to the Caldicot office so you can make an appointment to view the house?"
Mummy:  "No, it doesn't matter.   It looked pretty shabby anyway."

So them has 40 minutes to kill.   It not worth going home.   It not enough time to go to Costa Coffee (No Katie it really isn't).    It not enough time to go to Subway (No Bryn it really isn't).   So them go to the house but Mummy say Daddy shouldn't sit outside and wait cos if they is anything like Mummy that would freak her out.  So them go and sit in the pub car park for a bit.   But then Katie starts being all silly like she does when we're waiting for Tom on a Thursday afternoon.   She says she needs a wee, she's hungry, she's thirsty, she's bored.   In the end Daddy gives her a pound and tells her to go in the pub and buy some crisps and then use the toilet.   So all the minihumans get out the car.   Then Daddy says to Mummy that them probably won't be allowed in on their own and Mummy should go with them.   But Mummy too cold to get out the car so her say her can't go in a pub on her own cos people will think she is a prostitute.  So Daddy does a big sigh and goes in the pub.
Daddy:     "Do you have any crisps?"
Lady:       "We don't sell any bar snacks sorry."
Daddy:    "Oh...erm... what kind of things do you do here?"
Lady:       "On Monday we do karaoke and on Tuesday we have a quiz and on Wednesday..."
Daddy:    "To be honest they just need the toilet."
Lady:      "Go on then."

Then they got back in the car and Daddy asks for his pound back.
Katie:     "I dropped it down the toilet."
Daddy:   "No you never, can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I dropped it down the urinal"
Daddy:   "They don't have urinals in the ladies.  Can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I know that now.   That's where I went wrong."
Daddy:   "Can I have my pound back please?"
Katie:     "I dropped it in the sanitary bin."
Daddy:   "No you never."
Katie:     "It got stuck in the tampon machine."
Daddy:   "Don't say tampon in front of Bryn."
Katie:     "It got lost in my pocket lining."
Daddy:   "Can I just have my pound back?"
Katie:     "No.   I lost it."
Mummy:  "GIVE HIM THE BEEPIN BEEPIN BEEPIN BEEPIN POUND BACK BEEPIN NOW YOU BEEPIN BEEPIN LITTLE BEEPER"
Katie:     "God calm down.   You only had to ask."

At which point Katie gave Daddy his pound coin back and it was time to go and see the house.   So the estate agent is waiting outside.   A different estate agent from a different company.   he is in a suitable estate agents kind of car and has got the right house.   My humans do think things is looking up already.   The house looks very nice, much bigger than it looks in the photo.   The estate agent knocks on the door and they all waits...and waits... and waits.   So he knocks again, louder.   And they wait...and wait....and Mummy and Daddy tell them what happened at the last house and he tells them how he had appointments booked all morning from 9am to 12pm and not one of the people viewing the houses turned up.   We do think that is terrible and very rude that people would make appointments and just not turn up.

Anyway eventually him knocks REALLY REALLY hard and this old lady answers the doors and says "Is the bell not working?"   And he lies and says "Yes, I rang it three times".

The house is lovely.   It very neat and tidy and smells clean, this makes a nice change.   And there is millions of cupboards.   My humans have a good look around and then it is time to go to the 3rd house.   them is meeting the same estate agent so him speeds off first in his speedy boy car.    On the way them do say they like the house but they think it a little bit far out of town and they is concerned that it be expensive to heat cos they has an oil boiler and no gas mains out there.   But them say them would still consider the house if the dream cottage got sold.

And so on to the dream cottage.   Even though them has already viewed it before them decided them wanted to come back cos it had been so long, 11 months to be precise that them had forgotten lots of things about the house and them wanted to be absolutely sure this was the house of their dreams.

The cottage did not disappoint.  It was even more perfect than they remembered.   Every room seemed bigger.  Even the kitchen which Mummy had said originally she definitely would have to have replaced immediately, even that looked nice and Mummy say other than the worktops which she would change, her did like it.   And them all said them could totally imagine themselves living there.   Them stayed for ages, the lady who lives there, Marion was so lovely again and offered them all drinks and my humans could quite happily have snuggled down on the settee and had a cup of tea but the estate agent was hovering by the door hopping from foot to foot so them said they better go and them all left.

Mummy and Daddy say this is the house.   Even if they get a low offer on our house they will just make a low offer on this one before they say no.   And them might even consider making the budget slightly bigger if they have to just so they don't lose it.

So we has our pawsies crossed.   That's all we can do.